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Depression since 12 years old

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Rizzano

Active member
Joined
Oct 16, 2021
Messages
33
Location
Denver
My family never kept current on rent or bills, so we were always moving. One year I was in 3 new schools in one school year. Needless to say I was always the new kid and bullied.

At a very early age I realize I suffered from depression. I have dealt with it since. I am now 46, almost 47. I take medication for it, 2 in fact, but I get breakthrough depression quite often. I am a huge gamer and sometimes I get so depressed I can't enjoy anything.

I used to have best friends, but everyone got busy. Now I have no one. I can talk to my wife but she really isn't in the position to completely understand what I go through. I have no one to talk to. Last night I called crisis line because I just wanted to speak to someone. I wasn't feeling harmful toward myself or anyone else, but I feel everything building up and I want to avoid having to go to a wellness hospital.
 
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SadRainbow

Former member
Joined
Aug 5, 2021
Messages
2,657
Location
Norfolk
I'm sorry you're struggling and have no one to talk to. It can help a little to get things out here in the forums. I often feel lonely because of my depression - not many people understand and I don't want to drag anyone down.
 
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Rizzano

Active member
Joined
Oct 16, 2021
Messages
33
Location
Denver
I understand. I have a few people online through gaming that have told me "hey my DM's are always open" but like you say I don't want to drag anyone down.
 
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SadRainbow

Former member
Joined
Aug 5, 2021
Messages
2,657
Location
Norfolk
I understand. I have a few people online through gaming that have told me "hey my DM's are always open" but like you say I don't want to drag anyone down.
Well at least here it's acceptable to be miserable 😁
 
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StillDepressed

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 28, 2021
Messages
799
Location
UK
I'm sorry your struggling. Depression is a lonely place, sometimes even when people are there, their lack of understanding makes it harder.
I hoped the crisis line helped a little, although I have never found them useful.
 
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Rizzano

Active member
Joined
Oct 16, 2021
Messages
33
Location
Denver
It actually did help a small but. I just needed a small release to avoid a hospital stay, but everything is still here and almost at full force.
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
8,109
Location
Canada
That's a long time to be dealing with depression. There's some people here who know about it too.
 
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Rizzano

Active member
Joined
Oct 16, 2021
Messages
33
Location
Denver
No, it's not a source. I normally don't know what the source is, I just have depression. Most times I enjoy things but when I get very depressed gaming doesn't even make me happy,
 
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