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destroyed

catkin

catkin

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is how I feel, can't manage, so alone and lonely, keep overdosing, it's getting worse but can't be awake for long before it all crashes in again. this isnt living
 

MarlieeB

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I agree that, that isn't living and I also know how you feel that overdosing to make sure you just sleep and sleep is what you think is best but as you know it's really dangerous.

I hope you can find another way to cope Catkin.

Huge :hug1:'s

xxx
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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thank you marlieebee, and Somerset, I don't know how to keep going
Is there anything at all that you can think might make your life more manageable?
I know it's tricky when you feel so rubbish. :hug:
Please take any opportunity you can to treat yourself with kindness. xx
 
catkin

catkin

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Ty xx
am doing hour by hour, OD feels safer than not, but also know can't keep going a I am. feel toxic and deserted. cat is helping, today is better than yesterday, progress I hope
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Your not toxic Catkin, wish I could convince you

Please stop the o.d.s they will be destroying you - I know it's very hard to cope.

Love
KS
xxxxx
 
F

fair&square75

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Hi catkin...this s exactly how I have felt today,and I've just come out of it,bloody awful,the only thing that helped was talking about it,but I understand you might not have anyone there to do that....sorry you're going through this,is absolutely awful but this forum is like a little lifeline at times...all the best to you catkin,keep fighting and I hope u feel a little relief asap x
 
catkin

catkin

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ty xx my support isnt available atm, it is hard alone, haven't been this self destructive for this long before but am going to try harder, am sorry anyone is in a similar state.
 
F

fair&square75

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No need for you to be sorry Catkin,its not your fault....i used to use alcohol a lot to mask things esp this particular mood (self destruct) now I don't some days its unbearable and I honestly couldn't say how to get through it unless there is a very patient person around which isn't always possible..
I try confide in family but all of a sudden they are unavailable when I haven't got a smile on my face...we are here though to listen �� al get me own bk on me family n next time they wanna talk to me al be unavailable lol (cant help feel that way) x
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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I understand you might not have anyone there to do that....sorry you're going through this,is absolutely awful but this forum is like a little lifeline at times.
I agree with fair&square on this. When I had given up and lost all hope and saw no way out other than suicidal thoughts and unhealthy binging behaviour.

The forums were there when I was absolutely alone and under assault by everyone I knew in real life. Not sure I would of made the progress I have without the wonderfull people here and on the other forum I used to visit regularily. Keep talking to us. Find strength knowing we aren't just words on a computer but real people who share the same types of things your going through and have a true understanding of how that effects you. Hope talking here gives you courage to make changes and do things more positively and kind towards yourself. Huge huge hugs.
 
catkin

catkin

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Thank you for your kindness here, it is appreciated. I find this place hard, much like any social interaction I feel awkward and unable to say what I need to, but it does help to have somewhere to say something at least.
Fair and Square, it is the same for me with family, I am non existent when not coping, unacceptable as unable to hide emotions. Painfully lonely. Am sorry.
xx
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Thank you for your kindness here, it is appreciated. I find this place hard, much like any social interaction I feel awkward and unable to say what I need to, but it does help to have somewhere to say something at least.
I understand that the forum can feel a bit scary for some people, but remember that there are people here (including me) who really care about you. :hug1:
Besides, this is your thread and you are free to express yourself however you want. xx
 
catkin

catkin

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Thanks Somerset, have been offline for a while, just seen this x.
A body memory is suffocating me atm, don't know how to escape it, not doing too well.
Crumpled is the word I think.
 
catkin

catkin

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It doesn't get better does it? That's what I've learnt but can't accept. Hurts. Trapping.
 
catkin

catkin

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Do you just ask for help? Say or shout "help!!"? But what if no one hears,or wants to listen, or maybe the worst, there was no one there in the first place? No, the worst worst, is that no one can make it better, no one can take it away. There There.
 
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