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Depression, anxiety, agorophobia, family issues? Anyone?

O

optimist

Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2015
Messages
7
Hi,

I don't really know where to start or how to introduce myself. So I don't know for sure how I can start speaking about how I feel....

I've had a lot go on in my life, I came out of an abusive relationship a few years ago, my relationship with my mother deteriorated and she supported the ex partner and made me out to be the abusive one.

During this relationship, I was given a dog and she decided to steal her away from me. Eventually, one Friday night whilst she was out I packed all my belongings into my car and left, also taking the dog. I was made to feel incredibly guilty, even though I'd done everything in my power to look after her, she was never neglected by me, I paid her vet bills and for food etc. My mothers mood would never be consistent, one day she could be fine and the next she could be making my life hell and yelling insults, if I left the house (at age 22 this was), she would get into a rage and I would come home the next day to my room trashed.

She's also married to a man who was abusive towards both her and myself and she continues to stand by him whilst painting a picture of me that is less than favourable to other people and family members.

What I'm trying to convey is that this entire experience has left me utterly bereft, I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 17, sent for counselling and eventually I had a really good couple of years on and off.

I've been back and forth to my GP numerous times, first Fluoxetine then Citalopram and now Mirtazapine coupled with Propranalol.

I really hope I don't offend anybody in case they think I've joined the wrong website or said too much in my first post. I've just HAD to find someone who I can talk to, I'm worried I'll never feel normal.

I find going out extremely difficult and sometimes wait until it is dark before I leave the house. The medication has made me put on weight, thus exacerbating my condition further. I drink way too much alcohol, however I don't drink during the day.

If anyone has anything to contribute, I'd be grateful and I'm also more than happy to try and contribute toward anything else people have to say.

Many thanks.
 

MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,043
Hi and :welcome: to the forum.

You haven't offended anyone at all so please stop worrying about that. I'm glad you got out and hopefully soon things will start to look brighter :)

Marliee x
 
rubyrose

rubyrose

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2013
Messages
1,323
Location
Where flowers bloom
Hello and welcome. Sorry to hear about the negative experiences you've faced. I hope you find this forum a friendly, helpful, safe place. :)
 
AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 25, 2012
Messages
15,635
Location
UK
:welcome: optimist, like your name :)

Well done for starting to speak here about what's going on for you, I'm sorry you've been through such tough experiences. I hope you'll find this a helpful place to talk about things :peace:
 
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