Depression and Dating

R

rushmore

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Joined
Dec 16, 2018
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#1
A few days ago the guy I've been dating for the past 2 months opened up to me about how he's been dealing with depression for several years now, and that over the past couple months its been particularly bad. He told me that was the reason he was bad at responding to texts and talking to me when we weren't together, which I always thought was just due to both of us being very busy with school and work (we're both seniors in college). He also told me that his idea of a relationship was wanting to see and talk to the other person everyday something that he rarely wants to do with anyone, and that because of all this he felt that he shouldn't be in a relationship with me not only because he thought it was unfair for me to "wait around" for him but also because it would make him feel guilty and therefore worse. I tried my best to listen and understand, but I've always been a tad over-emotional so there were some (a good bit) of tears and some weird desperate attempt to bargain with him (I'm a little embarrassed). I personally do not see us continuing to date, mutually supporting one another, as "waiting around", but he didn't agree when I said this. Ultimately we decided on coming back from winter break and trying to be friends, even though we had never been friends in the first place and I'm not sure I can just erase 2 months of feelings. I don't even know what I'm asking for here, advice I guess? I want to support and be there for him, and I'll give being friends an honest try because I still want him in my life, but that feels more like "waiting around" than actually dating him would. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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Jun 13, 2015
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#2
rushmore, in this day and age of instant gratification, young people seem to think a week is eternity. Giving someone space for a week is perfectly natural. It isn't "waiting around". It is actually healthier than being in chronic constant contact.
 

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