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Dermatillomania.

  • Thread starter Sapphirepenguin9900
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Blue Opal

Blue Opal

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Yeah my father used to slap my hand away from my mouth or say: 'you're destroying your lip'. Some really constructive criticism. My mother says (very understanding) that's just what I do.
Once you move away from them they won't see it anymore, I guess that's the only thing that really helps.
My partner doesn't say anything about it because he knows I hate it when he does. I love him for that (not only because of that).
 
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Sapphirepenguin9900

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Yes my boyfriend never really mentions it even when I actively do it in front of him. I think he only has once and he’s seen the mess my face is without makeup.

At one point he had his hand on my face tho and felt a scab and was like “nice scar, can I pick it?” Honestly just made me laugh.
 
Blue Opal

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Oh God, that made me laugh too, thanks for that.
There really are good people out there.
 
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MynameisM

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Hey first of all I’m sorry this is happening to you! I have SPD too and it sucks, but it gets better if you are willing to do the work :) It would be best to seek help from a therapist, but if you can’t or really don’t want too you could try thin (bamboo) gloves and/or squeeze balls (English isn’t my first language). Every time you get the urge to pick at your skin or if you notice you are picking you can grab the ball and squeeze instead. You could use something else, but it’s necessary to use something that involves a different act/movement than picking. And you can wear the gloves all day, except for when you’re eating ofc.

if you live together with others it can feel embarrassing to do this stuff and I understand that. If there’s things (like this or totally different stuff) stopping you you could choose not to do this. But I would recommend it.

Taking care of your skin every night can also really help. Having a skincare routine is not only good for your skin, but it also makes you invested in taking care of yourself and your skin and could help stop the picking.

I have a question for others with dermatillomania. Do you get embarrassed? Everyone around me is sad there’s a lockdown, but I’m actually really happy, because that means I don’t have to see anyone, or rather no one has to see me. But after having been in lockdown for a while I get more and more scared. I don’t want to go to the grocery store, because I know people that could possibly be there and I don’t want them to see my face full of scabs and all the scarring. I don’t want to take walks around the neighborhood, because I could and probably would run into people. I don’t turn on my camera in online meetings, even with some of my closest friends. I just feel so very ashamed. How do you deal with embarrassment?
 
FlowerBox

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Oh finally..I haven't seen hardly anyone on here who deal with this too..I have had this issue since I was around 13, it started with my scalp but then moved to my face and shoulders/upper arms...it was probably the worst when I was 16/17 but occasionally I still have days where I waste hours and hours...
I really don't know how to overcome it and it has gotten worse since the pandemic & not leaving the house as much. I am still trying to figure out what will work for me 😣
 
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Sapphirepenguin9900

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I have been trying to pick less the last few days but for some reason my face is so sore today. I'm breaking out everywhere again now as well. I hate this.
 
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MynameisM

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Oh finally..I haven't seen hardly anyone on here who deal with this too..I have had this issue since I was around 13, it started with my scalp but then moved to my face and shoulders/upper arms...it was probably the worst when I was 16/17 but occasionally I still have days where I waste hours and hours...
I really don't know how to overcome it and it has gotten worse since the pandemic & not leaving the house as much. I am still trying to figure out what will work for me 😣
have you been to a therapist? I wish you the best of luck and Im happy(and sad too ofc) to finally see someone that has the same.

for me it started way back I’m afraid (I know this from pictures of me as a four year old with band aids on my cheeks), but it definitely has been getting worse in my teens. I haven’t figured it out either, I have been way toI embarrassed to wear gloves at home with others around and seek help from a therapist. You’re not alone:hug5:
 
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MynameisM

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I have been trying to pick less the last few days but for some reason my face is so sore today. I'm breaking out everywhere again now as well. I hate this.
and rightfully so. It’s so annoying. It will get better with time and willpower and a little help from other!:hug5:
 
FlowerBox

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have you been to a therapist? I wish you the best of luck and Im happy(and sad too ofc) to finally see someone that has the same.

for me it started way back I’m afraid (I know this from pictures of me as a four year old with band aids on my cheeks), but it definitely has been getting worse in my teens. I haven’t figured it out either, I have been way toI embarrassed to wear gloves at home with others around and seek help from a therapist. You’re not alone:hug5:
I talked about it a bit in therapy before but that wasn't the main reason I was going (and then I stopped going because of the pandemic)
But nothing really seemed to help me very much...though in the past week or so I have been trying to change my mindset about it, like instead of fighting it so much and treating it as a horrible shameful thing, it's more like "I don't have to do this, I don't want to do this, I don't have time for this right now! Nope!" (respectfully!) I try to close my eyes and clasp my hands together and let my "higher self" takeover and say "hey...I want to help this human..." and that has actually been helping me personally the past week or so...it's still much easier said than done
 
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Sapphirepenguin9900

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and rightfully so. It’s so annoying. It will get better with time and willpower and a little help from other!:hug5:
Is it likely the acne will clear up if I stop touching my face? this has to be the reason for it surely.
 
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MynameisM

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I talked about it a bit in therapy before but that wasn't the main reason I was going (and then I stopped going because of the pandemic)
But nothing really seemed to help me very much...though in the past week or so I have been trying to change my mindset about it, like instead of fighting it so much and treating it as a horrible shameful thing, it's more like "I don't have to do this, I don't want to do this, I don't have time for this right now! Nope!" (respectfully!) I try to close my eyes and clasp my hands together and let my "higher self" takeover and say "hey...I want to help this human..." and that has actually been helping me personally the past week or so...it's still much easier said than done
That sounds really helpful. I’ll try that too, but maybe I’ll need to work on my self esteem first : )
 
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MynameisM

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Is it likely the acne will clear up if I stop touching my face? this has to be the reason for it surely.
I don’t know for sure. But there is a big chance it will. Touching your face can cause acne to become waaay worse. But if you started touching your face because of acne in the first place something else must have caused it. It could be stress, hormones, food, lack of sleep. Just try to take good care of yourself and everything will be all right!
 
FlowerBox

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That sounds really helpful. I’ll try that too, but maybe I’ll need to work on my self esteem first : )
oh yeah I found working on my self esteem helped a lot too and is probably why I don't do it AS badly as when I was younger
I know I mentioned this, but I really think it's been helpful to let go of the shame and embarrassment after a slip-up. It's not easy to do and I still feel it sometimes but I try to just shrug it off and move on, and hurry up and do something to keep my hands and mind busy
 
Blue Opal

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Is it likely the acne will clear up if I stop touching my face? this has to be the reason for it surely.
Hey. You've probably tried a lot of products already but have you tried niacinamide? I'm only on my 2nd day but the reviews are so positive. It's niacinamide with zinc from The Ordinary.
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

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I am the only lip picker here. I've never known anyone who does that. Lips heal pretty fast and with lip balm on hardly anyone even notices, so I don't get embarrassed, thank God. If you look closely you'll see my lips are mostly made up of scar tissue though.
I can only imagine how difficult it is for you guys. :grouphug:
 
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