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Derealisation? Daydreaming? What is this???

Anon_21

Anon_21

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Every couple of months I go through some sort of strange spell where I feel separated from my reality. Like I'm supposed to be a different person living a different life. It is usually triggered by a dream, fiction book, or new tv series. Sometimes it is specific, where I become fixated on a certain person (real or fictionalized) and I am either supposed to be them or be with them. Other times it is just a broad sense of longing for a different life and my mind creates endless possibilities in the form of daydreams/fantasies.

Problem is, I have a great life, a husband and kid I love more than anything. But this cloud comes over me like some sort of attack, makes me feel like I'm a different person in my head and am trapped in this life created by someone else. It can wreak havoc on me emotionally and distances me from my family.

Does this sound like something anyone else experiences? I've considered maladaptive daydreaming, but the way it feels like an attack, a complete change inside me, makes me wonder otherwise. Usually they only last 2-3 days but the last one was almost 2 weeks. I would love to talk to someone else who experiences similar and/or has a name for it. Thanks for any replies.
 
T

Tonic

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when you are in these spells, do you believe that what is happening is real or has really happened or will really happen?
 
Anon_21

Anon_21

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when you are in these spells, do you believe that what is happening is real or has really happened or will really happen?
Hmm...I am still there, aware of my love for my family, but it's like a cloud has been put over it so that reality is all in the background and in the forefront of my mind is some kind of desperate longing to be living a different life...

I am aware I can't actually live it though, that I'm not really a different person, that I'll never live whatever life I'm fantasizing about. Knowing that usually makes me feel angry and resentful inside that I'm "stuck" here, which in turn makes me feel guilty since I dont really have anything to be running from. I just get bored or restless or overwhelmed and my brain tries to take me somewhere else.

Did that make any sense at all??? :confused: I dont know what to make of it. Thanks so much for replying tho.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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hello x
i suffer quite badly from dissociation but it confuses me ,i don't feel able to advise because of this but wanted to send you massive hugs and support :hug5: love Lu x
 
Anon_21

Anon_21

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Thank you, Lu :hug:
I dont understand it either :(
It feels like I'm just being selfish or childish, but it's a state of mind I really don't know how to control. Maybe will talk to a therapist about it :BLAH:
 
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