Depression

[Kenza]

My psychiatrist upped my dose because he saw I was struggling but that felt like a step back. I can't fight the internalized stigma about antidepressants. Meanwhile I'm repeating the last year of high school and feel like a complete failure.

 

[bpd2020]

Hello Kenza. I understand you struggle with taking antidepressants. I imagine in Tunisia there is more of a stigma then here in the UK. I think increasing your dose could be really helpful. I do not see it as a step back. To me it is more of a step forward. You have acknowledged that you need some support and managed to get that. I think you are brave.

 

[Kenza]

Thank you for saying that yeah the stigma here is so bad. ..

 

[bpd2020]

Just think, you are taking positive steps to make yourself feel better. That is something very positve.

 

[Kenza]

My worst fear is that I no longer have the mental capacity for school. .. it is such a scary thought I'm not sure what to do if university wouldn't be a choice.

 

[Kenza]

I've always loved the English language and dreamt about pursuing education in an English speaking country I had so many big dreams and now I just feel uncapable of anything. It's so bad going from thinking you can conquer the world into thinking you're a waste of space.

 

[bpd2020]

How about giving yourself time to see how you feel with this increase? It may help you to be able to focus on your studies.

 

[bpd2020]

I've always loved the English language and dreamt about pursuing education in an English speaking country I had so many big dreams and now I just feel uncapable of anything. It's so bad going from thinking you can conquer the world into thinking you're a waste of space.

Having depression does not make you a waste of space. Your English is fantastic and there is no reason you cannot work using your skills. Maybe there are other options such as being an interpreter? Give yourself a chance to feel better.

 

[wraziel]

4 u

 

[Kenza]

That is a possibility. .. I'm currently studying biology as a concentration and it's so hard. My main subjects are math physics and biology and I'm struggling with all 3. I used to be good at them when I chose them but then depression hit and I stopped being able to understand a thing. I had to take two gap years and my dad blamed my depression on school instead of owning up to the role he played in it... he blamed me for choosing biology and said I can't do it.

Having depression does not make you a waste of space. Your English is fantastic and there is no reason you cannot work using your skills. Maybe there are other options such as being an interpreter? Give yourself a chance to feel better.

 

[bpd2020]

It is sad to hear your dad did that. I can understand you now finding those subjects difficult. It is really hard to concentrate when we feel depressed.