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Depression and misguided actions

J

Jess B

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Joined
Jan 8, 2021
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5
Location
London
Hello. I'm new here as I have been in denial about my state of health for a very long time. In mid-December I acted on a very irrational decision made in a dark time, believing it was the right thing to do. I became suicidal when I realised how wrong I'd been, and I have been diagnosed with depression. I want to know if there's anyone here who has had a similar experience... And if you have come back from it. Right now, I'm aware that I've caused a lot of hurt and I have burned bridges that it may not be possible to rebuild, and I just feel utterly hopeless. Thank you
 
K

karl7

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Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
865
could you fill us in a bit more, i dont really understand
 
J

Jess B

Member
Joined
Jan 8, 2021
Messages
5
Location
London
I cut someone off because I believed they were the cause of my problems... And it was a drastically wrong decision.
 
J

Jess B

Member
Joined
Jan 8, 2021
Messages
5
Location
London
I didn't realise that I'd put this in the dementia forum, won't place
 
calypso

calypso

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Put in depression area for you
 
A_Wilted_Daisy

A_Wilted_Daisy

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Nov 28, 2020
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190
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in a bubble
I've done this for years. Sometimes I push people away and I run off. There isn't always a reason. I've actually done it twice in the last month and I'm thankful that both people allowed me to come back to them. Before, I would walk away and that would be the end of it. I realize now I have to stop doing this. I want lasting friendships with good people. People aren't toys to be abandoned when times are tough or I get bored. All you can do is apologize and explain what happened. I hope the person you hurt will accept you back into their life. But if they don't, try your best to move on and not make the same mistake again. Good luck! 🌷
 
J

Jess B

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Joined
Jan 8, 2021
Messages
5
Location
London
I've done this for years. Sometimes I push people away and I run off. There isn't always a reason. I've actually done it twice in the last month and I'm thankful that both people allowed me to come back to them. Before, I would walk away and that would be the end of it. I realize now I have to stop doing this. I want lasting friendships with good people. People aren't toys to be abandoned when times are tough or I get bored. All you can do is apologize and explain what happened. I hope the person you hurt will accept you back into their life. But if they don't, try your best to move on and not make the same mistake again. Good luck! 🌷
Thank you. This person was a parent figure and I did them a huge wrong... I was totally calm and kind about it but I wrote to them to say I was closing the relationship and my mind was made up. A few weeks later I realised just how wrong I was and became suicidal... That's when I got my diagnosis. I'm on meds now and in counselling but I don't know how I will ever explain this to my family or repair things with them. I am usually so self aware and rational that I was completely sure I was doing the right thing. 😔🤦
 
T

treasurebox

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Messages
397
Location
Philippines
It will be good for you to apologize. If you cannot say it, try to right it down and give it personally to the one you have hurt.

One thing that stopped me from beiing suicidal is thinking what will happen if my suicide is not successful? Then, I might just become a vegetable that is useless. Another this is, my family.

It will be best to forgive yourself because you are not perfect and all people do make mistakes.

Music helps me. Music is therapeutic. Listen to good, uplifting and encouraging music on youtube.

Also, do what you love doing or what you are good at. It will do good to you and make you happy.
 
Barny67

Barny67

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Dec 25, 2020
Messages
308
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Middlesbrough
Hiya Jess, Where all capable of making silly decisions. Don’t you think u’ve beat yourself for long enough.
You made a wrong choice, ppl need time to recover when they’ve been hurt as we all do.
Try not to be so hard on yourself.
 
J

Jess B

Member
Joined
Jan 8, 2021
Messages
5
Location
London
It will be good for you to apologize. If you cannot say it, try to right it down and give it personally to the one you have hurt.

One thing that stopped me from beiing suicidal is thinking what will happen if my suicide is not successful? Then, I might just become a vegetable that is useless. Another this is, my family.

It will be best to forgive yourself because you are not perfect and all people do make mistakes.

Music helps me. Music is therapeutic. Listen to good, uplifting and encouraging music on youtube.

Also, do what you love doing or what you are good at. It will do good to you and make you happy.
Thank you for this advice. I have written some things down and while it's too early to give to the person in question, maybe over the coming weeks I can come back to it now and then before sending it.
 
A

A Celt

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Joined
Jan 10, 2021
Messages
11
Location
Whakatane
Thank you for this advice. I have written some things down and while it's too early to give to the person in question, maybe over the coming weeks I can come back to it now and then before sending it.
Hi, that's a great strategy.
I've found that both my ability to properly express myself, and my understanding of the emotions or motivations I'm trying to discuss can change alot during different stages of being down, getting help, coming back to feeling ok.
If you keep your "drafts" they can also be an insight into your mindset at different times and perhaps help with some self awareness.
 
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