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Depression/low

A

aero89

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It's hard to notice the warning signs sometimes when it starts happening. I ignore it and get busier. It's the little things which I don't really acknowledge until my mood is already dropping.

These are some of mine...

-Anger/criticism/irritability towards others (initially its mostly internal voices saying really nasty things about others and sending them ill wishes)
- self criticism increases
-Less interest in making meals
-Eating my meals in my bedroom
- starting to isolate myself
-Comfort eating food which I knows bloats me
- messing with my sleep (staying up late and staying in bed in the morning)
- too much reading about mental health
- hopelessness about future.

It's no a full blown depression. A period of low mood where I give up

Today I started a petty argument at volunteering with another volunteer about nothing. She was in the right and I didn't see the bigger picture. I think may have intimidate or upset her. Other people witnessed it. It's my 2nd time volunteering and I feel like a massive a-hole.

Right now I feel rubbish. I want to cause arguments in my family and with my flatmates. I am irritable.

Its like I want to withdraw from the world and set everything alight around me. And watch it burn. Make others suffer.

My situation and circumstances are very good relative to others. I have a home, benefits and I am not living alone. I am Accessing therapy.

But i still feel hopeless about life and my future. Not suicidal right now.

I can't sleep properly at the moment.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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I can relate to some things you mentioned. Been pretty low myself the past week.
 
A

aero89

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Sorry to hear that @jajingna. Thanks for replying

When did you notice that you were starting to feel low ?

What are your warning signs?

What helps you get back up?
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Guess a week ago started noticing mood was low, been having lots of anxiety, then some depressed mood came along, sorta comes and goes, have had some poor sleeps, loss of interest in some things, basic stuff that's usually simple feeling like more of a chore than usual

Have had idea to see a doctor. Would just mean going back to Zoloft -- took lots of that since a long time back. Keep hoping for better days, a bad week is not extreme, but don't want the coming week to be even worse.
 
S

StillDepressed

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I'm also in a similar position, my mood has been dropping slowly for the past couple of months and can relate to what you are saying. Lithium is doing it's job and preventing me going into crisis.

Luckily I avoid others so I don't cause arguments.
As I can't be bothered making meals, I get a drive thru and eat in my car, but other than that very similar to the points you are making.

I'm thinking about writing to my Doctor to get my antidepressant changed, maybe you should try the same

Anyway I hope you and jajingna both pick up soon.
 
B

Blackwolf

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What do you do when you hit that low?
I currently have no motivation to get out of bed.
I m sleeping as much as i can. I dont have energy to prepare meals. I even dont have energy to do things i liked. I feel like im falling into another low low and cant do nothing about it. Im trying but things that used to work no longer help
 
S

StillDepressed

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Luckily I still have to go to work - I can't take a day off sick for Mental Health because the last time I did, I ended up quitting and went 21 months without working including 10 months without leaving the house.

I can't go back there again, so I have to get up (at least 5 days a week) and just keep on going. I notice each time I go really low the same thing doesn't work to get me out of it, you just have to keep trying different things(as hard as that is) and keep going.

Good Luck and I hope you feel better soon
 
B

Blackwolf

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Im scared, because i have a history of hitting lows. First time when i was 16/17 i ended up not leaving house for over half a year, feeling awful. Then i was homeschooled untill the end of school. Later when i was 20, i dropped off college and ended up in a hospital, after i was jobless for a year. And now im 22 was good for a year now, i had a job for few months and now i feel it. This feeling when you know it is not another worse mood but you are falling lower. Im scared of it.
 
S

StillDepressed

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It is scary, knowing you are falling and unable to prevent it.

I'm on Lithium which is a mood stabilizer that prevents me dropping too low these days (hopefully it's been 15 months, still get lows, but nowhere near as bad as it almost feels like I can feel a floor under me).

I would start with whatever helped you out of the low last time, seek help from a Doctor/Therapy as early as possible because you know you don't want to drop that low again.

Good Luck and hope you can prevent yourself falling too far
 
A

aero89

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It's reassuring to hear other people feeling in a similar place. Obviously I'd prefer none of us feel the way we do. But I think lots can be gained by sharing. Ultimately different things work for different people.

What support do you all have? professional and personal?
 
B

Blackwolf

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I have psychiatrist, sometimes a therapist but i cant afford it too often and im on meds, venlafaxine and mood stabilizers.
 
S

StillDepressed

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Professional :

I'm on Meds and have yet another Therapy referral next week, but on the whole the NHS don't care unless you are stood on a bridge!

Personal

Partner - Although they don't really understand so I don't talk to them about it, they are at least there

Mum - She was a rock when I was at my worst, but in recent years she is struggling and so I can't burden her any more

Sister - On the whole we agree not to talk about, but we both have similar diagnoses so sometimes we can compare notes on Meds,
 
jajingna

jajingna

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What support do you all have?
Not much. I live with two of my brothers, three of us cramped in a small house. Barely say a word to one who totally keeps to himself. But I do much the same. It's awkward really. Have a few words here and there with the other bro. No serious talk. I guess some days I talk to no one, or maybe those few words at the shop. Getting a walk helps a bit, just to get out of the house. And I might see a doctor soon but that would really be just to get a prescription.
 
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