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Depression

T

Topcat

Guest
That feeling you get when running a distance race, or giving birth, or other endurance events, and you reach that point where you think, "I can't do it", you are physically, mentally and emotionally at your limit. But somehow you dig deep to find those inner reserves that will get you to the end. One more hour, you're there, totally spent but you did it.
But what if that feeling lasts for months? What if instead of needing your reserves to get you through that last hour, you need them for 2 months, or 60 days, or 1440 hours. Or longer?
Every day you are having to push yourself to keep going, or give up. But what does it mean to give up? Because the endurance event is just living, just doing the dishes, or hoovering, or getting the shopping, going to work, being a caring partner, taking the kids out, helping with homework. How can you give up?
For me, I conjure up an internal army sargeant who yells at me to just do it. Keep moving. Get things done. At the same time I'm crying, maybe not on the outside, but inside. Worn out. Really wanting to lay down and stop it all.
But I can't.
That's me anyway, don't know if its the same for others.
:peace:
 
Grape

Grape

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 2, 2014
Messages
1,213
Location
England
I think that's the same for most of us on these forums sadly.
I think we just keep going afraid of that moment when we give in and give upand fall into a sobbing heap on the floor.
But even then we realise we can't stay there. We have to get up again and pretend we're ok.
Never ending eh.
Have to bs mindful of small pleasures to recharge our batteries. And mine don't seem to be duracell.
 
anouska

anouska

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Joined
Jan 13, 2013
Messages
859
Location
UK
I think you've just described family life with kids whilst having depression to a 'T' TopCat. I don't think you give yourself enough credit. You do so much and have done so well. You're still achieving and that's the main thing.
I wish I could help you through TopCat xx:hug:
 
T

Topcat

Guest
Thanks xx

Just had a letter from the DVLA revoking my driving licence.

Wonder what was in the report?
 
anouska

anouska

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 13, 2013
Messages
859
Location
UK
Thanks xx

Just had a letter from the DVLA revoking my driving licence.

Wonder what was in the report?
Oh no!

I'm sorry TopCat, I haven't been keeping up to date.

I just came back here to add, that I think you're are great mum.
 
T

Topcat

Guest
The consultant from CMHT, who I never met and who almost told the DVLA I was on a mixture of meds. It's only that the occ therapist I see there spotted the report that she corrected him. If he changed it that is.
I was just starting to try driving again after 6 years, finding it scary tho.
So not the end of the world, but an inconvenience as I've had that freedom taken away should I need it.
 
H

Helena1

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
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Oct 11, 2014
Messages
10,575
Location
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least you can a free bus pass now though.
 
anouska

anouska

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Messages
859
Location
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It is an inconvenience, what a shame. Maybe you could call DVLA and ask why and go from there - possibly make an appointment with your consultant?
 
B

BAGGPUSS

Guest
How do I get that? x
I was told only a few days ago that if the dvla put us on a driving restriction we get a free bus pass TopCat, I think Brat told me

I am in the same boat TopCat .
 
T

Topcat

Guest
The letter made me laugh. "The national standards blah blah blah require at least 3 months of stable mental health with satisfactory compliance with recommended treatment before resuming driving."
3mths stability, would be nice, I guess I am fluctuating in quite a stable way...
Compliance with treatment? I assume taking meds.... meds that affect driving?! Okaaaaay..
 
B

BAGGPUSS

Guest
Sounds like a bullshit Woffle letter TopCat, and who the hell can drive on Meds safely lol

its safer not to take meds when driving:scratcheshead:

its not a permanent driving restriction TopCat you just got a break from all the tossers on the road. ;)
 
T

Topcat

Guest
I was told only a few days ago that if the dvla put us on a driving restriction we get a free bus pass TopCat, I think Brat told me

I am in the same boat TopCat .
Will just buy a horse and ride it everywhere. Tie it up outside CMHT when I visit, leave it shitting on their doorstep.....
 
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