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Depressed about my son growing up

N

Nc2210

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2016
Messages
4
I know that there are people out there with worse problems, but I just need to get this out there and I am praying I get support because no one in my life is supportive. I already know that I have anxiety and depression and I have been on meds before but I am not currently, however, even when I was on meds and speaking with a therapist regularly which helped a lot with most of the things in my life it never made a difference with this. I am severely depressed about my son growing up, he is almost 5, and I cry a lot about it, yes it is worse during PMS but it's always there in my head almost pushing me to tears that I am constantly having to hold back because I don't want my son to know how sad His growing makes me, I am also constantly worried that something will happen to him or me and I won't get to see him grow up. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy every moment I can, I do not let it make me miss all the good things, it's mostly at night when he's sleeping that I watch him and cry, bc he is such a loving sweet boy and I never want him to change, I never want him to not need me or not want to hold my hand or cuddle, and it breaks my heart that time is going so fast and in the blink of an eye he will be an adult with his own family. I don't know what to do or what can help me with this. I am just so saddened by him growing up, I'm hoping someone out there can relate to this, I can't talk to anyone in my life about it bc they all just tell me that it's going to happen and there is nothing I can do n just to enjoy it now, and i ALREADY KNOW THAT! I need some understanding and support, every time he learns something new or hits a new milestone I am so happy and proud, but then I cry because it's just another step to him being an adult. If anyone else has or has had this problem please reach out, but if you have something negative to say to me about how it's life and I can't miss out because I'm thinking about him growing up or something like that, keep it to yourself, I get enough of that from the people in my life already. Thank you
 
angry butterfly

angry butterfly

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 5, 2011
Messages
2,525
Location
surrey
Hi, welcome to the forum. i'm sorry your feelings and fears are dismissed by the people in your life, i'm afraid that's only too common and a lot of people here will relate to that.
i dont have advice i'm afraid, just wanted to say welcome.
 
R

RunningOnRiver

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2016
Messages
318
Location
United Kingdom
I know that there are people out there with worse problems, but I just need to get this out there and I am praying I get support because no one in my life is supportive. I already know that I have anxiety and depression and I have been on meds before but I am not currently, however, even when I was on meds and speaking with a therapist regularly which helped a lot with most of the things in my life it never made a difference with this. I am severely depressed about my son growing up, he is almost 5, and I cry a lot about it, yes it is worse during PMS but it's always there in my head almost pushing me to tears that I am constantly having to hold back because I don't want my son to know how sad His growing makes me, I am also constantly worried that something will happen to him or me and I won't get to see him grow up. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy every moment I can, I do not let it make me miss all the good things, it's mostly at night when he's sleeping that I watch him and cry, bc he is such a loving sweet boy and I never want him to change, I never want him to not need me or not want to hold my hand or cuddle, and it breaks my heart that time is going so fast and in the blink of an eye he will be an adult with his own family. I don't know what to do or what can help me with this. I am just so saddened by him growing up, I'm hoping someone out there can relate to this, I can't talk to anyone in my life about it bc they all just tell me that it's going to happen and there is nothing I can do n just to enjoy it now, and i ALREADY KNOW THAT! I need some understanding and support, every time he learns something new or hits a new milestone I am so happy and proud, but then I cry because it's just another step to him being an adult. If anyone else has or has had this problem please reach out, but if you have something negative to say to me about how it's life and I can't miss out because I'm thinking about him growing up or something like that, keep it to yourself, I get enough of that from the people in my life already. Thank you
Reading what you've written makes me think this is exactly what i'd be like if i had a child. I hope there's someone on here that can relate to you and you can help each other. It's awful feeling like this. *Hugs*
 
C

Crazy Lady In Stanton

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
1,536
Location
Stanton, CA
Nc, honey, you need therapy bad. I know you love your son, but it really sounds like you rely on him to meet your emotional needs, in this case, your need to feel needed. This is unhealthy for you and especially for him. Get help now. Your well being and that of your son depend on it. You should also see a doctor about your depression. I hope you feel better soon.
While I know that a pet is no substitute for a child, the wonderful thing about pets is that they never grow up. They always need you. Have you considered getting a pet? I find having a pet to cuddle with and care for to be very satisfying emotionally. I really do hope you feel better soon. I'm sending you a big hug. :hug1:
 
R

RunningOnRiver

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2016
Messages
318
Location
United Kingdom
While I know that a pet is no substitute for a child, the wonderful thing about pets is that they never grow up. They always need you. Have you considered getting a pet? I find having a pet to cuddle with and care for to be very satisfying emotionally. I really do hope you feel better soon. I'm sending you a big hug. :hug1:
It is until they get old, get sick and die. Which is what i'm terrified of..
 
N

Nc2210

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2016
Messages
4
I am aware that I need to go back to therapy which is why I said in my post that I am aware of things like that, however I can't afford it, so unless you are paying that suggestion does me no good, also, I have 2 cats, it doesn't help, I do not rely on my son to feel needed, trust me, I am needed in many ways by many different People in my life, it has nothing to do with that. I don't need to be told what I have to do or what is healthy for me and my son, my son is growing up just fine, very emotionally balanced, as I said in my post I need support and some understanding, and hopefully other people that feel the same way so that I have people to talk to who understand and will stop just telling me what I need to do, did you read my post? I already have the people who tell me what I need to do, what I need is to not be judged, I get enough of that in my life already.
 
N

Nc2210

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2016
Messages
4
To everyone who has wished me support and hugs, thank you
 
C

Crazy Lady In Stanton

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
1,536
Location
Stanton, CA
I think everyone here, including myself, has offered you caring advice and support. You just seem incapable of seeing that right now.
Everyone needs emotional support. And everyone needs constructive criticism now and then. This is how we grow as people. You are no different from anyone else in this regard.
As far as being able to afford therapy, there are therapists who will see you on a sliding scale. If you genuinely can't afford to pay anything, you don't have to.
I hope you can accept this advice in the spirit with which it was given.
 
N

Nc2210

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2016
Messages
4
My point is that I get the criticism already, i don't need that, I need the support, and no, I really can't afford the therapy, I live paycheck to paycheck. I get what you are trying to say, and I appreciate it but really more than anything I just need some understanding, not to hear that I'm wrong in anyway or need therapy.
 
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