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Depression grips my every hour.

U

Umbria

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2013
Messages
50
Hi,

I'm stuck. Severely depressed, not on any meds, seeing a psychologist fortnightly, working, being a dad and that's it really.

I've tried many meds, citalopram, seroxat, flouroxetine, trazadone, none have done any good whatsoever.

I find no joy in anything and am constantly anxious, having thoughts that i just simply don't want to go on living basically.

Live on my own and have an ex who uses me as a distraction. she texts me everyday, we meet up for coffee occasionally and that's it. I love her, but she has a very difficult son, which means she wont let me go to her home. i feel like a dirty secret and am being used, but am not strong enough to face her with my grievances, as with living alone in my early forties, i get lonely and see her as company i guess.

Scared to try any meds now, as they really screwed with me mentally and physically. Don't know what to do or where to turn anymore, any advice would be much appreciated, many thanks for reading.
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

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Dec 21, 2012
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Am sorry you are feeling so bad. Is the psychologist trying to help with your depression and anxiety? How long have you been seeing the psychologist for?
 
U

Umbria

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2013
Messages
50
I've been seeing her for over a year now and have to say, it doesn't really help.

I am in a job, where i took a third paycut and am just managing, only just though. Just feel not worthy of anyone or anything. Feel embarrassed in my job!
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

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Do you get any other support apart from the psychologist? Have you considered a different form of therapy, CBT or counselling for example?

Am sorry you are feeling so low.I have taken a lot of diff meds too and felt liitle or no effect and tried to manage without them for a while but am now back on them again

Hopefully other people on here will have more helpful things to say
 
H

HORUS

Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2014
Messages
11
Might not help at all but computer games when I play il2 cliffs of Dover with my online squadron I don't feel lonely same when I play battlefield it's the only thing that is keeping me hanging on that and oculus rift it might help I know you think computer games are for kids but you will be surprised by how many people my and your age groups play
 
U

Umbria

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Joined
Apr 23, 2013
Messages
50
Thank you, it doesn't help to be honest, but your words are appreciated. Went to the docs today, he's gave me a prescription for an AD i can't remember the name of!! I've tried Citalopram, Flouroxetine, Seroxat, Trazadone and the worst by far, Mirtazapine, took me 4 days to recover from that one. So, as you can gather, I'm v apprehensive about starting this new one, but as the doc said, what choice do I have? I don't want to be here anymore, I exist and feel joy in nothing anymore. Life changes, boy did I go for it this year, trying to change the variables that affect our state of mind, moved house, tried to end it with my friend/user and changed jobs twice...none worked, I've backfired bigstyle and am suffering the consequences tenfold.
 
V

voyager

Guest
Clomipramine helped for me, it's a tricyclic anti-depressant. I found Prozac, and other SSRI's made me worse.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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Nov 25, 2014
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Exercise is supposed to be good. I like walking as its excess able and I find remote places so the chances of their being others there are slim. Im just getting to grips with mirt lol its certainly not helped my depression but I sleep better and too have changed jobs in the hopes I'll finally enjoy my job again. Its just frustrating how long ADs take to work if they even blumin do that! Good luck with your new meds and yeah give walking a go :)
 
U

Umbria

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2013
Messages
50
Thanks for the replies.

Trazadone for 3 days now, just gives you night time spins and heavy mornings.

Slowly exiting from my friend gf now, didn't see her today, thought she'd ask to meet, but she didn't...on the peripheral, not allowed at her house makes me feel like a second class citizen and a mug! I love her, but it's like I know it's going to end, we're going to stop this text contact soon...it's like I'm standing on a cliff and I know damned well i'm going to fall very soon...I hate this life, hate it.
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

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Dec 21, 2012
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If you are taking new anti d you probably know this but you need to be patient, they can take a while to help you feel a bit better. So hope you do feel a bit better soon. Keep posting here
 
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