I don't want to depress anyone here but I don't have anything positive to report.
I've taken a turn for the worse really.
I've since seen a different psychiatrist who prescribed me Prozac and Venlafaxine. Two antidepressants and quetiapine for sleep.
But nothing is working.
I tried to end my life but couldnt go through with it cause of the pain.
I miss her alot still. I know i should move on but I don't think I will find someone better. I still love her as well.
She's moved on obviously with someone else.
i'm still alone. I want to meet someone. I want someone to like me but the truth is that no one that beautiful and that amazing will ever like me will they. she probably regrets meeting me.
i dont sleep, im underweight, ive been told by all my friends and family that they can't handle my messages anymore, and that im depressing them and ruining their day. So now I can't talk to anyone anymore. I'm all alone. I have no one to go out with. And i had her and her family i threw it away.
is it so wrong and pathetic that I want someone to love me. I'm alone all day long everyday. It is getting to me so much. I have no one to talk to anymore. I've lost any confidence and happiness
I once had. And the therapists are honestly useless. They don't know how to help me. They don't know. I don't think anyone can help me anymore. Everyone just tells me to move on. That's it. Accept the hand that life dealt you and move on. I can't. I feel sick all day every day. I'm in pain all day every day. And I am lonely. I don't care about anything in my life anymore. And people think im behaving this way on purpose I'm not. I don't know how to care about things anymore. I'm in major pain all the time. I'm scared of what will happen if I run into her. I don't know if I'll just breakdown and cry. I'm so hurt that she doesn't care about me at all. Not at all. I'm hurt that I mean nothing to her.
I feel alone. I feel unloveable. And I can't keep waiting anymore. I can't hope that one day god know how far into the future, I might meet someone else. I don't like being single. I really liked being in a couple. It was the first time someone who wasn't related to me showwed interest in me. I'm a miserable person now. Everyone around me told me to shut up and keep these thoughts to myself as I was hurting them.
So now I can't tell anyone else these things I have to keep quite about them.