Desperate for help

[mrsg1980]

Hi i'm new to this forum, i'm vicky and i suffer with depression, anxiety attacks and agoraphobia, i dont really know where to start but i know i need help agoraphobia has taken over my life and i want it back, i used to be very outgoing with lots of friends and now i'm a wreck, with no friends, lucky if i can manage to leave the house once a week, my 2 kids and hubby are also suffering because of it.

I went to my gp who put me on a list a yr ago for behavioural therapy and when i ask him why i haven't been seen yet he just says there is a waiting list, well just how long do i have to wait, if this goes on any longer its obviously going to get harder and harder to combat.

please if any one has any advice or knows of any org that i can get in touch with i would be very gratefull, my family needs there mother, wife, daughter, auntie back

thanks, vicky

 

[nicros]

Hi mrsg, I am not an expert I am a new member on here too and I have 2 kids and a husband.I too suffer from anxiety and sometimes depression, if my anxiety is bad I do tend to avoid things but do not suffer as much as you from agrophobia, although my mum did terribly. I can only tell you what I did but there are other routes and help I'm sure. I kept having panic attacks that I would faint or even die if I was in a situation outside the house such as a school play or cinema and either avoided it or made myself so ill with worry that I was exhausted the next day. Well I called my health visitor who is based at our Dr surgery and she came to see me for a couple of mornings a week to talk about how I felt she also did the post natal /depression questionaire with me each time she came to assess how I was feeling. When she felt that she couldn't do anymore for me she put me in touch with a mental health worker based at the hospital and he contacted me within a week, we talked and he came to see me at home or I could go to the surgery if I felt able to. He then left but the new one was great because she used a CBT approach and when I talked about fainting etc she reasured me that none of the fears I had could actually happen and I slowly realised that I was in control without having panic attacks. I do still sit at the end of aisles etc in case I need to get out but I feel like my life is coming back to me and my family.
If I was you I would contact a health visitor and tell them you need to talk and they can put you in touch with a mental health worker who you see when you need to and at home if you want to. Its also worth asking if any MHW specifically use a CBT approach like mine did because a lot of them do now. This is something you can do whilst waiting for the ridiculous waiting list to come up. If you cannot get anywhere with this you could ask your Dr to refer you to the local mental health team and they will contact you quickly or you could ring your local mental health team at your nearest hospital.
I don't know of any help for agrophobia specifically but there is a section on it on this site or if you type in agrophobia forum on your Pc you might find a support group, this is how I found this one.
I hope some of that helps as I have been going through a bad time too lately and this site has kept me going so keep checking for replies, Nicola

 

[quality factor]

Hi mrsg and . I don't know much about agrophobia but I can emphasize with the way it's affecting your family...my mum suffered with it for many years when I was young.
As for anxiety and depression, I've been suffering for over thirty years and it does get better you have to keep working at it, sometimes medication or relaxation techniques will help.
It seems to me that you should try and contact your nearest CMHT if you feel able to.There is lots to read on the net of course.
Keep in touch with the forum there are folks here who will help if they can.

 

[Libra1]

Hi Mrsg and to MHF You will find lots of help and support here

 

[mrsg1980]

thank you for your replies

i was reading another thread about the 2 types of agoraphobia and tbh i'm not sure which catagory i fall under, i didn't have panic attacks until the agoraphobia was set in, i don't fear i will faint or die like some sufferers do its hard to explain but when i 'have' to leave the house (which is becoming less and less frequent) i start to tremble from head to toe, i get migraine and i start to feel like i want to burst into tears and embarrassingly i get diarrhoea and nausea.

its harder on my husband and my 2 young children than they admit to as my husband is the the one running around like a headless chicken doing all the things i should be and i feel like i'm letting my children down as we don't get to take them out much, don't get me wrong they do go out but not for full days out at the beach etc, this can be really hard on my 7 yr old son who has A.D.H.D and O.D.D (oppositional defiant disorder)

 

[daffy]

Hi there mrsg and welcome.

I can empathise with your situation cos along with other MH probs it was thought that i suffered with agorophobia, but whist talking to the psych i found if i was sat in the middle of an empty field i would be ok. It was more the prospect of meeting other people that caused my fear. Hence i was diagnosed with Avoidance Personality Disorder (AvPD). I stopped going out cos i was afraid of crowds/people /noise etc and paranoia.

I was given CBT to do, but as i live on my own now it wasnt much help as i still had no one to help me get out of the door so the fear stayed. But if you have support at home to help you and maybe start off with short accompanied walks still within the view of your house then gradually increase the distance then try it by yourself.

The P docs can also prescribe an anti anxiety drug as well

good luck

 

[ms_P]

Hi mrsg, welcome to the forum.
You said you used to be very outgoing with lots of friends and now you are a wreck. Did something specific happen to you in a public place that's changed your feelings about going out? You don't have to say what it is here if you don't want to, but it may help to think about the cause. I know from myself that I didn't just wake up one morning and have agoraphobia etc. Things happened to me which caused my negative responses. I'm dealing with changing my thinking and establishing positive experiences to replace the negative ones.
Just a thought.

 

[mrsg1980]

Yes i was in a violent relationship with an ex who has paranoid scitzophrenia and he hit me everyday from my first child being born, he tried to push me downstairs while i was holding my baby and also 4 months pregnant at the time, the final straw was when he came at me and tried to stab me in the head with scissors while i was feeding my son,
the police arrested him and had him sectioned, i didnt really hear from him after then from my son being 10 months old until my son was 3, he found out i had got a new start with a lovely man and 2 days before our first christmas together we got the a letter from his solicitor telling us we were being taken to court as he now wanted a parental responsability order and a contact order,
this dragged out for 3 years in which i was forced to go to court in liverpool where he denied ever laying a finger on me, the more i went to court the more i sank into depression, i was still petrified of him it got to a point where as soon as our car entered liverpool i felt sick got the tremors and eventually we parked on the docks car park as we always did and i froze, i couldnt get out of the car, i couldnt move, my husband started to drive us home and as soon as we got near home i was fine again,
a few weeks later our home was broken into while we slept and one of the things taken was a photo of the children (i have refused for him to have photo's of the kids because of his threats to snatch them, and i thought if he doesnt know what they look like they will be safer) and we all including the police knew who was behind it and they took me to his flat to see if i could see anything of mine there but all we found was a flat full of filth, a kitchen full of empty beer bottles even though he says he doesnt drink, a bedroom full of empty food packets and another room full of used cat litter, the police couldnt prove it was him that broke in but as they said who else would take a photo off the wall of someone elses children!
anyway 2 weeks later we got a letter again from his solicitor telling us he no longer wants to have anything to do with the children but things didnt improve for me, since we got broke into i have slept on the sofa and its now been 2 years, i hardley sleep and when i do its only during the day when the kids have gone to school, and the agoraphobia just keeps getting worse
during all this we also had to deal with the upset it caused my son who dispite only being a baby he remembered certain things, he had always been scared of men and noise and he was made to go and see cafcass because of the court things, he started having nightmares, sleepwalking and bed wetting

 

[ms_P]

What a terrible ordeal, mrsg.
Would it be possible for you to see someone to talk about what you've been through and how it's affecting your life and your loved ones?
I think the longer you wait, the harder it will be to overcome how you're reacting to stressors.
In order to help your children, you need to help yourself first.