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Depersonalisation brought on by meditation? What's happening to me?

L

Little Earthling

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Jan 10, 2021
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Hello :)

Around November I started meditating everyday- only for about 20 minutes- but I was happy and thinking it would be good for my health. I started to do guided chakra meditations and each time it would come to my third eye chakra, I was making the mistake (I now realise) of forcefully concentrating very hard on that area. It would kind of vibrate and feel weird in my head and after the meditation I would feel really dazed. After a few weeks of this, I noticed that whenever I went outside I was verry sensitive to light and my vision started to blur. Eventually I was getting this feeling all the time, even indoors, where I feel totally detached from myself. It's almost like feeling drunk all the time. Everything is so weird and it doesn't even feel like I'm living in reality. When talking with people I start getting really paranoid that I'm not making sense and I can't even focus on them properly. It's like I'm looking at the world from under water. I feel a pressure in my head and recently my ears have been constantly ringing. It's driving me crazy. It's been about 6 weeks now and I have these symptoms from the moment I wake up to when I sleep again so there's no respite.

I have been to the doctor and had a comprehensive blood test but they couldn't find anything and she's reluctant to send me to a neurologist and basically told me to come back in a month if it doesn't go away. She mentioned depersonalisation as a possible explanation but I don't think I have been particularly stressed. The meditation thing I can see as quite an obvious correlation but of course I could be wrong and this is a random neurological issue- but maybe I triggered that with the meditation?? Has anyone had any experience with this or could offer any advice to me? I fear I will never feel normal ever again.

Maybe I just sound like I'm crazy 🤪

Thank you for reading!
 
T

toto

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I think that's one of the reasons I go crazy. Wrong fixation in the brain, in general excessive fixation on myself and my feelings. Otherwise, the only useful thing is that I knew exactly where in my brain dreams come from, after I felt and that the voice comes from the same place, I concluded that I provoke it. I calmed down all this with calm breathing, so now I am relatively normal. For me, meditation is harmful. Mentally ill people describe depersonalization and derealization as nirvana.
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

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I did a meditation class a long time ago and it scared the shit out of me because I would dissociate. I finished the class but never entered that deep state again (on purpose) and after that I have never meditated again. But the effect wasn't as long-term as it is for you; when I stopped meditating it slowly went away.
I am quite susceptible to dissociation when stressed (I have borderline traits) but meditation definitely triggers it for me.
 
L

Little Earthling

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I did a meditation class a long time ago and it scared the shit out of me because I would dissociate. I finished the class but never entered that deep state again (on purpose) and after that I have never meditated again. But the effect wasn't as long-term as it is for you; when I stopped meditating it slowly went away.
I am quite susceptible to dissociation when stressed (I have borderline traits) but meditation definitely triggers it for me.
Thank you for your reply. That's so interesting, I guess we must be susceptible to it. I too have borderline traits and didn't consider that. The thing that confuses me though is that I was (in recent months) in a perfectly good state of mind, not particularly stressed- it's as though the meditation alone triggered this unless there's a lot going on in my subconscious 🤔
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

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For me it was definitely the meditation that triggered it.
I only dissociate under extreme stress or when I haven't slept well in a while. That was not happening at that time when I did the meditation class.

How are you doing now?
 
Barny67

Barny67

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Hi I think it’s you focusing on your third eye far too soon. Must be upsetting to experience the effects you mentioned.
Meditation will help most conditions but the process of chakra healing has to be slowly over time.
I realise this has probably put ya right off meditation but if you’ve got the symptoms you described constantly, what have you got to lose by returning to meditation but focusing on different chakras, I start at the Root chakra. Tc
 
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toto

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Meditation in general is harmful. It draws unnecessary attention to the sensations of the body. I doubt that the fragmentation of thoughts during psychosis is due to meditation, because I tried to stop thinking. The only positive thing I found in panic is to breathe with tongue resting on the palate behind the teeth. To stay calm even if you have voices / obsessions. Besides, I noticed that I have obsessions / strange thoughts and desires / only if I haven't slept well.
 
Barny67

Barny67

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279
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Middlesbrough
Meditation in general is harmful. It draws unnecessary attention to the sensations of the body. I doubt that the fragmentation of thoughts during psychosis is due to meditation, because I tried to stop thinking. The only positive thing I found in panic is to breathe with tongue resting on the palate behind the teeth. To stay calm even if you have voices / obsessions. Besides, I noticed that I have obsessions / strange thoughts and desires / only if I haven't slept well.
I’m sorry you had these experiences, meditation doesn’t help all conditions. Tc.
 
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