Delusions centered on my friends

T

The_Doctor

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#1
Hello, good day to everyone.

I think I am suffering from schizophrenia, psychosis, delusion disorder and DPDR. About my friends,I'll give a brief account of myself.

I was always a loner, and I still am. I never had too many friends. In high school, all except three of my friends were distant to me. So as you can, those particular three friends are a part of my soul. I love them. Because they were the only ones that actually cared for me. I always thought they were my gods. And I, their servant.

Of course we've had fights, issues, trust issues especially. Now, to talk about my friends,
I have a crush on one of them , and I started to fall in love with that guy because the other guy was supposedly cheating on me.
I always thought he was giving head to some other guy. That he was cheating on me, a.k.a not loyal. But I didn't have the evidence to back my claim up. We broke off anyway.

Now, I think my three friends will HARM or even possibly KILL me or my family members. I do not know why, but everytime I go outside to do something, I always worry about my mother and sister at home. I always think they are in danger. I sometimes feel like they are conspiring to harm or even kill me.

I do not know, how and why, this has been affecting me. For example, I still love my current crush but I think he might kill me. It's not my main problem though, my main problem is that I am starting to believe in my fantasies. I hear voices in my head, of my friends. I always think they will visit me "today", where today is every current day. I am starting to believe, what I hear in my head. I believe that they will visit me or give me a surprise or perhaps that my current crush will give me a marriage proposal.

The voices in my head are getting stronger and stronger each and every day. My psychiatrist has given me pills and they are not currently working to fix my brain. I am having suicidal thoughts because I think my current crush is cheating on me. I hear voices in my head, as if they are on the next room, and I believe in them. The voices do not command me, but I still hear the voices of my friends in my head.

I think I am going crazy. It's ridiculous, to have your heart broken due to imaginary situations. Also, even though I daily think my friends will visit me, they never do. Either they hate me and want me dead or they have ceased to care about me.
 
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T

The_Doctor

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#2
I forgot to mention, but I do not hear the voices of my friends only. I hear thought-like voices of my dad, mom, and family members. They carry bad news as well. But the most heartbreaking are my friends' voices. I hear them planning to kill me, planning to break up with me, abandon me, etc. They're so heartbreaking I am suffering from depression and am thinking of killing myself. I just know they are fantasies, but one side of me always tells me it's a part of reality. I am so damn confused right now. I am thinking of committing suicide.

Edit : I just heard the voices of my friends in my head calling me names like bitch, whore, idiot, asshole etc. for no reason.
 
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N

nounandnoun

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#3
if you are feeling unsafe the Doctor, please go to a and e, please don't hurt yourself. Your experiences are very distressing and if you are contemplating suicide you need help straight away

I understand how difficult it is to ignore the voices, it is great that you have the insight to know they aren't real but that doesn't mean you don't need support. Have you been honest with your psychiatrist about how things are going for you?
 
Mayflower7

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#4
Hi,
Please get some help, you sound very poorly. Do you have a crisis team you can contact today?? If not then go to A/E like others suggested.
I hope your feeling better very soon.
Take care
 
T

The_Doctor

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#5
if you are feeling unsafe the Doctor, please go to a and e, please don't hurt yourself. Your experiences are very distressing and if you are contemplating suicide you need help straight away

I understand how difficult it is to ignore the voices, it is great that you have the insight to know they aren't real but that doesn't mean you don't need support. Have you been honest with your psychiatrist about how things are going for you?
Thank you so much for your reply. I do feel unsafe and I long for visiting my psychiatrist. I have been honest with my psychiatrist and I do not know what he has prescribed me but I hope he will cure me. The voices are very believable, I know they aren't real, but they feel very real. I know it sounds contradictory, but that's my situation.

I didn't talk much about my delusions to my psychiatrist, I will do that the next visit. I think he has given me some antidepressant. I hope he cures the voices ASAP and in any way possible.
 
T

The_Doctor

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#6
Hi,
Please get some help, you sound very poorly. Do you have a crisis team you can contact today?? If not then go to A/E like others suggested.
I hope your feeling better very soon.
Take care
When I originally wrote that post, I was extremely depressed. I am better now. I just sometimes think if I had more friends, I could get some support. But I now only have my family for support.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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#7
When I originally wrote that post, I was extremely depressed. I am better now. I just sometimes think if I had more friends, I could get some support. But I now only have my family for support.
Hi,
You will find friends on the forum, please post whenever you need too if it helps. I'm glad your family support you. Glad your feeling better.
Take care
 
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T

The_Doctor

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#8
Hi,
You will find friends on the forum, please post whenever you need too if it helps. I'm glad your family support you. Glad your feeling better.
Take care
Thank you so much for your warm-hearted reply.
I am indeed feeling a lot of better now. Thanks for showing your support.
 
T

The_Doctor

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#9
I did some research (read a book on psychiatry for the sake of intellectual fun) and I found out I am also having confabulations.
 
T

The_Doctor

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#10
I am starting to believe I heard voices of my friends insulting me. That's truly heartbreaking and it makes me feel so depressed. I personally think I should see my psychiatrist three-four days earlier and tell him my situation. I don't know whether it's auditory hallucinations or something else, but I just feel like I heard voices and they were of my friends insulting me. Since outside of family they're my only support, I feel heartbroken and suicidal. Not that they care about me.

Edit : I feel like seeing my psychiatrist ASAP, but I cannot. I think I might have confabulations, too. But I do not know what's happening to me. I am confused. I'll ask my psychiatrist.
 
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Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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#11
Hi,
Sorry your going through this, it's a shame you can't see your psychiatrist early.
Keep safe until then, do tell your dr about all your concerns.
Thanks for keeping us updated.
Take care
 
Yellowbrickbridge

Yellowbrickbridge

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#12
Hi The doctor, could you make an emergency appointment with your gp or an arranged after practice phone call today? I think that would be wise as I think your gp may prescribe you an anti psychotic drug, since you are hearing voices and experiencing by the sounds of it first episode psychosis and depression.

I experienced similar delusions to you paranoid delusions, an anti-psychotic medication helps ease the symptoms

:hug:

You will find the right help soon, dont give up

YBB
 
T

The_Doctor

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#13
Hi,
Sorry your going through this, it's a shame you can't see your psychiatrist early.
Keep safe until then, do tell your dr about all your concerns.
Thanks for keeping us updated.
Take care
And I thought I was irritating you! I updated this thread because whenever I do it feels good, like I am venting off my feelings. I feel a little less depressed whenever I update this thread and you guys show support to me, it all feels good and better now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. God bless you.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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#14
And I thought I was irritating you! I updated this thread because whenever I do it feels good, like I am venting off my feelings. I feel a little less depressed whenever I update this thread and you guys show support to me, it all feels good and better now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. God bless you.
No you'd never irritate me, please post whenever you want. I'm glad it's helping. Thanks for your lovely message.
Take care
 
T

The_Doctor

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#15
Hi The doctor, could you make an emergency appointment with your gp or an arranged after practice phone call today? I think that would be wise as I think your gp may prescribe you an anti psychotic drug, since you are hearing voices and experiencing by the sounds of it first episode psychosis and depression.

I experienced similar delusions to you paranoid delusions, an anti-psychotic medication helps ease the symptoms

:hug:

You will find the right help soon, dont give up

YBB
I have an appointment with my psychiatrist at 20th June. I am considering going a little earlier (by 18th-19th June) because I am feeling extremely hopeless, sad and depressed. I think I am having mood swings. So if I visit my psychiatrist early he could give me proper mediation. I especially need to tell my psychiatrist things I hadn't told him before, like the detailed description of my friends' malicious intentions.

I think it'd be a wise idea to visit my psychiatrist a bit earlier before my pills end. That's all. It's just I am not feeling even a little bit sane and I want him to help me, ASAP. Or I might just commit suicide due to imaginary situations.

Edit : I also think I should visit my psychiatrist before 20th June is that because my symptoms of paranoia, anxiety and dementia are worsening. I think it'd be a really wise idea to visit him earlier than thought.
 
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Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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#16
I have an appointment with my psychiatrist at 20th June. I am considering going a little earlier (by 18th-19th June) because I am feeling extremely hopeless, sad and depressed. I think I am having mood swings. So if I visit my psychiatrist early he could give me proper mediation. I especially need to tell my psychiatrist things I hadn't told him before, like the detailed description of my friends' malicious intentions.

I think it'd be a wise idea to visit my psychiatrist a bit earlier before my pills end. That's all. It's just I am not feeling even a little bit sane and I want him to help me, ASAP. Or I might just commit suicide due to imaginary situations.

Edit : I also think I should visit my psychiatrist before 20th June is that because my symptoms of paranoia, anxiety and dementia are worsening. I think it'd be a really wise idea to visit him earlier than thought.
Hi,
Please get urgent medical help if you're feeling suicidal. The meds you're on aren't controlling your symptoms.
Take care
 
T

The_Doctor

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#17
Hi,
Please get urgent medical help if you're feeling suicidal. The meds you're on aren't controlling your symptoms.
Take care
I am currently on pills like Divalproex. I just hope my psychiatrist cures me, and I think I'll visit him in a few days, earlier than our scheduled appointment. Once again, thank you for your support.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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#18
I am currently on pills like Divalproex. I just hope my psychiatrist cures me, and I think I'll visit him in a few days, earlier than our scheduled appointment. Once again, thank you for your support.
Your welcome.
Take care and stay safe
 
C

Christobel

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#19
I have been in a somewhat similar situation as you. I had the number of my psychiatrists secretary (I'm sure you could get hold of yours) and my psychiatrist phoned me back. After talking to her she gave me an immediate appointment. You do need this sooner rather than later.
 
Yellowbrickbridge

Yellowbrickbridge

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#20
I have an appointment with my psychiatrist at 20th June. I am considering going a little earlier (by 18th-19th June) because I am feeling extremely hopeless, sad and depressed. I think I am having mood swings. So if I visit my psychiatrist early he could give me proper mediation. I especially need to tell my psychiatrist things I hadn't told him before, like the detailed description of my friends' malicious intentions.

I think it'd be a wise idea to visit my psychiatrist a bit earlier before my pills end. That's all. It's just I am not feeling even a little bit sane and I want him to help me, ASAP. Or I might just commit suicide due to imaginary situations.

Edit : I also think I should visit my psychiatrist before 20th June is that because my symptoms of paranoia, anxiety and dementia are worsening. I think it'd be a really wise idea to visit him earlier than thought.
This is ok, please understand we have been where you are, there is a bright future with the right care

:hug:

Your psychiatrist will understand, if you want to call him sooner im sure he will understand

YBB
 
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