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Depressed, love-sick and hungover.

MrBond007

MrBond007

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 16, 2020
Messages
89
Location
England
Okay so, this is a slight follow up to a previous thread from a couple months ago, which is a follow up to yet another thread I wrote. You don't have to read all of it, I just figured it would make the context a little clearer: Rejection advice?

Now ever since I have asked this girl out and I was rejected. Things pretty much went back to normal, i.e we continued being friends. Now I'd be lying if I said I didn't still like her afterwards, but eventually I tried to do stuff, to keep my mind occupied enough to not think about her in that way as much (I've like this girl for pretty much a year now, and didn't ask her out till November, partly due to lockdown). As I have mentioned in my previous threads, I have not told anyone I asked her out, nor that I had liked her. Until last night, where I didn't have the greatest of days, my anxiety was at an all time high (fearing about my accounts on various social media's, to which I also wrote about on a separate thread), and I was feeling a bit down on my luck with this girl where during an online meeting between me, her, my friend (who likes her also) and another friend, I feel like I may have accidentally offended her and I started over-thinking and feeling quite bad about it.

Because I wasn't having a good day, I decided to invite my friend over (whom was in a majority of the meeting with us (not the one who likes her)). I invited him round my house for a few drinks, chat and listen to music. I just really wasn't having a good day and so I wanted to spend some time with someone, and plus I normally never invite my friends round. Anyways he come over, I was a drink and a half in, and I ended up spilling the beans to him, that I liked this girl in our class and that I asked her out. He was quite surprised about it but he was very understanding and nice. I asked him not to tell anyone about this including the girl because I didn't want to put her in an awkward situation and plus our friend (who is also in our class) likes her too. So anyways, we continued drinking, chatting, listening to music, having a nice evening in general. Then we ended up talking about our past relationships/interactions with girls. My friend knew one of the girls who I was "with" for a while. Now I haven't spoke about this publicly as of yet, but lets just say we was best friends for years, we always talked with one another about our feelings and stuff, I had a crush on her, she found out about it, and we had a few "moments" but never established a relationship even though I wanted to. She often felt bad about it, and she always told me she felt bad because she only ever saw me as a friend. I haven't spoken to her in over 2 years and have not seen her physically in over 1 when I saw her entering a shop one day, to which even then made me feel really bad. In the past I have gotten really upset about some of the situations I had with her, particularly when she would end up getting a boyfriend, but that's an entire thread in of itself. Anyways, when me and my friend was drinking he showed me a picture of her and asked if that was her, and I said yes.

And even though I never really told him this straight away, I started feeling really down and upset inside because seeing/hearing about her just makes me sad. Especially when me and her used to be so close together, and now we haven't interacted in years. I have had crushes on girls since but even still, I still get upset about seeing her. But anyways the night went on and we continued having a good time (well I was trying, it was pretty hard after seeing a picture of her). But anyways we went on to talk about a bunch of stuff such as my current crush who I had asked out, since I figured that might make me feel a bit better about it. I also told him I felt bad about today because I was worried that I may have offended her during the online meeting. In college, we're quite a friendly bunch, and we all still talk and work together. I actually really like spending time, working and talking with her. But when I do, their is a slight feel of love-sickness about it. I am not sure if that's a relatively healthy/normal thing to be feeling. But often after day's I feel like I may have accidentally upset, offend, let her down, etc, I start to feel really bad and out-of-luck. But then again when I make her laugh, smile, comfortable, etc I feel a bit good about myself. Even though I already asked her out and was rejected by her. I don't dislike seeing her at all, as a matter of fact I love seeing/talking to her because she is a genuine nice person and a good friend. But when I am around her, there is still a slight feeling of disappointment/hurt. Knowing how likeable she is and yet I never managed to take things further. I am also finishing college in 3 months and I probably won't be going to Uni for a while, so I may never see her again. Like I said, recently I have been trying my best to get my mind off of things like this, and tried to make myself feel more enthusiastic. For example, I've been looking at/buying new parts for my PC, planning on adding new stuff to my Minecraft modpack which I am currently developing, exercising, spending more time with friends, family and pets. I've just been trying my best to help me stop thinking about these things as much as possible and concentrate on the things that give me the slightest positive drive. I've been diagnosed with extreme anxiety and depression for nearly 2 years now, and I am currently on 20mg Fluoxetine everyday so I am indeed on medication.

Now today I have been feeling especially down since I am quite hungover from last night, and I started to feel bad about the picture of the girl from my past that my friend showed me, and I have been feeling quite love-sick about this other girl who I currently have a crush on. I currently have 3 months left of college, and when I leave, I was originally planning on going to university but I just decided to have some time off and then look for work instead. I mean, I have been in college a lot longer than a lot of other people. I have spent nearly 4 academic years at college, some people only do 2/3 years. As of right now I am 20 and I never had a year off before, but it is something I am planning since I've been feeling so burnt out by a lot of things recently. And just wanted to have some time off to sort of better/mend myself a bit more, detox myself from my anxiety as well as concentrate more on the various projects I have going.
 
DistantOcean

DistantOcean

Well-known member
Joined
May 4, 2020
Messages
163
Location
Netherlands
I think it's a good idea to move on from the girl. I feel as though feelings for someone only fade very slowly. And it hurts the soul to continue to be in contact with them. But then again some people might find it in their heart to just stay friends. It's complicated. Your plan of mending yourself through taking it easy and working for a year seems like the right choice. Good luck!
 
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