- Mar 6, 2016
Hey.. so I had an email from this site yesterday as it was world mental health day, I must of signed up years ago I don’t even remember. But I’d really like some help as I’m starting to feel unhelpable.. here’s my story.. I’ve been on antidepressants for years on and off for what different GP’s said was depression and anxiety and I’ve also had CBT. They first diagnosed me because I was convinced there was something (anything) seriously medically wrong with me and after a few tests was told it’s anxiety which is causing the depression. I agree in a way. I also don’t leave the house by myself unless I absolutely have to. The rest of my days I spend inside self harming. For hours and hours. Mostly my face and chest. I create problems with my skin so I can’t even leave the house if I wanted to. I can’t help it. After some research I’ve realised I have dermatillomania. I’ve told my GP who said I have OCD and BDD but has never heard of dermatillomania. I begged for years to see a dermatologist because if they could give me a cure for my ‘acne’ I wouldn’t do it anymore. I now take antibiotics for my skin but they don’t do much and it doesn’t seem like I can get anything else. I stopped taking antidepressants for some reason but started them again recently which after wanting to kill myself for the first week I think I’m ok now. I still don’t leave the house, I still self harm, I still hate my self for it all. I just want to be normal. I’m also back on the waiting list for therapy. Am I completely alone and just have to live like this forever? Or just until I can’t take it anymore and kill myself? Thanks.
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