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Depressed after crush on girl, who left work

C

ClownsRUs

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Joined
Aug 4, 2021
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2
Location
Portsmouth
So, hi. This is an unusual one and has come from nowhere really. I hope I’m in the right place.

I have been working in my office job for 12 months, then 4 months ago this girl started and I immediately liked her company, she made work more fun for me, we got lunches together, chatted a lot during work and it just made my days easier and quicker. Prior to this, I was quiet at work, I was in a really good place though, and happy, but just quiet as most people are work were quite in relatable.
Over the last 4 months I’ve obviously caught these really strong feelings and I was aware of it. She has a boyfriend who lives in America, but moans about not seeing him, so in back of my head I always had a, ‘well maybe’ thought. So I tried to stay realistically and deep down I knew she wasn’t in to me like I was to her, but I never pulled away from her attention as I enjoyed her company.

Anyway, last week she left our work place to start a dream job in Australia/NZ she had been wanting.
Once I knew she was leaving I’ve genuinely felt like I’ve been dumped by a girlfriend. I never told her as it would be awkward and pointless.
but now I’m left empty, I’ve lost all interest in my current job (which I was doing so well in). Ive cut my hobbies off and end up just lounging around home thinking about her.
I’m also strange that I always think back to dates I did things and wonder if I liked her at that point in time (no idea why I do this strange thing but I do it alot)

I still get myself out to play sport and try stay social on weekends but I’m in a really bad place. Not wanting to work anymore and it’s effected my sleep, my general well-being and happiness.
I know this sounds like a soppy silly child’s crush but it’s got me more down than I have felt in many many years. :(
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
7,007
Location
A comet
Did both of you exchange contact details? like e-mail address or facebook accounts?
It's understandable that you feel the way you do, both in regards to her and how you are feeling now.
I hope that despite feeling more down, you will overcome this.
 
Novastars

Novastars

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Joined
Jul 9, 2021
Messages
719
Location
Scotland
It sounds like you're grieving a missed opportunity of a relationship with this girl, which makes absolute sense. Allow yourself to completely wallow in your grieve for a day or 3 and then tell yourself to start looking at the future again. There will be more girls you will fancy, and who will fancy you back but of course, that's not what you want to hear right now, I get that.
Good luck!
 
M

matt42069

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Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
75
Location
Lithuania
So, hi. This is an unusual one and has come from nowhere really. I hope I’m in the right place.

I have been working in my office job for 12 months, then 4 months ago this girl started and I immediately liked her company, she made work more fun for me, we got lunches together, chatted a lot during work and it just made my days easier and quicker. Prior to this, I was quiet at work, I was in a really good place though, and happy, but just quiet as most people are work were quite in relatable.
Over the last 4 months I’ve obviously caught these really strong feelings and I was aware of it. She has a boyfriend who lives in America, but moans about not seeing him, so in back of my head I always had a, ‘well maybe’ thought. So I tried to stay realistically and deep down I knew she wasn’t in to me like I was to her, but I never pulled away from her attention as I enjoyed her company.

Anyway, last week she left our work place to start a dream job in Australia/NZ she had been wanting.
Once I knew she was leaving I’ve genuinely felt like I’ve been dumped by a girlfriend. I never told her as it would be awkward and pointless.
but now I’m left empty, I’ve lost all interest in my current job (which I was doing so well in). Ive cut my hobbies off and end up just lounging around home thinking about her.
I’m also strange that I always think back to dates I did things and wonder if I liked her at that point in time (no idea why I do this strange thing but I do it alot)

I still get myself out to play sport and try stay social on weekends but I’m in a really bad place. Not wanting to work anymore and it’s effected my sleep, my general well-being and happiness.
I know this sounds like a soppy silly child’s crush but it’s got me more down than I have felt in many many years. :(
I also have a crush that makes me depressed just thinking about her , its a terrible feeling .
 
T

treasurebox

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Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
525
Location
Philippines
It is normal for you to feel and think the way you do. Know that your situation is not permanent. It will pass. You will be okay. Just move on. Listen to motivatonal and uplifting music on youtube or spotify.
 
C

Comorbidity

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Jul 19, 2021
Messages
439
Location
London
It sounds like you have been incredibly fortunate to meet and incredible and beautiful person, meeting such people in life is incredibly rare, I don't know how old you are, but as you get older you come to appreciate this and understand that as attracted to them as you might be, which quite often isn't sexually, it's just the beauty of the person they are and how they make you feel, that some people aren't for you, as much as you'd like it 'to be', it can never be and was never meant to be and sad as it is to no longer have them in your life, you learn to remember them well and wish the very best for them in everything they do and be thankful for the short time you had with them and were able to enjoy the beauty and joy they bring to the world.

Perhaps it will inspire you to go out, meet more people and maybe even be fortunate enough to find someone who excites and inspires you so much who IS for you

Also, it's poor form to think about pursuing someone who has a boyfriend, never ever done it, I've probably been with people who had boyfriends without knowing, but if I know, they're strictly off limits in my mind immediately
 
C

ClownsRUs

New member
Joined
Aug 4, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Portsmouth
It sounds like you have been incredibly fortunate to meet and incredible and beautiful person, meeting such people in life is incredibly rare, I don't know how old you are, but as you get older you come to appreciate this and understand that as attracted to them as you might be, which quite often isn't sexually, it's just the beauty of the person they are and how they make you feel, that some people aren't for you, as much as you'd like it 'to be', it can never be and was never meant to be and sad as it is to no longer have them in your life, you learn to remember them well and wish the very best for them in everything they do and be thankful for the short time you had with them and were able to enjoy the beauty and joy they bring to the world.

Perhaps it will inspire you to go out, meet more people and maybe even be fortunate enough to find someone who excites and inspires you so much who IS for you

Also, it's poor form to think about pursuing someone who has a boyfriend, never ever done it, I've probably been with people who had boyfriends without knowing, but if I know, they're strictly off limits in my mind immediately
this is a rather good point. The more I dwell on it. I think I really fell for her personality and attitude, but beyond that not much else.
I mean, I can just hope I meet someone who gives me as much laughter and comfort with their company soon I guess. Who knows.
 
C

Comorbidity

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
439
Location
London
this is a rather good point. The more I dwell on it. I think I really fell for her personality and attitude, but beyond that not much else.
I mean, I can just hope I meet someone who gives me as much laughter and comfort with their company soon I guess. Who knows.
I really hope that happens for you to, the best part is, at least now you know what that is and how it feels and when you meet the person who perhaps IS for you and available, you will recognise that feeling and all the things they give you immediately
 
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