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Depression after bereavement

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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
Hi, I feel depressed, it's got a bit better but not sure what things I can do to help with it, it's difficult to stop worrying and relax. My boyfriend died last year, he took his own life and have been having problems with my Dad which I've sorted out as much as possible but it's brought on anxiety around people.

I'm waiting for counselling but there's a long waiting list. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you
 
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Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
1,544
Location
Florida
Everything takes time. Like sorting out things with your dad. I am so very sorry about your boyfriend. This has to be hard on you too. Not sure what happens to people that take their own life. I have been there and know how it feels. Just never followed through with it. Know my prays are with you and it is always harder a year later for bereavement. Hugs and love Jules
 
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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
Thank you @Jules5, it does take time. Sorry you've felt like that. I ought to have looked into counselling earlier but thought I was doing Ok until I had problems with my Dad. I miss him very much, we were together for 10 years. It makes me feel better to think about him than to try not to, have lots of happy memories.
 
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JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
432
Your loss and other ongoing stresses are certainly difficult to cope with. Time does seem to lessen the pain as Jules said. However, there is no easy solution. When a person is prone to depression, these very painful episodes exacerbate the situation. I wish you the best in coping. I have experienced the death of loved ones, it is quite difficult, it remains difficult for me to this day.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,865
Location
England
Hi Sarah,
I'm so very sorry for your loss, my grandad committed suicide. I know how it feels.
Here to talk if you want to, you can also message me.
Hugs
Take care
 
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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
Thank you @Mayflower7, I'm sorry you lost your grandad to suicide. I was going to ask if anyone else had been through it.

The worst thing is feeling guilty about things that I did or didn't do, think I could cope with everything else but I just want some peace of mind. I get a lot of panic about being on my own as well, especially when I wake up or try to get to sleep.

It helped that I have good friends to take my mind off it but feel anxious now around them, hoping it will get better because I don't like to be on my own a lot like I am at the moment.
 
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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
Thank you Midnight, that's really kind and means a lot :hug:
 
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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
Thank you @JCPrasha
 
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Sarabi_Gyarados

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
198
Location
UK
Hi Sarah
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my mother this year to cancer and have fallen into a depression myself. My heart goes out to you losing your boyfriend to suicide.
I am here if you want to talk.
My number one advice is be gentle and kind to yourself.
It is perfectly natural to feel depressed after something like this happens. What else should you feel? Please reach out to us.
 
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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
Hi Sarabi, thank you for your message, it made me feel a bit better yesterday morning. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother, it must be really difficult to cope with.

I'm not very good at being kind to myself, I feel guilty about a lot of things that have happened in the past. I'm hoping to talk with the counsellor about it, know I have to deal with it before I can feel better.

I was doing okay, or thought I was until I went on a family holiday. Since then I've had a lot of anxiety and feel like I've lost connections with friends. I feel stressed a lot of the time as well with trying to keep up with everything that I need to do and wish I'd made more of an effort to slow down and relax, so trying to do more of that.
 
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