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Depression, Anxiety, or OCD? help

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OGpano

Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2018
Messages
9
Location
Macedonia
Hey guys, I'm new here and this is my first post. I'm a 21 year old guy who grew up in Canada and moved to Macedonia (where my parents are from) when i was 12. Been here in Macedonia ever since. When I moved here my parents had a lot of money and I was the new kid and girls liked me a lot. was bullied from the guys but i didnt care too much. So i got to high school and started doing weed, and drinking with friends. broke up with my girlfriend and was depressed for like 5 months after that in my senior year. I was on xanax. I have quit weed and alcohol for good. Haven't smoked weed in 3 years, and I occasionally drink a beer or two in a party or a social gathering. I am in college now, studying e-business even though I still live with my parents, have my own room and everything, I am half way done with college. But my problem is that ever since I quit weed I have been kinda lonely, the rest of my friends all do weed most of the time and some even moved to heavier stuff. So here is where my problem is:

For the last seven months I have become really anxious and have been on lexapro for the last seven months. I don't think I'm really depressed, but I get depressed because I don't have much to do other than college. I wanna move back to Canada as soon as I am done with my college. I have been getting anxiety attacks. kinda weird because I think I also have OCD. when I was younger I would think that I would become gay and it scared the hell out of me. But I've gotten over that, this time I'm scared I will go crazy and lose control, kill someone or kill myself, even though I know I won't. I'm not suicidal I have never self harmed. I like life, but these thoughts are annoying and are starting to interfere with my life. I went to a psychologist who is really nice and she said that Its the environment and me not fitting in, and that I am healthy. But can anyone tell me anything good please, I'm kinda lonely. Thank you :)
 
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V

violetmarisa

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 12, 2017
Messages
102
were you having negative effects from smoking weed? I use it more as anxiety management than a social thing and it helps me a lot.
 
O

OGpano

Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2018
Messages
9
Location
Macedonia
well sometimes i would just laugh a lot, but i would get paranoid sometimes aswell, and when i broke up with my girlfriend i hit rock bottom, i quit weed then, and havent touched it again, im on lexapro atm, but what do you think its from the weed or ocd? or maybe im just depressed?
 
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la femme folle

Guest
It sounds a bit like intrusive thoughts which are part of OCD. The gay thoughts when you were younger were probably the same thing.

Do these kinds of thoughts appear when you are more stressed or in a situation that makes you more anxious? It could be related to that but is probably a form of OCD.

Best wishes. :hug5:
 
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OGpano

Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2018
Messages
9
Location
Macedonia
yea i guess its a form of ocd, is it dangerous? could i lose control? or is it just my mind playing tricks on me, what do you think?
 
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la femme folle

Guest
I think it is your mind playing tricks on you. How do you feel when you get the thoughts? Disgust? Or are the thoughts pleasing? They obviously worry you so I would think you are horrified by the thoughts. So I would say it is definitely OCD. You won't act on them but because you are so horrified by them they play on your mind. You should try mindfulness with this, there is a section about it on the forum.

:hug5:
 
O

OGpano

Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2018
Messages
9
Location
Macedonia
Thank you so much, you've been helpful, so I should just let these thoughts come and go and not worry about them right?
 
L

la femme folle

Guest
Yeah, the less attention you pay to them, the less power you give them over you, and the less anxiety you will feel. They should subside in time. If you know how you got over the 'gay' thoughts you could get over these the same way.

Good luck. :hug5:
 
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Bogomil

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 2, 2018
Messages
484
Hi, O.! Diagnostics are for sure only if put by a professional. Try not to make self-diagnosis or believe internet based medicine, as will do you more harm and for sure no good. What you described is whirling of thoughts, people have a lot of thoughts, not necessarily one have to pay attention to all of them. Some of your thoughts might came from the weed. If you want to make sure about your mental health, how it would be to take into consideration what your doctor said, that you are healthy and if still in doubt, to ask for a second opinion? About the gay thing: if you fear this thing, most probably you are not gay and you will not become one.
Last, but not least, friends when you have money or come together only do to weed are not friends. The test will come when you will be in need - try to see how many of them will really help you. Try to find people with the same interests as you have, except, of course, drugs, alcohol or other stuff ilegal or dangerous and you will see that you will feel better. Stay safe!
 
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OGpano

Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2018
Messages
9
Location
Macedonia
Do you think my sitiuation is dangerous? I also live in a small city where everyone knows me and some people think im wierd. Ill try not to pay attention to the thoughts that are not resourceful.
 
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Bogomil

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 2, 2018
Messages
484
I cannot assess if your situation is dangerous or not. If you feel that you are in danger, please address for help to whom can help you.

People who might think you are weird: don't pay attention to them. One cannot control what other people are thinking and if you live by other people's opinion, it is not what it would be called a wise way of life. On the other hand, who is not weird in some way?!
 
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OGpano

Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2018
Messages
9
Location
Macedonia
guess you are right, i shouldnt worry what others think of me, ill try to to accomplish that. Everyone is weird in their own way.
 
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