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Depression, Schizoid or Schizophrenia

E

elipt

New member
Joined
Jan 14, 2022
Messages
2
Location
New York
Hello! First timer here.
After being to one psychiatrist and two psychotherapists, I landed here wondering what's with me. Psychiatrist said i have schizoid personality disorder treats but not fully schizoid, one of the psychotherapists said I have depression, other said i have schizophrenia maybe. No medicines were prescribed in any of the cases.
If someone can help me, I would be very grateful.
Now about me and my symptoms. Man 47y. Tall, normal weight. Never been into sports. Never been into parties but didn\t avoid people. At the age of 28 i had a period of changing few jobs, because i didn't like them, working for 2-3 months, then quitting. The biggest period of not working was 6 months. Meanwhile playing computer games, not meeting with people except occasionally with my friends from the college. Then found a good job and position and was working for 12 years. Married, got a child. Never been ambitious but i succeeded to get the highest position in big famous company and the bonusses of that. Though, never been good with the money spending.
At age of 43 i decided to change my life and leave the pressure from my job and start trading cryptocurrencies for living. Failed. My father died, we weren't close with him. I was feeling in a hole. After a year of total self isolation, staying in the dark room laying, sleeping and eating, i got new job. Again good management position in a big company. All feelings went away, already 4 years i dont feel any affection to my wife and kid, to anyone. I don't feel motivated to do anything after work. No plans for the future, leaving day by day. Just laying in the bed and checking Twitter for hours. Don't have strengths. Still at work i am good, no one knows that i am going without pleasure, just for the money.
I am not feeling sad in the ordinary way, mostly empty, not pity myself, i dont cry, neither have anxiety. I can't sleep at night. My patterns of sleep are totally crazy- sleeping after work from 19-22, then staying awake until 4-5 in the morning, then sleeping from 5 to 7. If you ask me why i don;t sleep at night i would say " because i want to have free time and my life, not only obligations". I have put on weight last year. Feeling irritated almost every day by the kid and my wife and realizing that it's for small things. But i am trying to avoid them since i feel pressured and irritated by them.
This is my life for the last 4 years. When doctors asked me how do i see the perfect life for me i told them " Not working, sleeping and having a lot of money".
Can i have schizophrenia with all negative symptoms? I never had any positive symptom. I speak clearly, not slow. But if i could, i would not engage often in conversations. Unfortunately it is impossible. Occasionally i buy staff i like but i don't use- more shoes than i need, more clothes, bicycle i dont ride etc. Never been sexual monster, but had sexual life. Already 4 years it is gone. I don't feel any wish. My colleagues don't suspect that when i go home i only lay. In front of them i keep conversations, smile, being social. Same with other people. But home i shut down and want to be alone and not bothered.
What's with me people?
 
E

elipt

New member
Joined
Jan 14, 2022
Messages
2
Location
New York
I feel like kind of depressed by not seeing something positive in the future, but psychotherapist told me it's not depression if don't feel like being sad, crying, pity miself or having suicidal thoughts and having strengths to go to work ( despite that it takes effort). All my blood and hormone exams are perfect. I have very slow heart rate. 50
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
2,915
Location
Australia
I feel like kind of depressed by not seeing something positive in the future, but psychotherapist told me it's not depression if don't feel like being sad, crying, pity miself or having suicidal thoughts and having strengths to go to work ( despite that it takes effort). All my blood and hormone exams are perfect. I have very slow heart rate. 50
I'm not quite sure what is causing your feelings, but I do suspect your therapist is being narrow minded about the many forms depression can take.
 
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