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Depressed but nobody believes me (plus a question about quetiapine)

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Poppyflower

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Aug 16, 2014
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My depression was stable for a while but now it is suddenly back with a vengeance and nobody seems to believe me. I know I am not presenting like a depressed person as for some reason I am acting pretty upbeat and am functioning as normal, but inside I am screaming and I keep telling people I feel like crap but they won't listen. My psychiatrist wrote to my GP that I am not showing symptoms of depression and when I told my GP I feel really low he said he feels I am doing much better than when he first started seeing me. Why are they going by the way I am acting and not what I am saying? I guess it will be a massive shock to everyone if I kill myself, which I am seriously considering doing. I don't know why I am being so upbeat when I feel so bad but I am wondering if it is the new medication I am taking. Has anyone experienced anything like this when taking quetiapine?
 
valleygirl

valleygirl

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I believe you in saying that you feel depressed but present as being upbeat. I can also present as doing much better than I actually am at times. It is very frustrating.

Can I ask why you are taking quetiapine? As far as I know, that usually isn't prescribed for depression, but usually when there are symptoms of mania. I would find it strange that quetiapine could make someone appear upbeat. I take quetiapine, and it usually numbs my emotions and makes me groggy.
 
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Poppyflower

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Thanks for responding, Valleygirl. I have tried most of the medications normally used for depression and anxiety but they have had no effect on me. My psychiatrist doesn't believe I am depressed but has prescribed the quetiapine to help with my anxiety, I think. It makes me drowsy too and I have been taking it at night to help with my sleep. During the day I am bright and upbeat on the outside but incredibly down on the inside. It's very weird. I suppose the psychiatrist was thinking the drowsiness would counteract the anxiety? I don't know!
 
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blueflames

blueflames

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I understand that feeling. I tend to present in an upbeat way and most of the time that's what people want so I do my best to be that, but inside is a very different story.

Have you tried writing down how you feel and taking it to the psych? might help them understand better xxx
 
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Caro5

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Hi. Me too. I think sometimes we have the sort of internal resources that make us 'doers' and therefore don't seem depressed to others because we function pretty much like 'normal' people getting on with their lives. We get up every day, go to work, look after kids, eat meals, go to the cinema etc whilst all the time inside of us is shouting 'I HATE LIFE'. I call us the walking wounded but I think we should be glad we are that way really because in the long run it maybe makes the climb up shorter because we never stopped living? It doesn't feel that way though as it makes me feel invisible. If that makes sense?? Min you a psychiatrist should know better.
 
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UMPALUMPA

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May 15, 2015
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Hi PoppyFlower, I understand where your coming from with feeling upbeat and not being seen as in the mist of deep depression, I make jokes 90% of the time but 5 minutes before I could of seriously self harmed.

People deal with depression in different ways, such as joking or non stop talking.

No Dr or Care Worker can tell what inner termoil and depressed thoughts are working inside us.

You stay super safe and its good that you can chat on here amongst people who understand.

:hug5:

Edit : Quitiapine has been proven to increase Suicidle thinking when first started.
Its stated on the packet info leaflet.
 
Sparklypurplepaws

Sparklypurplepaws

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Hi poppy,
Oh I seriously get you - I'm a great actress, sometimes I even believe myself that I'm normal!
I saw the crisis team on the morning that I intended to take my own life, they wrote me off as mildly depressed. But inside I was screaming in turmoil, pain, utter torture.
You know how you feel, I think you need to go back to your gp and explain, write it down if you have to - but get yourself heard. So many of us get under the radar and live shitty lives because the help isn't given to us x
 
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Thoth

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I wouldn't go near Quetiapine unless you have schizophrenia, or it's actual on-label uses.
 
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johnathon84

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Apr 1, 2015
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Hey there Poppy i completely understand you. I have depression and anxiety and i use anti depressants to help me out. I also take sleeping tablets to help me sleep. I understand how you mean with being upbeat. Sometimes what we do on the outside is to distract ourselves from how were feeling on the inside. When im out and about i act like everything is fine and dandy when deep down inside i feel the opposite. One thing iv always said and i stick to is that only you know how you feel inside. Even a doctor can not see how you feel as much as they like to think they do sometimes. Keep being you and do the things that make you happy my friend. Never give up. Bad times dont last but tough people do :)
 
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Poppyflower

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Well it wasn't the quetiapine as I am now feeling again like I was when I wrote the original post and I haven't taken that medication for a while.

So yet again I am depressed and telling everyone involved with my "care" but nobody is taking me seriously. Hopefully my GP will believe me when I see him next week. Now I just have to try to get through working this weekend. Though if I do I'll probably be told I can't possibly be depressed if I am still managing to work. :rolleyes: And I have told them so many times the worse I feel the more I try to push myself to keep functioning but they just don't get it.
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Yes I also function to a high degree yet I wish to take my life today, yes tody or yesterday not sure but it is in desperation - I want not to be here a second more, but I also want to help - these feelings don;t always hang around and last - so no regrets just push forward and look at the little things and make a bigger picture - life sucks we all got that right, but it can be better and only we can make it that way - stay safe and strong KS xxxx
 
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doverdave

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Aug 20, 2015
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know just what your saying. because you don't drop your public face you must be fine. the trouble is you get so good at putting on a show its hard to be yourself. My experience is that the system is so mucked up that you only get the help you need when you are at rock bottom or slightly past it. what they need to accept that you now your own feelings/moods in advance of being in crisis. the Crisis treatment which i have just received has been first class unfortunately the community care is somewhat wanting. just keep going back until they listen nobody know your feelings better than you.
 
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