Depression & new relationships.

[CT32]

I am suffering with depression however it’s not the same as how I’ve felt before. This time I feel so fed up with the people around me. A few months ago I got into a new relationship and over the past few weeks I have been really suffering with my mental health. I want to be on my own, I don’t want my partner to be around because everything he does is irritating me. I don’t even know if I want to be in the relationship or if that is just my depression trying to isolate me. I find that he is too much and I feel like I’m suffocating, I don’t know what to do.

 

[jajingna]

Welcome to the forum. Guess it would be good to let him know what you're experiencing, sounds like you need some space and time to get well.

 

[bpd2020]

Hello and welcome to the forum. Maybe you are not ready for a relationship right now. I can understand needing to focus on your mental well being.

 

[CT32]

Thank you.
I worry that maybe I am not ready as I was not long out of a very unhealthy relationship before I got into another one. At the beginning of the relationship I was fine, however now I worry that I didn’t give myself enough time to process and realise I am not the same person I was. I don’t want to feel the added pressure of reassuring my insecure partner all the time when I am struggling to find the energy to do things for myself. Does this make me a bad person?

 

[bpd2020]

Not at all. You are a wise person. Not a bad person. It does take time to heal from a previous relationship.

 

[OCDguy]

I think it's important to remember relationships are a two-way street. If your partner isn't aware of what is going on they might blame themselves for a failed relationship etc. Who's to say this new relationship in time won't be the making of you, or blossom into something really beautiful and worthwhile. As difficult as it is I think communication is key for understanding and progression etc...

 

[CT32]

Thank you, I appreciate this. I think perhaps it was difficult to understand how my feelings might impact my partner without communicating properly how I feel. I have since had a conversation with my partner explaining that I need some time and for the relationship to slow down a little while I try and get better. And that what I need first is a friend, I feel a little better about the situation now I have opened up to him.