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Depressed with a Phobia of taking Medication - Any help would be appreciated more than you'll ever know.

J

Jruck504

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Jul 21, 2020
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Good afternoon, I am a 35 year old male who was diagnosed with depression and anxiety yesterday during my first meeting with a therapist. He prescribed me 10mg of prozac to take daily. If you can, please read my experience and if you have any words of encouragement or help I would greatly appreciate it.


I'll start out by saying I am terrified of taking medication. When I was a teenager, I was heavily into drugs. MDMA, Acid, Pills, etc.. It was when I turned 20 that I had my first panic attack. I thought I took too much hydrocodone and I googled "Can you overdose on hydrocodone" the google results sent me into my first panic attack (which I didnt know at the time). I thought I was dying lol. Ever since then, the thought of taking medication gets my anxiety sky high.

The only medication I have gained enough confidence to take is Indomethacin for my gout flare ups. Even with that, I have to take it right before bed and go to sleep immediately so I don’t have a full blown panic attack. My issue is I am afraid of feeling the medicine "kick in" (which it doesn’t). I guess all of those younger years of taking drugs that do "kick in" and the panic attack I eventually experienced on one of them is why I am so terrified of medicine.

I'm unsure if any of this makes sense or if I am explaining this correctly but I hope someone out there understands what I am going through. Back to the Prozac, I am terrified to take it. I'm worried it will "kick in" and I'll feel high or extremely different as I am always on high alert on how my body feels. I’m scared I’ll feel artificial and this will send me into a downward spiral of anxiety which will cost me my job. I have a wife and a newborn who depend on me so the thought of that scares me.

Thank you if you took the time to read this as I know it’s a lot.
 
B

bpd2020

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May 25, 2020
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Hello and welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear you have anxiety and depression. You have had bad experiences with taking drugs so I can understand your fear of taking medication. How about having therapy to treat your anxiety and depression and in the therapy you can also discuss your fear? I think therapy really helps anxiety and depression. It gets to the root of what causes it.
 
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Nukelavee

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Dec 17, 2019
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London, ON
The down side is that, at some point, you may feel an effect, a negative side-effect. Never taken Prozac, but my anti-depressant put me through noticable effects for a month or so, just enough to feel "off".

The plus side is there's no stark line where it kicks in, and those effects do fade after a month.

Hmmm. I can get why you find it an issue - I've had drug experiences like yours, recreational, where I felt I was more stone than I wanted to be, and it wasn't gonna be over for a while. It can be scary.
 
J

Jruck504

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Jul 21, 2020
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Location
United States
That is certainly a direction I am heading. I left a voice message to a counselor my therapist recommended and am waiting to hear back.
 
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Nukelavee

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Dec 17, 2019
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Also, it's not like a recreational drug addiction - if you don't like how it works, you can taper off and quit.

As others said - it is possible to greatly improve through therapy alone, so I'm glad you are taking that step.

Many people find starting therapy alone terrifying, so, whoot!
 
J

Jruck504

New member
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Jul 21, 2020
Messages
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Location
United States
I did it guys and gals, I mustered up the confidence to take it about 10 minutes ago. Bring on the anxiety lol
 
B

bpd2020

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May 25, 2020
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Well done! That is such a brave thing to do. To push yourself despite having a phobia is so courageous. I really hope it helps you.
 
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