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Depressed Boyfriend - Help



New member
Sep 20, 2018
Hi everyone,

This is my first post and hoping for some guidance please.

I have been in a relationship with a lovely, kind 46 yr old man for 18 months.
I was aware shortly after meeting him that he suffered with depression and attended weekly counselling. He said this was due to the stress he was under at that time regarding court proceedings involving children contact and division of matrimonial finances.

He has been under tremendous pressure throughout this time, and I have supported him. He told me he couldn't have got through it without me, how he loves me and I am his best friend. He even talked about marriage and moving in together once this was all over. We have never argued, spent lovely times together, holidays and then last week (exactly a week before his Final Financial Hearing) he snapped at me and put the phone down on me. He then texted me saying he was really struggling and needed to deal with this alone and asking me not to add more pressure. I then noticed he had posted on social media despite ignoring my texts. I was so hurt.

I left him alone, and texted him the night before the Court Hearing wishing him luck etc. I again had no reply, until after the Hearing was over. That was blunt and brief, no kiss as normal, saying "Rubbish result. At least its over".

I texted him that evening saying the silence was killing me, how i loved him but I did not know what was going on, and I received a reply the following night saying "I am not able to be in a relationship right now. I am truly sorry I have treated you this way. Let me know when you want to collect your things and I will leave them outside". I asked if I could call him for one minute to talk, and he said he was could not talk.

I am absolutely heartbroken - it is a like another person sending these texts. Do I just leave him alone? I feel so angry and betrayed right now.

After 18 months he dumps me by text, and refuses to even see me to hand over some of my things.

Has anyone ever dealt with something similar - I feel completely lost :cry2:

I love him so very much, and I believed he loved me.


Well-known member
Aug 27, 2018
Yes. I have dealt with a similar circumstance. It appears he his having a mental breakdown from the stress of his previous relationship and the associated legal issues. At this time, he can't deal with any of the emotions and stress associated with a relationship. There is a good chance that he will recover from this trauma and return to you. In the meantime, I am afraid you have to give him his space and let him work through this.