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Depression and home life

H

Howard48

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Jun 6, 2021
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Hounslow
Hello everyone hope someone can help I have suffered with mental health for a few years now, the last few days have been the most difficult of my life.. I have heart,lung,and bowel problems I am tired all the time because of my crohns.. when I lay down at home the kids are sent in to see what I’m doing, I here the grown ups make comments about me being lazy and I’m not the only person who is ill. My partner aunt stays sometimes and it’s even worse, it me looking after everyone and everyone looking after themselves, no one askes if I’m ok, when I get rushed to hospital with my illness I get told I’m faking it or it’s not serious.. my partner suffers from migraines and has been told by her aunt to lay down and rest. With the kids not being allowed near the room, when it’s me they get sent in to see what I’m doing… my partner’s family seem selfish it’s them looking after them and me looking after means me having to look after them too (24/7).. I just need a stranger to come up to me and give me the biggest hug ever.. I am getting help from cbt but it’s not helping one bit.. I feel mentally drained and like I’m going to cry… before I met the partner I was a rock and never had any problems, now I’m like a mess I don’t wash regularly, I wear the same clothes, I have no money even for a drink when I go out, and the illnesses don’t help either (38y)
 
Jolly

Jolly

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Crowns is very nasty. Welcome 🙏 forum people will be around soon to support. Hug from me
 
Tawny

Tawny

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It sounds like you are in a really bad place right now. I am relieved that you are having CBT as it is at least someone to talk to that is on your side so i would continue with that and once it finishes, ask for more help because there is always support there. You do need support.

I'm sorry the people around you are not sympathetic but don't let their words sink in. Some people like to moan about others and criticise them, maybe they haven't yet experienced depression and if they do one day, it will make them much more sympathetic. Hardships make us kinder to others.

You need to be kind to yourself though. Try to close the door or do something so that you cannot hear their negative comments.

The children want to see how you are? Can you tell them you are not well and so just have a quick hug and off you go?

I know you are not well and suffering but it is really important you get up and wash in the morning and change your clothes, even if in to joggers and tee shirt but something clean.

You need to eat something fresh at regular times and lots of water too. I understand how hard that is but i know it is possible as i have been there. It takes so much energy and strength. Their words have maybe crushed you down so without listening to them, hopefully you can somehow get the strength back.

Fresh air is important too so a short walk outside or standing up the road for a little bit is very important.

Are you taking antidepressants?
 
Tawny

Tawny

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:welcome: too
There are many here going through similar things and so you have come to the right place. We will all try and support you through this.

A colleagues sister has crohns and was very ill, very thing, but she had so much support from her sisters. Life is very different when you have a good support network isn't it. Not all of us are that lucky. Keep going to the doctor for help, that is why they are there.
 
H

Howard48

New member
Joined
Jun 6, 2021
Messages
4
Location
Hounslow
It sounds like you are in a really bad place right now. I am relieved that you are having CBT as it is at least someone to talk to that is on your side so i would continue with that and once it finishes, ask for more help because there is always support there. You do need support.

I'm sorry the people around you are not sympathetic but don't let their words sink in. Some people like to moan about others and criticise them, maybe they haven't yet experienced depression and if they do one day, it will make them much more sympathetic. Hardships make us kinder to others.

You need to be kind to yourself though. Try to close the door or do something so that you cannot hear their negative comments.

The children want to see how you are? Can you tell them you are not well and so just have a quick hug and off you go?

I know you are not well and suffering but it is really important you get up and wash in the morning and change your clothes, even if in to joggers and tee shirt but something clean.

You need to eat something fresh at regular times and lots of water too. I understand how hard that is but i know it is possible as i have been there. It takes so much energy and strength. Their words have maybe crushed you down so without listening to them, hopefully you can somehow get the strength back.

Fresh air is important too so a short walk outside or standing up the road for a little bit is very important.

Are you taking antidepressants?
No meds as my doctor won’t give me them this time even tho I been on them before. I go out for walks but I just think about what it’s going to be like in home when I get back.. the kids don’t understand they are being kids, but when they are sent it to see then it’s deliberate from the adults..
 
H

Howard48

New member
Joined
Jun 6, 2021
Messages
4
Location
Hounslow
:welcome: too
There are many here going through similar things and so you have come to the right place. We will all try and support you through this.

A colleagues sister has crohns and was very ill, very thing, but she had so much support from her sisters. Life is very different when you have a good support network isn't it. Not all of us are that lucky. Keep going to the doctor for help, that is why they are there.
I have to have a operation on my heart in the coming months, and I actually feel guilty getting it done that’s how I have been made to feel, guilt for being ill
 
Tawny

Tawny

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A common symptom in depression is guilt too.

I understand that they are making you feel worse. Do you have anywhere else to go and stay?
 
H

Howard48

New member
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Jun 6, 2021
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Location
Hounslow
A common symptom in depression is guilt too.

I understand that they are making you feel worse. Do you have anywhere else to go and stay?
I can go to my mums. But if I leave I will be stoped from seeing the kids, that’s been mentioned before in a previous argument.. who can I contact now for help I feel low and want to cry it’s a wierd feels like my stomach is empty..
 
M

ManDss

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Apr 22, 2018
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Argentina
I wish to have some words or advice to say , but I dont. Just think if you could do something to stay away from the people who make those nasty comments.

Use common sense and tell them to stop saying all that is an option ? At least try to tell them and see if they stop, be frontal with them. But I imagine get in a fight with them gonna be draining.

Tell al this to your partner ? So can talk to them so they start being nicer, or at least stop with those comments. Or changing schedules so you dont see them so often ?

I would do all posible to make them stay far from you, see what works, even if is something nasty, they deserve it.

Only problem is that even if they are nasty someday can be helpful ? Better bad company than all alone ? Dont know if they are good for something.

Hope something good comes up. Remember, f#ck them. Good luck. Hope you doing better.
 
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