Depressed, hopeless, suicidal.

[DepressedAF]

I’m a 30 year old man who has wasted his life and I see very little point in continuing. I’ve had depression and anxiety since my early teens which I attempted to self medicate with weed and alcohol from the age of 14-23 which obviously only made matters worse. When I quit using weed and alcohol I was hopeful and even expectant that my life would significantly improve. Unfortunately, it hasn’t.

I’ve never had a girlfriend, I still live with my mum, I’m physically unattractive, I don’t have much savings, I don’t have any career prospects (taxi driver until recently with the pandemic), I have poor social skills and I’m riddled with depression and anxiety. I’m what would traditionally be defined as a “fuck up”, basically.

I see no hope for the future in terms of being able to get on the housing ladder, girlfriend, children etc. Because, let’s face it, who would want anything to do with a loser like me? I wouldn’t. And the even more depressing truth of it is, I doubt those things would even make me happy now. There’s an insatiable black hole inside me that no relationship, social climbing or material possessions are going to fill.

I don’t even know why I decided to write this. I just thought maybe writing my situation down might help me clarify things in my own mind. Anyway, that’s the pathetic loser of a man that is me.

 

[Lilybonnie]

Hi I feel so sad for you - I also have suffered from depression, anxiety, social anxiety and very low self esteem but I managed to marry and have a daughter as I found a lovely, kind man. We are now divorced but I still have hope I will meet someone even though I'm 59 - am on a couple of dating sites. You are right though, external factors can't bring happiness - meditation helps, I also do quite a few online support meetings - codependents anonymous is good for people who have difficulty with relationships. I am trying once again to have counselling with the hope it will work - but hey you're young don't give up hope. Women want partners who are kind, caring and empathic much more than someone who is good looking. Be kind and compassionate to yourself, you deserve to be happy.

 

[OmniscientNihilist]

Anyway, that’s the pathetic loser of a man that is me.

anyone can compare themselves to someone higher up in the world and feel like shit. like after you watch a movie with someone who is really cool, and you kinda worship that person. then after the movie is over and you look at your life and feel like a looser lol. but really its all fake so feeling like a looser is fake too. theres that quote that says

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”

 

[MeAndMyDepression]

I think seeing a psychologist or therapist for psychotherapy would help you immensely, and ask them if they'll take payment on a sliding scale. I'm especially troubled that you keep on telling yourself that you're a loser. By refuting this negative thinking over and over again, it will slowly diminish over time and be automatically replaced by more rational, balanced thinking.

 

[Confused one]

I know one thing is for sure, you need help! Talking so negative about yourself can only lead to negativity ruining your life. Nobody is perfect, not you or anyone for that matter. You have the power to change course but it all starts with clearing your head, first! There’s help out there if you seek it... ask yourself one thing?! You deserve to find your own journey and that journey starts with you. Ever thought about joining the military? Having a purpose or a reason or motivation to do something different or at least trying?

 

[karl7]

I’m a 30 year old man who has wasted his life and I see very little point in continuing. I’ve had depression and anxiety since my early teens which I attempted to self medicate with weed and alcohol from the age of 14-23 which obviously only made matters worse. When I quit using weed and alcohol I was hopeful and even expectant that my life would significantly improve. Unfortunately, it hasn’t.

I’ve never had a girlfriend, I still live with my mum, I’m physically unattractive, I don’t have much savings, I don’t have any career prospects (taxi driver until recently with the pandemic), I have poor social skills and I’m riddled with depression and anxiety. I’m what would traditionally be defined as a “fuck up”, basically.

I see no hope for the future in terms of being able to get on the housing ladder, girlfriend, children etc. Because, let’s face it, who would want anything to do with a loser like me? I wouldn’t. And the even more depressing truth of it is, I doubt those things would even make me happy now. There’s an insatiable black hole inside me that no relationship, social climbing or material possessions are going to fill.

I don’t even know why I decided to write this. I just thought maybe writing my situation down might help me clarify things in my own mind. Anyway, that’s the pathetic loser of a man that is me.

hi depressedAF....i know how tough depression can eb but you got to remember it does and will pass......circumstances change for the better as you move through your 30s.....the 20s for me were a time im glad to see the back of like alot of people....there is so much pressure at that age, but it gets easier as you move through your 30s as i said......i know i used ot feel bad about the fact that i never had a girlfriend, heck i never even had sex. But that does not bother me anymore.

Anyway, i just want to reassure you that life does get better as you get older, trust me

 

[Bernard soares]

Sorry youre feeling so rough. If you haven’t done already ,it may be worth trying medications. Yes they have side effects, but I probably wouldn’t be here without them.
you probably aren’t the loser you think you are - and even if you are you don’t deserve to live a miserable life. Some people are lucky & win the genetic lottery, others aren’t so fortunate. I’m not a “winner” but I’m not going to suffer in silence - you don’t have to either.

 

[treasurebox]

Know that your situation is not permanent. It will pass. There will be better days for you. You were made to be happy.

Create happy moments because happiness is a choice.

Listen to uplifting, motivational, and encouraging songs on youtube. Music helps a lot. Listen several times a day or whenever you are down.