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Depersonalization, Blunted Affect, and Defense Mechanisms

F

Flatlined

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Apr 3, 2015
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To preface this, a quick quesiton on the nature of blunted affect as a symptom of depersonalization disorder: is it possible to seperate blunted affect and actual episodes of depersonalization? Times when I actually conciously feel depersonalized are rare events but I seem to be under the influence of blunted affect basically all the time.



I have (self diagnosed) depersonalization disorder. It effects me in rare and short episodes and I generally have no problem with it. However I do have a few questions on the nature of this disorder.

I understand that it can either be genetic or aquired due to some degree of stress and I'm not sure which applies to me. When I was younger, I think I unconciously used a form of depersonalization (namely blunted affect) whenever something occurred that I really wanted to avoid (e.g. being yelled at by angery parents, possibly when my younger brother was displaying anger problems/tourette's symptoms) but I am uncertain as to if this was because I had the disorder to begin with and unconciously used it to escape these emotionally overwhelming situations or that these situations caused me to form the disorder as a coping mechanism. I am leaning towards the former because I don't believe I have expierenced nearly enough stress or trauma to warrent developing depersonalization.

Blunted affect is something that I think I used as a defense mechanism. Oftentimes when my parents were angry with me and wished to talk I would quickly "shut down" (verbatim) and my responsiveness would decline into a lack of emotions both inwardly and outwardly and a monotone/cold tone characterized by short, emotionless answers to questions and almost never speaking unless responding to a question.

Over the years I think that I may have begun to use this mechanism in other areas such as when dealing with or being in the presence overly-emotional people such as my brother who suffers some psychological issues.

I think that the end result of this "coping" if that is indeed what it was is blunted affect all the time. When I was a young child I was often described by friends and teachers as impulsive and humorous and by my family as sometimes very sensitive. Now I am much colder. I am not impulsive and think through my actions without emotion. I can still be funny and personable with my friends and fit into social situations with a certain degree of ease (though I sometimes lack the motivation to put in the effort) but I feel much less within and am capable of not expressing much without. I don't feel that I really "love" anyone including family. I almost never experience any anxiety, stress, or depression. I am more or less content with my current frame of mind and have no wish to become more emotional.

Basically I am trying to get a better idea of how my brain works and these are just my thoughts and theories based on my own research and expierience. Does any of what I have described here resemble any of your own experiences? Questions and comments are welcome.
 

MarlieeB

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It might be an idea to go to a Doctor with your thoughts around this as well as of course getting some advice here :)

Marliee x
 
cassandra36

cassandra36

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I feel you in part. I also do not feel my life had enough trauma to warrant my current situation but every one is different. You may like me be judging to harshly on what enough trauma is. We don't have to witness mass murder or be returning from an active war zone to experience life altering trauma. Just my opinion: )
 
S

Shump

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Oct 13, 2014
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Makes sense to me, can relate...

I think I have been happier, smiling boy before, but that has attracted a lot of people to open up to me and also aggression toward me due to jealousy.

I've become blunted, but I am also thinking, in this reality, is it a surprise... Look at old people, how blunted they tend to be... They've survived in this reality, and I think this reality isn't as genuinely helpful and nice between living things as we like to think in our minds (also as a form of coping mechanism).
 
K

kennethlovseth

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May 19, 2015
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Norway
Doctor, doctor!:)

If you ask me Your best friend is Your best doctor, but that is so...

I am a simple man, and when I am faced With a term like "depersonalisation" I emediatly think that there is someting a person wants to flee from.. and so chooses another personality or way to present himself that would at best give hime a better standing With the significant persons in his / her life.

A person faced With anger/agression from significant others in their childhood would emediatly choose such a strategy. You dont need to be a psycologist to understand that.

If you are struggeling With bad input from Close ones, my best advice would be to Accept it - unfortanently you cannot change them. BUT you can change yourself
to have even more respect for yourself. You have been throu the most hard times - and for this you should have the greatest respect for yourself, who you are and Your dreams for a better future.

Here is Your motto:): "I deserve all the good Things life can present me With"


Best wishes.

Kenneth.
 
K

kennethlovseth

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May 19, 2015
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Location
Norway
Reply to Shump

I read Your notice, and became thinking...

You are in many ways right, I am 44 yo and getting older I find easier to cope

With life and also a bit "cynical" due to life itself.

When I was Young I was an idealist, I wanted so much to make a difference...

But when I got older I became more and more aware of the limits of my
capabilities. And so I realized I could share my knowlegde, and try to be positive...but the steep hills of life every man (woman) have to Climb on their own.

Often I Wright on theese pages to Young People, and it really saddense me that all I can do is send you text, and not be there for you live.

I think it would be unfair to say that life is easy, that simple solutions always work.

I just want to say to the Young: when you get older it gets easiER, it dont at all gets easy...like life becomes like riding a bike...You just get more used to the Down hills.

Kenneth.
 
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