Debilitating POCD

1

15tdelker

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Sep 5, 2018
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1
#1
I've been dealing with POCD for a good portion of my life. Recently my POCD has been unforgiving, and has made me completely question my sexuality. It's gotten to the point where I genuinely feel like I may be attracted to kids. I was monitoring my groin, as many sufferers do with this sort of OCD, but this time it was different. I thought about the possibility of doing something to my four year old niece, and I don't know if it was anxiety or actual attraction, but I feel like I felt something. It was minor and I wasn't fully erect, but the ambiguity is eating me alive. I don't want to feel this way. I'd accept the feelings it they were real, but I'm just not sure. If I am truly attracted to kids, how would you go about living with yourself? Thank you. I just want to be healthy enough so I can take care of myself and my family. I have a girlfriend who I am incredibly in love with and sexually attracted to. When I think about sex, it's almost always with her. I just don't know what to do if I did indeed feel soemthing. Any guidance would be appreciated.
 
C

ConfusedNSad

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Aug 26, 2018
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#2
This is a tough one, especially because the stigma surrounding being attracted to children (I am NOT saying you are...just that there is a lot of stigma around that)...You really should talk to a professional, especially since you had that moment about your niece. I totally send you a bunch of hugs and lots of love as you deal with this. I am so sorry that you're struggling and it must be so hard for you. Take care, ok?
 
calypso

calypso

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#3
Its not that rare to get sudden intrusive thoughts like this. But that is all they are, thoughts. I would argue that you should try to put this behind you and not let it bother you too much. The less fuel you give the thought th quicker it will ebb into the background and be replaced by other thoughts.

I know that is easy for me to say but it might be an idea to try. Use your imagination to think of a new scenario which is harmless - will power is weaker than imagination. So every time the thought appears, link it to pleasant thoughts elsewhere.

I have a safe place I have created in my mind, a scene which in my case is a lagoon in a forest where I can dive in and swim underwater without worrying about breathing. It relaxes me when I go there in my mind. Can you come up with something similar? Just a thought - I hope this makes sense.
 
C

ConfusedNSad

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Aug 26, 2018
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#4
I wonder if that would work when my urges to start a fire hit me like a freight train...

This is good advice. I think we all should try this! It sounds so relaxing!
 
D

Derg34

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Joined
Oct 20, 2018
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#5
I find making light of the thought, laughing at how ridiculous it is helps. At one point I almost accepted the idea that I was attracted to children and that as long as I didn't act on the attraction that was the best I could do. However having three young children of my own means I am constantly exposed to them, alone with them, bathing them etc and although it's still scary when a thought hits all these years of being exposed to them and not acting on my thoughts has made me realise I am not a paedophile just like I'm not a murderer or gay or any of the other things I've had trouble with.

My advise would be to spend as much time with your niece and other young children as possible and eventually you will see how irrational and ridiculous these thoughts are.
 
M

Markrobin

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Jan 21, 2019
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Devon
#6
Hello I have had
I've been dealing with POCD for a good portion of my life. Recently my POCD has been unforgiving, and has made me completely question my sexuality. It's gotten to the point where I genuinely feel like I may be attracted to kids. I was monitoring my groin, as many sufferers do with this sort of OCD, but this time it was different. I thought about the possibility of doing something to my four year old niece, and I don't know if it was anxiety or actual attraction, but I feel like I felt something. It was minor and I wasn't fully erect, but the ambiguity is eating me alive. I don't want to feel this way. I'd accept the feelings it they were real, but I'm just not sure. If I am truly attracted to kids, how would you go about living with yourself? Thank you. I just want to be healthy enough so I can take care of myself and my family. I have a girlfriend who I am incredibly in love with and sexually attracted to. When I think about sex, it's almost always with her. I just don't know what to do if I did indeed feel soemthing. Any guidance would be appreciated.
I've been dealing with POCD for a good portion of my life. Recently my POCD has been unforgiving, and has made me completely question my sexuality. It's gotten to the point where I genuinely feel like I may be attracted to kids. I was monitoring my groin, as many sufferers do with this sort of OCD, but this time it was different. I thought about the possibility of doing something to my four year old niece, and I don't know if it was anxiety or actual attraction, but I feel like I felt something. It was minor and I wasn't fully erect, but the ambiguity is eating me alive. I don't want to feel this way. I'd accept the feelings it they were real, but I'm just not sure. If I am truly attracted to kids, how would you go about living with yourself? Thank you. I just want to be healthy enough so I can take care of myself and my family. I have a girlfriend who I am incredibly in love with and sexually attracted to. When I think about sex, it's almost always with her. I just don't know what to do if I did indeed feel soemthing. Any guidance would be appreciated.
I'm suffering with pocd the same type of things.i have had over the years.its horrible.I am waiting for treatment .I've had CBT didn't work.There must be a way through this .Take care. Markrobin