Depression and venlafaxine

Sine

Sine

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Hi Eternal,

I had to laugh. My daughter is 25. Still like a moody teenager. :mad: Has occasional outbursts of sunshine. :clap:

Love Sine x
 
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eternaljourney

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The tablets or the depression?

I don't know what the hell is going on with me!?

I had a drowsy few days and although I still feel really tired I am going in frantic circles in my head.

Throughout this really bad bout of depression that has been going on for over a year I do get thoughts that people are angry with me and don't like me etc...
But I am now in a real state with it all.
I've lost it 3 times with a very dear friend through text messages, I've stopped my counseling, I've mistrusted my cousin (who I'm really close to) and I'm thinking my doctor wants me to disappear.
I'm finding it so hard to communicate with people because I keep reading so many different meanings to what they are saying to me.
My partner who is very understanding and supportive talks through stuff with me and tries to make me see the rational side of it all but it's getting scary.

Is this a reaction to having venlafaxine taken up from 150-225mg or the depression.
I'm starting to feel anxious and have these negative thoughts about close family too. Like I said I've had this before at times when I'm feeling really low and I'm in a rotten mood but it's like I'm locked in with this.

I'm seeing my doctor a week on Tuesday and I don't want to go any sooner in case I piss her off.
If this is a reaction to my dose change will it get better?
As I'm typing this I'm just thinking it's the tablets...it's the depression...no, people really do hate me and lie to me when they tell me they like me or love me.
I've been horribly let down in my life and sometimes because of a lack of understanding of mental illness.

The thoughts are making me panicky, it's frightening when I suddenly realize that I'm sat here going round and round in my head analyzing every word from people.I keep coming up with an insult or criticism from what they've said.

I don't know what do do???
 
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trainwreck

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velafaxine

it works for you or it dont, its that simple . for me it didnt but it may for you ,it made my hair fall out , i had a bad reaction to it, im ok with the hair now but ven , stick it.:eek:
 
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eternaljourney

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I'm feeling more settled now, I get a bit anxious in the evening but really don't feel as bad. I've also started sleeping better but don't want to speak too soon about that.
My thoughts are more positive and rational at the moment so hopefully it will continue. I'm prepared for any dips but feel I'm turning a corner now.

As for hair falling out I shave my hair anyway. I've been told I'm lucky to suit a skinhead as a woman but I don't think bald patches would look good. Hopefully I'll be ok with this too:scared:
 
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trainwreck

Guest
ok

you sound a cool lady, i would love to see your head shave if your happy with it an it suits you, how do you dress to suit it are you like goth or just yourself.anyway you are a special,that what i call us depressives an the ok people are normals,they just go on a boreing straight path as we go up down an round.ive tried most A.D. on cymbalta now took my self down to 40mg was on 120, no a great drug for anxiety . hospital tommorow or zoo as i call it . may try new drug fancy zoloft or lexapro,an american ill friend told me they are cool.talk again babyx
 
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eternaljourney

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I'm a gay lady so if my skinhead causes whispers in that way that's fine with me.:pI'm not goth or anything but I don't dress to blend in either. How do I describe how I dress!?...I'm not butch, I'm femme but I don't wear dresses...I don't know, hard to explain.

I always think people who don't suffer with depression or other mental illnesses don't get to see life from the extreme perspectives that we do. I think it's also difficult for other people to appreciate how frightening it can be at times too.

I'm going to be having appointments with a psych again soon, I always described it as the 'moon base'.

Eternal X
 
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trainwreck

Guest
Moon base

i like that, comes from old t v U.F.O. when i used to go on one of my famouse loose myself trips i used to get hammered in my stereo room with six larver lamps that was my moon base. it used to get red hot. you went a bit defensive when i talked about your hair , i wasnt takeing the piss i really ment i bet it looks cool sorryxx
 
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eternaljourney

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I am sometimes defensive but it's a bit of a knee jerk reaction sometimes rather than thought out. Thanks for the compliment
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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Hi Eternal,

I totally agree with you on the extreme perspectives thing and wierdly though I hate my depression in some twisted kind of way I wouldn't change my past either as it's shown me things I wouldn't otherwise have seen.

Honey, xx
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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Ps... Eternal,

You asked about why the doc might want you seen by a psych... I think at the higher doses of venlafaxine they are just more wary of side effects. I see my psych every two or three months and nothing has been said about the venlafaxine other than it's the max. dose. However, while I was in Scotland recently on my hols I had to get some more meds and had to go to the local gp's The guy there said that on doses of 300mg or more it's recommended that it's accompanied by supervision of a pdoc. I have seen on some other sites that there is a level of ven. that is toxic but I think this was pretty high and is the same as any other med.

Glad to hear that things are settling down for you (I hope they still are!) and take care.

Honey, xx
 
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eternaljourney

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Hi honey,

Still feeling ok today so hoping it lasts, at least for a little while.
I'm on a short course of sleepers too but not supposed to taker them nightly.

I don't like my depression one bit either but like you think that I wouldn't change the things I've been through with it. I think maybe I just feel I've had to work so hard emotionally and perhaps in some way I have some protection over my struggle. It's definitely part of me and I can't change that.

I'm still waiting to get a letter through about seeing the psych. I've had an ECG to monitor my heart with being on such a high dose of ven. I think now I really want to speak to a psych anyway because my issues are in need of specialist discussion. I get a bit tired of seeing people look at me with a phased look when i try to talk about the twists and turns of my emotions sometimes.

Was Scotland cold and was there any snow? I love snow:)

Love Eternal X
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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Hi there,

I've never had an ECG to check my heart - maybe I just look healthy (not!)!!!

While I have a psych I feel that the person most in tune with the way I am is my psychologist due to an incredible assessment that she did. I'm still in two minds about the effect of her treatment though - I still feel that they are treating the outcome rather than the cause.

Fingers crossed that you continue to feel sort of ok!

Take care,
Honey, xx, :hug::hug:
 
KP1

KP1

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Hi Honey Quince you should be given an ECG if you are on a dose of 225mg or more of venlafaxine.My GPs surgery do them.
KP
 
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eternaljourney

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Hi Honey,

The counsellor I was seeing was trying to do cognitive behavioural therapy with me. I had CBT 12 years ago so I totally understand the concept and appreciate that it can be excellent but I do think it can be pointless without dealing with the underlying stuff.
I had to have a hysterectomy last year and I wanted children and it all led to horrible flash backs of abuse when I was a child. My memories are getting clearer and I'm in the process of working towards going to the police. I've had so many things go wrong one after the other without much let up and I know I just need to talk everything through properly with a professional. I talk with my partner about everything and I do have good people in my life but someone trained to go through everything with me is what I need.
I've found a place locally to get all the help I need and have made email contact initially. So in the new year I'll have an appointment with them and my psych appointment.

Eternal X
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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Hi Eternal,

Sounds like you've had a lot to cope with recently and in the past. My impression of having a professional to talk to is that they can help you to start to get it all into some sort of order or perspective and then to start the process of understanding how you got to where you are today. Hopefully just talking about it and understanding it puts us in a stronger position to manage and cope with the consequences. I've certainly been happier since having a clearer understanding of my past and it has helped me to clarify some of the reasons why I was suffering with depression. I still have depression and some pretty bad times as while I have an understanding of why I'm ill I still have no idea what do to with it now to try and resolve it.

I'm really glad that it sounds like you are starting to get this sorted and I'll have my fingers crossed for you in the new year. Good luck with this and I hope you find it a help. The only other thing I would say (I'll shut up in a moment!) is to really try and keep an eye on how you are doing away from the therapy - your partner and therapist can help with this one. When I was having my first therapy I went downhill really quickly and ended up being suicidal and admitted to hospital.

Take care,
Honey, xx
 
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eternaljourney

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Thanks Honey,

I ended up in being suicidal earlier this year and ended up in hospital twice. the first time I panicked before talking to anyone from the mental health team and left. I couldn't stand being closed in and the second time I just somehow managed to put on a front before I left and didn't say enough to be offered any decent help. This was in the first few months of counselling.
At the moment I need the break from therapy but feel secure with the fact that I'll be getting more support again very soon. I'm expecting a possible dip again when I start properly preparing to get to the police because I'll have to really focus on the past in detail which is scary and sickening.

You don't have to shutup, I really appreciate your advice:)

I'm so tired now today that my body feels like it's being dragged to the floor:sleepy2:. I'm trying to do as much as i possibly can to keep occupied at the moment.

Love Eternal X
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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Wow - sounds like you had a similar experience to me when you first started therapy. The first time I was in hospital I got out relatively quickly and didn't really benefit. It was only on the second and third times that I started to be a bit more honest with myself and them and so started to benefit a bit more. It's interesting that I now see hospital as a realy safe haven (it's saved me from myself a few times now) whereas my friend who has more experience of being sectioned can't stand the place.

Honey, xx
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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Oh, and I think you're incredibly brave going back into your past like you are, I can imagine how it must be painful. I really hope that you will benefit from doing so in some way.

Take care,
Honey, xxxx and here are some hugs... :hug::hug::hug:
 
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eternaljourney

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That's really sweet thanks:flowers:

Talking about disliking the hospital, I don't like any unfamiliar places, any small rooms and places with too many people...there's more but they're my reasons for not liking the hospital...oh and being touched by medical staff which is unavoidable if I'm ill especially physically ill.

Here's a hug for you and a dancing banana! And a smily in a santa hat too :hug: :dance: :santa:

Eternal X
 
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