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Depression or quiet BPD?

J

jjusa

Active member
Joined
Jan 1, 2021
Messages
31
Location
USA
I have been wondering if I am suffering from depression or if it's actually more complicated, like quiet BPD. Here is how I can best describe my symptoms. This could very well just be depression. I am seeking therapy, but I also know that quiet BPD is not well-known. I haven't seen anyone on here talk about quiet BPD, but maybe those in the borderline spectrum can relate.
  • I want closeness, but I push people away whenever possible
  • I feel like I've been emotionally abandoned by those closest to me - friends and family
  • My mood can change rather quickly if I get triggered by something. One minute I am completely content, the next I feel despair and shame.
  • I like this person one day, but the next day I despise them or wonder why I ever liked them in the first place
  • I have a lot of conflicting beliefs within myself. One of them being around sexual orientation. One day I feel like, yes I am LGBT, the next I feel like I was completely wrong about myself. Then I go back to feeling like I am LGBT. The cycle repeats. The cognitive dissonance doesn't ever go away.
  • I feel a lot of shame and self-doubt
  • I feel like I'm always too much for people and that they cannot deal with me because I am me
  • People can betray my trust very quickly
  • People see me and think I have everything together because I don't "show" it
  • I was told by a therapist that I have social anxiety/phobia
  • I hide how I truly feel
  • I'm such a people pleaser and can't seem to not stop wanting people to see me as perfect
  • I change my outlook on things all the time. One event or comment could change my feelings about something
  • I am chronically indecisive
  • I isolate myself when I get hurt or feel any kind of negative emotion
  • I am confused as to who I am. I feel inner turmoil about my identity on a daily basis
Could this just be Major Depressive Disorder? I was told that I have both depression and anxiety too. I don't have suicidal ideation either. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks
 
J

JeanPierre

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 4, 2021
Messages
2,038
Location
Southern USA
Does it really matter?
You still need to work your issues and learn to love the child within so
You can get on with your life.
 
J

jjusa

Active member
Joined
Jan 1, 2021
Messages
31
Location
USA
I want to make sure I am getting the right treatment
 
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