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Depression escapism

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DepressedTransGirl

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Dec 28, 2019
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Netherlands
Grieve

My world caved in 2 weeks ago, after i heard that both my grandmother (65) as well as my great grandmother (87) died due to COIVD-19. The rational part of my brain knows that they're no longer here...but my grandmother's no longer being here feels so unreal.
They have been here my entire life (25) and now they're gone...POOF! just like that. It feels so strange...it's like looking at the sky at night and all of sudden the moon is no longer there, gone just like that while it's been there your whole life.

As you can imagine i'm grieving and it's hard. I'm not sleeping nor eating well enough, i cry when thinking of them and feel restless and very irritable through out the day. Apart from allowing myself to grieve, i also try to distract myself by escaping into something that brings me comfort.

Escapism

Apart from allowing myself to grieve, i also try to distract myself by escaping into something that brings me comfort. These last 2 weeks i have been diving nose deep into mathematics (my hobby). I created a formula that surprisingly works to help solve triangular numbers

1629580582923.png

The triangles in triangular numbers manifest from adding natural numbers in the pattern ''1+2+3...(and so on)''. If you were to express those numbers in shapes like the picture above starting with 1 black dot, then adding +2 dots underneath would get you 3 dots total and then add +3 dots underneath the previous 3 dots gets you 6 dots and so on.

Counting would be exhausting if you had to solve for triangular number ''100'' (all the numbers from 1 to 100 added on to each other) so i came up with the formula ''N'' is the number ''TN'' is triangular number. N> + N = 100, N> x TN = 5050 dots in triangular numbers 100. To see what that would look like with a smaller triangular number for example triangular number ''5'' = N> + N = 5, N> X TN = 15...counting to check it 1+2+3+4+5 is 15

Doing this is a way for me to temporarily escape into the abstract world of mathematics...away from the world of grieve and depression. What is your escape?
 
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hairybanana

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I’m sorry for your loss. You lost me with the triangles, math wasn’t my strong suit, especiallly not at 8am haha

Glad you have found something to help you cope during this time
 
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DepressedTransGirl

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I’m sorry for your loss. You lost me with the triangles, math wasn’t my strong suit, especiallly not at 8am haha

Glad you have found something to help you cope during this time
Thank you for your condolences! Haha understandable, 8am is too early for math.
 
W

will riker

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Aug 21, 2021
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waxhaw
Don't give up when dark times come. video games, books, tv, bath.

sorry buddy
 
S

Sonny Lawson

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Aug 10, 2021
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Wisconsin
That numbers thing is interesting. You must be really smart. I distract myself with my acoustic guitar. There is mathmatics involved in learning to play an instrument. I hope your grief subsides soon.
 
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Here Comes The Sun

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Aug 22, 2021
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Sussex
All I can say, that time is a good healer after that double whammy shock. You have an intellectual brain, I have a job counting to ten ! . I took up photography when my parents died and its helped though out my insomnia and addiction battles .
 
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DepressedTransGirl

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That numbers thing is interesting. You must be really smart. I distract myself with my acoustic guitar. There is mathmatics involved in learning to play an instrument. I hope your grief subsides soon.
Ah cool! i also play guitar. Music helps me grief as well
 
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DepressedTransGirl

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All I can say, that time is a good healer after that double whammy shock. You have an intellectual brain, I have a job counting to ten ! . I took up photography when my parents died and its helped though out my insomnia and addiction battles .
Yes definitely with time the pain will ease and i can learn to live with it. Glad you also managed to find something that brought you comfort! I'm hoping my insomnia will go away soon..it's fueling my depression like crazy.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
Dear @DepressedTransGirl,
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is very sad and it must be unbearable for you.

Concerning how to sum the numbers from 1 to n, the formula is n(n+1) / 2.

The solution was conceived by Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), recognized as being one of the greatest mathematicians of all time. The most well-known story is a tale from when Gauss was still in primary school. One day Gauss' teacher asked his class to add together all the numbers from 1 to 100, assuming that this task would occupy them for quite a while. He was shocked when young Gauss, after a few seconds thought, wrote down the answer 5050. The teacher couldn't understand how his pupil had calculated the sum so quickly in his head, but the eight year old Gauss pointed out that the problem was actually quite simple. He had added the numbers in pairs - the first and the last, the second and the second to last and so on, observing that 1+100=101, 2+99=101, 3+98=101, ...so the total would be 50 lots of 101, which is 5050.
 
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DepressedTransGirl

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Netherlands
Dear @DepressedTransGirl,
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is very sad and it must be unbearable for you.

Concerning how to sum the numbers from 1 to n, the formula is n(n+1) / 2.

The solution was conceived by Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), recognized as being one of the greatest mathematicians of all time. The most well-known story is a tale from when Gauss was still in primary school. One day Gauss' teacher asked his class to add together all the numbers from 1 to 100, assuming that this task would occupy them for quite a while. He was shocked when young Gauss, after a few seconds thought, wrote down the answer 5050. The teacher couldn't understand how his pupil had calculated the sum so quickly in his head, but the eight year old Gauss pointed out that the problem was actually quite simple. He had added the numbers in pairs - the first and the last, the second and the second to last and so on, observing that 1+100=101, 2+99=101, 3+98=101, ...so the total would be 50 lots of 101, which is 5050.
Thank you for your condolences! I try and cope through hobby's as best as i can.

That was a solid observation from the young Carl Friedrich! I love it how a formula can be so different but still reach the same solution. For me i noticed the multiplication factor by dividing for example TN15 = 120 dots/TN15 = 8 (8 is the multiplication factor). And 8x15 = 120. So i knew if i had a solid method i could always find the multiplication factor. Then i came up with N> + N = 15,= 120 (''N>'' always becomes the multiplication factor) then 8 x TN15 = 120. for TN100 the multiplication factor would be ''50,5'' x TN100 = 5050
 
Keesha

Keesha

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So sorry for your loss. The way you explained your loss was very heartfelt. They were like the stars and the moon; always there.

You must be a math genius.
I’m useless at it. When I’m grieving a loss, it’s music I indulge myself in.
 
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DepressedTransGirl

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Dec 28, 2019
Messages
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Netherlands
So sorry for your loss. The way you explained your loss was very heartfelt. They were like the stars and the moon; always there.

You must be a math genius.
I’m useless at it. When I’m grieving a loss, it’s music I indulge myself in.
Thank you for your condolences Keesha!

It's harder on some days than others, but i try to keep myself busy with mathematics, memory games and physical exercise. Music helps me too especially when im really sad or angry.
 
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