Depression? Anxiety?

[Dee1973]

I'm looking for a bit of advice and considering making an appointment with my doctor. I'm feeling life in general is a complete struggle just now, i'm a working single mum although have a great boyfriend who treats me like a princess, however i'm struggling financially (as i'm sure a lot of people are), my dad was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and i just seem to spend a lot of time obsessing about death even though i'm only 35 and this can sometimes result in a tight chest and feelings of heat in my chest. I usually drink a bottle of wine every night as it seems to numb the feelings for a bit but then i feel rubbish the next day. I wouldn't say i'm an alcoholic but i am most definately alcohol dependant and usually at weekends if i over indulge i have sometimes seen me sitting with pills laid out on the table although too scared to take them but the thought is sometimes there. I want to know what a doctor is likely to do if i explain all this, will he prescribe medication, will he make me speak to a counsellor, will he sign me off work. Any advice appreciated...

 

[Dollit]

The only way to know how a doctor is going to treat you is to actually talk to the doctor. A doctor can't make you do anything just give advice and recommendations based on their experience. If the doctor knows how much you are drinking and why they will, likely as not, recommend that you cut down. If you were prescribed medication you would probably be advised not to drink.

There isn't anyone on this forum who, even if they were qualified, can confirm a diagnosis or give you one. That can only come from a doctor.

Having a family member with cancer can be a much greater stress on the family than most people realise. I found it very difficult to cope when my dad was dying. But please realise that alcohol doesn't help and in the long run it will only make matters worse. I wasn't an alcoholic either (or so I said) but I was dependent on alcohol and, as was pointed out to me at my first AA meeting, that's actually a pretty good definition of someone who, if they aren't a alcoholic now, will be pretty damn soon.

And welcome to the forum!

 

[Dee1973]

Thank you for your advice, was much appreciated. I'm going to make an appointment with the doctor tomorrow, i confided in a friend today at lunch who also advised the same. Hopefully there will be light at the end of the tunnel for me soon and can get my life back on track

 

[honeyquince]

Good luck with the Docs, as you say this could be the start of things improving in your life! Welcome to the forum as well!

 

[KP1]

welcome to the forum Dee. I definately understand the drinking wine bit to tey asnd blot things out for a little while. But if you are feeling this low confiding in your GP is a good start.
KP

 

[Twylight]

Hello Dee and welcome to the forum

 

[ms_P]

Hi Dee. How's your progress?

 

[BadBuddha]

Try AA?

A problem with alcohol is about your relationship with it, rather than the amount you drink. A bottle of wine a day is too much if you're using it to block out negative thoughts and it's likely to increase (I was up to 3 bottles of vodka a day 15 years ago and only dried out by going to 100 AA meetings in 100 days!). Also, there is nothing that alcohol makes better!
There's a zen saying, "Look the tiger in the eye." We all have a fear of death built in to stop us doing stupid things, but we also have an irrational craving for fat, sugar and salt from the days when these were hard to find. I used to have a similar fear of death and this is how I talked myself out of it.

 

[quality factor]

Hi Dee and
Good move about seeing your doctor.
It's best to try and get this thing sorted now before
it turns in to more of a crisis,

 

[Dollit]

Bad Buddha - a bottle of wine a day is too much no matter what the relationship you have with it! That amount of alcohol is a killer. But not all heavy drinkers become alcoholics, I know plenty of people who aren't. Equally I know plenty of people who are and not everybody gets to AA or gets sober. That's one of the saddest facts of life.

What is important is recognizing why you drink and what you can do to change that and I think Dee has a good grasp on that.

 

[trainwreck]

ill

i dont no about a bottle of wine a day is to much try telling the french , baby your on a downer an beating yourself up. there is things going off in your life at the minute bad things , its life but it can an does make you ill sometimes , the doc may just chat an make you feel more upbeat, you may need anti depressants if he thinks its whats needed , your in a mini crisis in your head so see the doc an make a start at getting better.xx

 

[Dollit]

A bottle of wine (75 cl) contains 9 units of alcohol. Women should drink no more than 3 units a day and no more than 14 units a week. A bottle a day adds up to 63 units a week which exceeds the recommended weekly amount 49 units. Get some facts before posting TW!

 

[trainwreck]

french

i no the facts very well thanks. after 10 loz an a bottle of brandy a day at one time. not now may i add,that was a fact the french look on wine in a very different manner to us . im not saying its right,jesus you should no what i was saying . listen to this if i could get rid of all my meds hospital dramas , cbt therapy an so on an just be on 1 bottle of wine a day , bring it on.

 

[Dollit]

im not saying its right,jesus you should no what i was saying

Why should I know what you were saying? I'm sorry for not knowing that there was a back message but I made the reply I made because it looks as though you were advocating alcohol as a legitimate solution.

 

[trainwreck]

getting it

dont just dive in with a reply without looking at the context, you did the same with class a drugs ,totally missing any points made .of course she should watch her drinking an be carful. but we dont have to frighten people to bits .if you have no meds an are in trouble, what do we do were scared an frightened so we self medicate an drink is the one people use its a fact .she noes she is drinking to much thats why she is looking for help,9 out of ten people who are in trouble would do as she did an hope it goes away , she now noes it wont so she is getting help.dont frighten people with how many units an shit she noes all that, she dont need us to tell her just help her. good luck dee .