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Depression and intrusive thoughts

K

KitKat190

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Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
3
Location
UK
I feel so depressed, so many things have happened this year and I’ve never felt so awful in my life. I’m pretty useless at expressing my thoughts, they are all jumbled up in my head but my head feels like it might explode. I‘ve not slept properly in over a year and I struggle to get out of bed most days. I hardly leave my flat and sit in bed watching tv or films all day and night eating junk food. Some days I can’t be bothered to make proper meals and I only brush my teeth about once or twice a week (I know it’s disgusting and I’m very ashamed but I just can’t make myself do it and I don’t understand why). I don‘t really care about myself and the days just keep repeating themselves over and over.

I‘ve been having a lot of intrusive/hateful thoughts lately and these strong feelings of irritation. I hate this so much but I can’t stop or control them and they are usually about the people I love. I feel so guilty having such nasty thoughts and worry I am an evil person and deserve nothing good in my life. I don’t understand it but I don’t want to be this way anymore. Can depression cause such negative and horrible nasty thoughts? I’ve always had anxiety/worried too much about things and had occasional intrusive thoughts since I was a teenager (in early 30s now) but I used to dismiss them and forget them. But now I get them most days and sometimes I don’t even feel guilty at the time I have them but a while later I will start to think ‘how could you have such a thought‘ and I feel horrible and sometimes upset. I try to ignore them but it’s getting so hard. Can anyone else relate to this?
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
1,323
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
I can relate to having intrusive thoughts. I think a lot of people with depression have intrusive thoughts, and they can be horrible like you say. It is very difficult to stop them, unless you distract yourself and you are so absorbed with what you are doing. But you can only pause intrusive thoughts, not eliminate them completely. You have to remember that the mind is a thought generator, and you can't stop having thoughts. It's like saying you want to know how to stop dreaming.
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
337
Location
Uk
I feel so depressed, so many things have happened this year and I’ve never felt so awful in my life. I’m pretty useless at expressing my thoughts, they are all jumbled up in my head but my head feels like it might explode. I‘ve not slept properly in over a year and I struggle to get out of bed most days. I hardly leave my flat and sit in bed watching tv or films all day and night eating junk food. Some days I can’t be bothered to make proper meals and I only brush my teeth about once or twice a week (I know it’s disgusting and I’m very ashamed but I just can’t make myself do it and I don’t understand why). I don‘t really care about myself and the days just keep repeating themselves over and over.

I‘ve been having a lot of intrusive/hateful thoughts lately and these strong feelings of irritation. I hate this so much but I can’t stop or control them and they are usually about the people I love. I feel so guilty having such nasty thoughts and worry I am an evil person and deserve nothing good in my life. I don’t understand it but I don’t want to be this way anymore. Can depression cause such negative and horrible nasty thoughts? I’ve always had anxiety/worried too much about things and had occasional intrusive thoughts since I was a teenager (in early 30s now) but I used to dismiss them and forget them. But now I get them most days and sometimes I don’t even feel guilty at the time I have them but a while later I will start to think ‘how could you have such a thought‘ and I feel horrible and sometimes upset. I try to ignore them but it’s getting so hard. Can anyone else relate to this?
I completely relate, especially to the guilt after I have had these thoughts but I can’t help it because it’s like they just pop into my head. Be kind to yourself! Have you seen a doctor? X
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
509
Location
Philippines
I can relate. I had negative thoughts every single day before.

What you are feeling and thinking are not permanent. They will pass. You will have better days. Believe it because you were created to be happy and live a good life.

Listening to motivational and uplifting songs on youtube helps me
Music is therapeutic. Listen to it daily or as often as you need to.

What are you good at or love and enjoy doing? Is it cooking, baking, doing arts and crafts? Whatever it is, do it for it will make you happy and even be fulfilled.

Helping somebody will also make you happy and feel worthwhile. Find someone or a group to help. You may volunteer in your community or online. You may coach or teach online.
 
E

EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
533
Location
Orleans vermont.
I can relate in a different way. My mind has a split and my more evil side likes to push its darker thoughts on me, even those I love.
 
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