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Depressed by illness

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Amyfibro

Member
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Birmingham
Hi everyone. I needed somewhere to openly talk about how i feel. I have so many medical problems, suffer with so much pain, but soldier on with looking after my family, home and everything else. My husband works, but i cannot due to my health issues. I feel useless. Im always put down after my husband has had a hard day at work. Im told i have a luxury life staying at home, but does he not know how i suffer to get things done. Sometimes i feel like just staying in bed all day so he realises what i do. I lay awake at night crying myself to sleep, im so lonley and worthless, if it wasnt for the kids i would have given up fighting a long time ago. I think because i put on a normal front and do everything everyone is forgetting my struggles. Im broken inside and im all alone.
 
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pcoventry

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
73
Location
Newport S.Wales
Hi Amy xxx

If it's of any use I am the same - in pain all the time with neck and spine problems - I unfortunately couldn't keep it together for the sake of my kids so I lost them and my partner - but I live in hope that I wlll break before they see me again -just so they don't have to go through the trouble really.
 
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Amyfibro

Member
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Birmingham
Never give up! There is always hope, hence why i am still fighting, but its hard. I have non hodgkins lymphoma. fibromyalgia and hypertension. I cook, clean, do the shopping, take care of 3 teenagers, drive them to school and deal with all bills and maintenance of the home. Would you say that is a luxury job? My husbands one and only job is to support us financially by going out to work. Im slowly falling into depression and get panic attacks when alone. I have no social life apart from the errands and going to hospital appointments.
 
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pcoventry

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
73
Location
Newport S.Wales
But he is there for you no? I mean it's not his only job -does he know how you feel?
 
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Amyfibro

Member
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Birmingham
He is a good husband but he doesn't realise the detrimental effect its having on my mental health when he makes out i have a luxury life. I struggle to hold things together, I'm always tired but i persevere to make it normal for my children. I think before i fell ill i was the strong one in the relationship, i made all the decisions and just got on with it, which had made my husband too dependent on me, but i can't do it anymore.
 
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pcoventry

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
73
Location
Newport S.Wales
I agree - I just lost my partner for pretty much the same reasons - You need to let him know how you feel! I want to come to Brum and give you a big hug! :/
 
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pcoventry

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
73
Location
Newport S.Wales
It's okay - I know what your going through and I am at the other side - it's all hard and I wish we could all just get together and hug it out - if nothing else our little bit of the world might, just might be a better place even for a short while!
 
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Bosslash123

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
52
Location
NY
Sometimes the grass is not always greener. I know this from experience. I've stepped on that greener grass. I hate to say it, but when it's bad it's bad, but when he strokes my hair for hours when we watch a Star Trek marathon, I realize how lucky I am. Why? Because he still excepts me for me. I've been married for 20 years, 2 kids and an affair with someone from the psych ward that lasted 7 months. Every time I think the grass is greener, I think about the stability he gives me. He keeps me sane, like no one else could.
 
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pcoventry

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
73
Location
Newport S.Wales
That's so nice I wish I had that for 20 minutes let alone 20 years
 
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Bosslash123

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
52
Location
NY
I never said it was nice. I am bipolar. He has gone through 20 years of episodes. But don't believe it has been sunshine and roses. He has never forgiven me. Some days have it's been hell. But I know, he endures my worst because he loves my best. Some times it can be down right awful, but he is still here. Not a lot a partners will stay. There is a lot of days I weigh the pros and cons. I think about the days he strokes my hair, the days he doesn't forget my affair. The days he watches me race to wash my walls and give away all our household decor. Yet when I am sobbing in the bath tub he gets in. Not many guys would stick around through all that. So my word of advise...You maybe where you are now, but if you make it through with him, he might be worth keeping.
 
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pcoventry

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
73
Location
Newport S.Wales
He still loves you thats clear - so it's nicer than being dumped because you are not well - that's what happened to me - she just upped and left
 
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Bosslash123

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
52
Location
NY
Than that was not the person for you. I am well...at this moment.
 
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