• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Depressed and raging

B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
iam sorry for swearing but it might help me a bit.


totally fucking pissed off with some lady who works in mental health fianances saying it was wrong my mum who has dementia gave me some money to get myself out of debt from years ago iam mums poa and it was quite a large sum of money, mum still has easierly enough money to cover her care plan but this bloody jobs worth is hounding me and she really upset us both by going to the family solicitor trying to get a copy of the poa and they told her no it seems as if mum and i should of asked the guardian of poa for permission the lady seems a right fucking jobsworth who has learnt out of a book and knows fuck all about peoples care sorry but iam just raging here and need to get it off my chest i am only raging and pissed off and feel very safe in my thoughts but some fucking people dont have a clue what the meaning of hounding is.
 
A

Aurelius

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
848
Hope you feel a a bit better as the day goes on. Can well understand and empathise with your frustration and anger Bod. Really glad you managed not to self-harm. Sounds like she has done enough damage to your life already without pushing you into this. Hope everything works out around this issue over the money - you and your mum deserve the best!!
 
S

Stuttery

Former member
I'm sorry that this is happening. I hope you feel better soon. Whenever I get angry, I listen to a lot of music. Well, I almost always listen to music. But it helps a lot during moments like this. I hope everything works out.
 
B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
Hope you feel a a bit better as the day goes on. Can well understand and empathise with your frustration and anger Bod. Really glad you managed not to self-harm. Sounds like she has done enough damage to your life already without pushing you into this. Hope everything works out around this issue over the money - you and your mum deserve the best!!


Thank you I do feel better now.
 
B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
I'm sorry that this is happening. I hope you feel better soon. Whenever I get angry, I listen to a lot of music. Well, I almost always listen to music. But it helps a lot during moments like this. I hope everything works out.


Thank you.
 
B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
the beating on my chest as the little boy is trying to break out with the pressures of life he runs and runs and runs to escape his past torment as know one understands him at all he feels locked in a strange place with know one to help him i catch up and hold hug him tight baby iam here for you we will get through this i tell him we talk of good times when growing up watching sunsets on ayers rock he says uluru but its the same name we had good times so not all bad why did we move to another world i tell him daddy got a better job to help bring us up but we have photos of all those good times dont we and i say yes we do. we hug and tell each other that we love each other and we will manage why do we hurt ourselfs so much when we are scared we say it might help us through it all but that man says we are ill and bad so i dont understand why, we talk of the past when our best friend sadly died he could understand us and i say yes he was a true friend and we will never forget him but why do people bully us because we talk funny i say its because we were born in another country and other dont know why, but mummy is our school teacher so that does not help us either, he then asks why we ended up in a strange building with people in white coats saying we are so bad i tell him we will never break up as we are one he knows what i mean as it is my inner child its me. why did they say we are mad but so young and i say to him it is the world against us so we never tell anyone but only each other, then after so many years why did we help the man and end up locked in prison i tell him it was a family member that we helped and took the blame for something, he asks why the horrible man in prison did those bad things to us i say because we are bad and deserved it then when we are let out we run away and live somewhere else and drink and smoke funny stuff and we feel better and he says why did that man put metal in your face and with broken heart i say it was a gun and we got mugged but we can drink and smoke to forget it all cant we and little me says yes its us against the rest of the world we meet other strange people who hurt us but we get on and blank it out with drink and drugs to forget little me is screaming for help but knowone comes as we have hurt ourself yet again while drinking and smoking funny stuff we wake up in a strange place but we know we are safe as its a hospital we have a very bad hand and it needs fixing very quickly and we wake up again the next day the people saved our hand we both talk and agree we need help in our messed up life so we ask and people are so loving and caring when we go to a place called a charity we all talk in a group and think yes we have done that and had that done too after years of talking to these people we move to a nice rehab to carry on the help its called smithfield and its where we met a nice lady called princess diana and she talked to us and wished us the best. then we are moved to another rehab and its strange because why all talk and understand each other so we feel like a big family so we talk and talk and cry and cry so much that we start to feel alive and we carry on talking to one person who really cares and helps us even more and we start to walk tall again and feel happy that all the very heavy weight is now off our chest and we can breath again. little me then asks why we are working in the rehab i say because this place called turning point saved our lives and now we are strong we can put the help we got back into it, little me tells me that we are good and have to stay strong because our thoughts can take us back down so helping others helps us little me now understands it it not us against the world but us against us and we have to keep and eye on the demons as we were wrong to play with that board many years ago little me asks why i take so many pills and a inhalor and i say this one is for my blood pressure that one is a blood thinner and the inhalor is for our copd and asthma little me says whats that one so i say that is for trying to help keep us safe and well its an antidepressant. little me says but we still need therapy and i say yes we do as we need to keep talking to carry on with the way we life. little me now understands and says he is happy if we can help others then jumps back inside me falling asleep.


now that was hard to write out but i feel relaxed to as does little me who is sleeping.



I hope people who read this might find some peace and helps.
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Staff member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
13,468
Location
England
I hope you are feeling a bit better now. It is hard not to let other people and stress affect us. It is hard to come down again too, but a couple of days of rest and i am ok. It is good to write it down too, get it out of your head and on 'paper'.

People do poke their nose in and it annoys me also.
 
B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
I hope you are feeling a bit better now. It is hard not to let other people and stress affect us. It is hard to come down again too, but a couple of days of rest and i am ok. It is good to write it down too, get it out of your head and on 'paper'.

People do poke their nose in and it annoys me also.


Thank you, and I'm so sorry for swearing it the title and it won't happen again sorry for that.
Yes I was so raging with anger hatred and self harming came back very strong so I had to dig very deep breath and then blast out some music while eating a pickled onion. I do feel a lot better now but it really did upset me.

Again I am sorry for the swearing in the title.
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Staff member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
13,468
Location
England
Pickled onions! i eat too many of them ;) Garners are my favourite but they are so expensive now.

Blasting music is good too. I'm glad you are doing better. There are so many triggers everywhere, it is very hard to avoid them isn't it.
 
B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
Pickled onions! i eat too many of them ;) Garners are my favourite but they are so expensive now.

Blasting music is good too. I'm glad you are doing better. There are so many triggers everywhere, it is very hard to avoid them isn't it.

I tried a hot pepper once and omg never again, so pickled onions are great as I can eat a whole jar in one go. As there were only ten left I had to finish the lot..lol
I know in my mind I have to keep an eye out and on all possible triggers but that one really caught me out, but I feel ok now and I also read the forum guidelines.
 
C

cathanifrind174

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
177
Location
Paris, France
I'm glad you're feeling better. The other day I had to shout. I shouted loudly for no reason for five minutes and then I calmed down. We have a right to be frustrated. We shouldn't show that anger on a particular person but so long as it's harmless I think we should be able to show our anger.

Before the lockdown when I played squash, I used to hit the ball as hard I could till I broke it. We all have a natural rage we need to get out. If swearing on the forums is the only outlet you have, go ahead, we won't judge you. We just hope you get better and if swearing does it for you, why not?

Anyway, I'm glad you're better. We all come to the forums when we're down and sometimes all we want is to be heard.
 
B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
I'm glad you're feeling better. The other day I had to shout. I shouted loudly for no reason for five minutes and then I calmed down. We have a right to be frustrated. We shouldn't show that anger on a particular person but so long as it's harmless I think we should be able to show our anger.

Before the lockdown when I played squash, I used to hit the ball as hard I could till I broke it. We all have a natural rage we need to get out. If swearing on the forums is the only outlet you have, go ahead, we won't judge you. We just hope you get better and if swearing does it for you, why not?

Anyway, I'm glad you're better. We all come to the forums when we're down and sometimes all we want is to be heard.


Thank you and yes I'm feeling a lot better now but foolish because I swore in the title. It really did everything bad in me this morning and I did not even see it a s trigger so I'm still learning on what triggers to look out for. Cold water over my head did not help so a pickled onion and loud music did just the job then I focussed on my breathing and managed to calm right down.
 
C

cathanifrind174

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
177
Location
Paris, France
Thank you and yes I'm feeling a lot better now but foolish because I swore in the title. It really did everything bad in me this morning and I did not even see it a s trigger so I'm still learning on what triggers to look out for. Cold water over my head did not help so a pickled onion and loud music did just the job then I focussed on my breathing and managed to calm right down.

Wonderful. So happy you found the fix. I used to try cold water as well and it never helped. I like shouting although I am worried what others might think. So I apologized to my wife afterwards and had our neighbours come over, I'd have apologized as well. But I really needed to shout
 
B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
Wonderful. So happy you found the fix. I used to try cold water as well and it never helped. I like shouting although I am worried what others might think. So I apologized to my wife afterwards and had our neighbours come over, I'd have apologized as well. But I really needed to shout


I did scream the other week and stuck the fear of god up my other half, so a lot of saying sorry so I won't scream like that again..lol
 
B

Bod

Former member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
7,860
Location
Pretty Good
i have been feeling really good about my self but i got an email from the stupid woman in mental health fianace asking yet again i told her to stop hounding me as if she carries on and i have a bad breakdown she can go and say sorry to my mum for hounding your son so much she really does piss me right off
 

Similar threads

Top