- Jan 10, 2021
- United States
Two months ago, my husband left me. He came from another country to be with me. Once here, he had begun to insult people on the street, characters in TV shows, my family and friends- with such an earnest hatred that it hurt me deeply to hear each and every time. I begged him to stop every time. He began a pattern of not looking for new jobs, or leaving after a short period. He would start college classes and quit halfway through the semester. All of this without telling me. While I worked and went to school at the same time to support us. He would criticize me and get all surprised if I was upset by this. I made so many excuses for him, claiming depression or other mental health problems and that’s why had become the way he was, even though when I met and dated him abroad, he hasn’t been this way. Towards the end I told him I didn’t like the path we were on and I didn’t see us lasting unless we got professional help. After our first session, he started shutting down. I was going to individual therapy at the time and my therapist stated that the patterns she had been seeing for months indicated that he was likely a narcissist and as soon as someone pointed out his flaws he just wanted to run. Within the next month he told me he didn’t love me anymore, he could only be happy alone, and that he wanted to leave. He finally did after I became so tired of begging him to wait for another session, that we could talk things out- I told him “fine, just go.” I moved back with my parents, we lost our apartment- which I had to deal with almost alone except for the support of my angel mother. A week later he was begging for me to come back. He says that his father’s health had been weighing down on him. His father even ended up passing away a month later. I’m trying to be compassionate, because I loved my father in law a lot and I know how much more he loved his father, but I feel like this is too much. Is it possible this was all depression, or is he a narcissist? Will this keep happening despite himclaiming he will change?