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Depression ruined my life.

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colin1967

Member
Joined
Apr 21, 2015
Messages
17
Hi there everyone.
Ive been like this for many years now, but being the usual type of guy who wouldnt admit to having a problem it all eventually caught up with me.
I had it all, beautiful partner, beautiful daughter, brand new house, bmw car great paying job, holidays in the Caribean and because of my stupid male ego and not admitting to myself that i had depression i lost the lot.
My partner couldnt take it anymore and left me. From there, it all went downhill, i was drinking whisky like water for months on end and smoking copius amounts of grass and also taking speed, trying basically to make my body give up on me, but as you see it didnt work. So called friends never came near me, i body swerved my family for months. It all came to a head one night when with a bottle of whisky and i intended to end it all. The next morning i admitted myself to hospital and it saved my life. That was 2 months ago and everyday is still a struggle but slowly im getting there. Ive kinda barred myself from seeing my daughter because i hate letting her see me like this. I get too emotional when i see her and break down in tears. The next step in getting better is getting a job, but i cant even get an interview for one the now. This maybe read like a car crash of a post, but all i want to say to the men out there, get help as soon as possible for your illness and dont end up like me with nothing left. I lovve my partner so much but it looks like its all too late to save what we had. Thanks
 
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colin1967

Member
Joined
Apr 21, 2015
Messages
17
Thanks Nikita, thats the hardest part, we loved each other deeply, but she just couldnt take it anymore and ill have to live with that for the rest of my days. I think/hope ill be able to see my wee girl in about a month if all goes well. Maybe one day in the future my ex will give me a second chance to provemyself to her,thats what im hoping for anyways. Thanks again.
 
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Gredge23

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2015
Messages
1,062
Location
Ireland
Hi Colin sorry ur life went like that and u are suffering for it now , heartache is the worst , I was in the same boat , but I put my foot down and made sure I got myself together , especially for myself my daughter and my ex , my hope is that when she sees I got my shit together ther might be a chance , but at the minute it's still a work in progress.

Welcome anyway buddy , don't be afraid to get active in this forum , it's helped me a lot so far :)
 
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colin1967

Member
Joined
Apr 21, 2015
Messages
17
Evenby posting on here has lifted my mood. I spoke to my daughter a couple of days ago and was telling her i was getting better she replied with a happy yey dont be sad daddy, my eyes filled with tears as they have now writing this. Im gonna get better for her so we can have great happy days together. Its been great getting this off my chest, i wish i had thought about depression forums earlier.
 
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Gredge23

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2015
Messages
1,062
Location
Ireland
Aww that brought tears to my eyes , they didn't flow tho he he , I'm so happy for u buddy , the feeling you have now remember it and as life is full of ups and downs and when ur down again just go remember back to how u felt now and that drive u feel to get better for your daughter :)

Hope it works out for ya buddy , and remember wer all here for you!
 
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