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Depression or Anxiety?

T

twinkletoes

New member
Joined
Jul 12, 2009
Messages
1
Hi I hope its ok to post here.

I have suffered with depression since I was about 16. I was only diagnosed with PND after my son was born 5 years ago when I was 26 and was given anti-depressants which I took for a couple of months but felt they weren't working so stopped taking them.

I have been getting progressively worse but not sure if its depression or some sort of social anxiety. Its come to a point now where its having an effect on my kids and husband. The following are just a few things that I have trouble with:

-when the phone rings, and I don't know the caller (I have caller display) I'm too scared to answer it.
-similarly, I can't make a phonecall to anyone I don't know.
-same again if anyone is at the front door
-I dread the school run because it means potentially having to talk to someone. I purposely make sure I am a couple of minutes late so that I don't have to wait with the other mums who might try and talk to me. As a result of this my son never gets invited to go round anyone's house for tea anymore. I'm sure they think I'm stuck up but that's not the case.

I will talk to people on a one-on-one basis but only if they approach me, I can't strike up a conversation (and don't want to). I don't think I'm agorophobic because I will go out on my own to do the shopping etc. If I had the choice I wouldn't go but its a necessity. I am more at ease when going out if my OH is with me.

This afternoon we are supposed to be going to a BBQ - one of my OH's work colleagues' birthdays and ever since hubby told me about it I have been dreading it and wondering how I can get out of going. OH said he didn't really want to go anyway so it made me feel a bit better. Needless to say we are not going now.

I won something off ebay the other week and it was collection only. I told myself I would be able to go and collect it and built myself up for it but when it came to it I just couldn't do it and OH had to go instead.

I have one friend who I see every couple of weeks or so. She always comes to mine, she's always the one who arranges it. I have lied to her on a few occasions, ie saying I'm busy or ill so that she doesn't come over because I just want to be on my own. If I had the choice I probably wouldn't see her at all. There's nothing wrong with her either, she's a lovely person. What kind of friend am I?

I've talked to my OH this morning and told him I feel like I'm a burden and I'm not getting any better so I've decided to make a doctor's appointment next week. He's been very supportive and has been trying to get me to go to the docs for a long time. I haven't gone before because I was worried they wouldn't take me seriously and think I'm a fruit loop. Also I was worried they would send me for counselling which I really don't want. I can't bear the thought of sitting in front of someone talking about myself and being the centre of attention - its my worst nightmare.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Sorry for the long post I just wanted to get it all out.
 
rollinat

rollinat

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
1,816
Hi and welcome to the forum. It's good to have you here and I hope you find it a friendly place. You've taken a really big step by posting on here and by making an appointment with your GP. It might help to print out your post here and give it to your GP to read, if you are worried about saying everything you want to say. Lots of people do this - I have done it myself - and it takes away the anxiety of not being able to express it all.

Whether it's depression or anxiety or a mixture is not for anyone here to say - none of us are medics (as far as I know) - but hopefully you will find some like-minded people who understand what you are talking about.

Take care and I hope you will come back on here to let us know how the appointment goes.

Rollinat :hug:
 
S

shelly

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 20, 2009
Messages
112
Location
Lincolnshire
hiya,

Hi I hope its ok to post here.

I have suffered with depression since I was about 16. I was only diagnosed with PND after my son was born 5 years ago when I was 26 and was given anti-depressants which I took for a couple of months but felt they weren't working so stopped taking them.

I have been getting progressively worse but not sure if its depression or some sort of social anxiety. Its come to a point now where its having an effect on my kids and husband. The following are just a few things that I have trouble with:

-when the phone rings, and I don't know the caller (I have caller display) I'm too scared to answer it.
-similarly, I can't make a phonecall to anyone I don't know.
-same again if anyone is at the front door
-I dread the school run because it means potentially having to talk to someone. I purposely make sure I am a couple of minutes late so that I don't have to wait with the other mums who might try and talk to me. As a result of this my son never gets invited to go round anyone's house for tea anymore. I'm sure they think I'm stuck up but that's not the case.

I will talk to people on a one-on-one basis but only if they approach me, I can't strike up a conversation (and don't want to). I don't think I'm agorophobic because I will go out on my own to do the shopping etc. If I had the choice I wouldn't go but its a necessity. I am more at ease when going out if my OH is with me.

This afternoon we are supposed to be going to a BBQ - one of my OH's work colleagues' birthdays and ever since hubby told me about it I have been dreading it and wondering how I can get out of going. OH said he didn't really want to go anyway so it made me feel a bit better. Needless to say we are not going now.

I won something off ebay the other week and it was collection only. I told myself I would be able to go and collect it and built myself up for it but when it came to it I just couldn't do it and OH had to go instead.

I have one friend who I see every couple of weeks or so. She always comes to mine, she's always the one who arranges it. I have lied to her on a few occasions, ie saying I'm busy or ill so that she doesn't come over because I just want to be on my own. If I had the choice I probably wouldn't see her at all. There's nothing wrong with her either, she's a lovely person. What kind of friend am I?

I've talked to my OH this morning and told him I feel like I'm a burden and I'm not getting any better so I've decided to make a doctor's appointment next week. He's been very supportive and has been trying to get me to go to the docs for a long time. I haven't gone before because I was worried they wouldn't take me seriously and think I'm a fruit loop. Also I was worried they would send me for counselling which I really don't want. I can't bear the thought of sitting in front of someone talking about myself and being the centre of attention - its my worst nightmare.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Sorry for the long post I just wanted to get it all out.
I just wanted to say everything you have just said sounds exactly like me. I sat in the car today until the last minute to pick up the kids because I couldn't face talking to anyone. How is your concentration ?
 
Lion Heart

Lion Heart

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 24, 2009
Messages
740
Location
kent
hi twinkletoes,i got the exactly the same problem as you and it has been running my life for the last 14 years,the only diffents is my problem is worse when i am on a one to one.i get panic when the door knock,like my heart stops for a slit sec, or if the phone rings,i try my best to get out of doing anything social,i no what you are feeling like & i no how much it sucks,trust me i am so bad its unreal and never right.

but i have got an appointment for tomorrow to talk about it to someone :eek:
this is going to be so hard for me,its all i can think about at the minit,i am sweating and i am terrorfied about it,in a way i wish i did not ring them now,but i am going to force myself to go,this is what i think you should do too
do not put up with it any longer cos its hell,go and get help like i am doing,come on you can do it,if i can you can too cos i no that i am as bad or worse then you trust me

all the best i hope you will do what i just said as i think its the only way possible to get over it somehow ;) if you wont you can pm me and ask me how it went and what it was like, i am thinking maybe it mite not be as bad as i keep think after all, i dunno yet :unsure:
 
B

Bella1

New member
Joined
Aug 7, 2009
Messages
1
I have just read this and you sound so like me. I am getting worse and just don't know what to do anymore. I feel terrible. The door goes and am I am sat with the kids telling them to be quiet. I don't want to put this on them and just think everyone would be better without me as I bring them down. The only person who knows I have this is my partner and he is not supportive at all. I just don't think he gets any of this, neither do I really but it has been my life for so long that I don't know whats normal anymore. I think its getting worse as the kids get older and are less reliant on me, I dread the day they don't need me to take them to school etc as I will just sit here all day with my stomach in knots. Don't know why I dread it though as I am now so self absorbed and selfish, I sit on the laptop all day and find it really difficult to give the kids my attention. See what I mean about selfish, I have now totally gone away from the topic! Just wanted to say your not the only one really. :(
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
im the same as all above, yet i do choose not to do somethings, phones are the devil and i rarely answer the door to many people (how dare they knock on it to start off with, as didnt ask them to) i have many avoidant behaviours but kind of put them in order now to what i want and dont want.

im having CBT and learning :p how to leave an answer machine message lol, so simple yet soo hard.

avoiding answering the door depends on my mood, i have also hidden in panic, other days i answer and will chat and other days like i said i get P*ss off for them calling. even avoided the neighbours and do like them :unsure:

i have no problem talking to strangers one to one, people i know i have the problem with, as if i screw up or make a fool of myself i think they are recalling what i said or did and i get paranoid about it.

@ bella- your not selfish, dont be too hard on yourself. its something you are going through at the moment. we put ourselves down enough :hug:
 
bluenomore

bluenomore

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2009
Messages
5,532
Hi twinkletoes,

Like others who have replied, I also suffer from depression and anxiety. Pretty much everything you and everyone else describe, applies to me also.

It's great that you've plucked up the courage to speak to a doctor. I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think it will. That's part of anxiety I think. We tend to start projecting our anxiety until it manifests into something enormous.

As a message of hope, my depression has started to lift for the first time in over a year. Things can and do get better. Now that you're seeking help, you're on the right path to feeling well again.
 
manicmama79

manicmama79

Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2009
Messages
5
Location
Ohio
Hi Twinkletoes! I'm pretty new here too. I can relate to a lot similar things as you, especially about not answering the door. I'm very paranoid about that. Luckily medication has helped me a lot. It does sound like you may have some social anxiety like you mentioned since you like being alone. It is great that you are taking that step of going to see a doctor :)
 
A

Anastassia Florine

Active member
Joined
Jun 15, 2009
Messages
30
Twinkletoes, my postpartum depression was like yours; I wasn't, and am still not, sure if it was depression or anxiety! I was terrified of my boyfriend and his mother. I was terrified because I knew they expected me to be helping them (!) look after the baby and doing housework when I wasn't doing that. But all I did was lie on the floor, and once I tried to run away and be homeless until I could panhandle enough money to get back to my native country where I could get a job and an apartment, or rather, continue a scam I'd been running on people before because I was too lazy to (or couldn't) work on a boss's schedule and take orders from someone else, and the scam made me more in a day than I would make at Tim Horton's in a week anywayz... I'm doing a bit better now, but still resentful of my bf and his mother... though they said they understood that I had PPD and that it was nothing to be ashamed of and my bf kept taking me back to my shrink to fix my cocktail of meds, they kept pushing me to do things and I just wasn't ready. They acted resentful when I didn't appear to be "trying".
 
S

shywolf

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 17, 2009
Messages
51
Location
hamilton scotland
i went out for food for the first time in 5 days a short journey 2 the shop as i enterd i felt my face getting hot and red and although cold outside i was sweating heavily and my shirt was soaking wet with big patches of sweat i guess what i have is depression ande anxiety my pysciatric nurse told me the 2 go hand in hand:confused:
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
Yeah my doc told me they go together as well. He said that although often people have depression without anxiety, it's quite rare for people to have the anxiety without depression.

Twinkletoes, I hate using the phone too, to anyone, not just to people I don't know, and even more so now I'm not so well. I don't like going out anywhere where I might see people I know these days, and haven't actually been out of the house without my hubby for nearly 6 weeks.

I don't like going to social things either, though I really crave people and friendship, which I get a certain amount of through my musical activities (but even going to them is hard at the moment).
 
K

Kristina00

New member
Joined
Oct 29, 2009
Messages
2
Depression and Anxiety is related

evenmore I think the low self-esteem should be included as well. So I also decided to write the blog about it, ir oder to help for myself. If you are interested in it you type http://epsychologist.wordpress.com/, just I think that we should be more open and try put put effort in order to solve the problem :grouphug::)
 
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