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Depression and its friends

Guy12182

Guy12182

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 23, 2018
Messages
141
Location
Upstate NY
Depression is a debilitating disorder. Depression has many friends such as:
hibernation, social remoteness, numbing of the mind, spirit and reasoning, sadness, anger, frustration and starvation. I'm sure there's many more.
This is what I go through, starvation with severe depression. And I have always been thin all my life since birth. I stand 6'1 and I am below average weight for my height.
When I'm depressed, I restrict my intake. That's how I feel I'll get sicker, go in the hospital and people will take my mental illness seriously. Even though I can always admit during this process I know it's wrong, but I don't have a care in the world at that point. And it's not just looking for attention, it's also because I have given up all hope. I don't want to just exist waiting for my time. The racing thoughts are painful and too sad. I have no emotion, I can not laugh nor cry. I only stare off into space waiting for bad consequences I feel I deserve. I must of did something to really deserve this. Was I too mean to someone or more? Did I just think of my self too much? Was it because the truth hurt others or was it really not the truth? Am I really someone I despise? I'm not sure because it's really not important to understand why I could of done these things, it's really more how can I change the way I feel by changing the way I think. To understand how to cope with depression is to understand the real meaning of depression and all it's friends that try to keep you down and out of the reality of serenity.
Be better for yourself. start with the things that make you happy and content. Keep finding new things to add to that pile or list. That's why I became a fire fighter and EMT. I wanted to help others and change their lives positively and effectively. It gives me great rewards knowing I can help others. It doesn't offer me entitlement, it offers me happiness and opportunities.
Looking forward to helping others on here who suffer with Mental Illness.
Guy~
 
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