Death

L

LittleMissNameless

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Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
48
Location
canada
#1
One of the men that assaulted me is dying.
He's got internal bleeding.
My mom told me yesterday and she wants to celebrate but I don't see what there is to celebrate.
Nothing's changed, it still happened.
I don't feel much of anything right, kinda empty.
But mostly alone.
The only 2 people who know exactly what happened that night is me and him.
Now it's just me.
I just would like to know if anyone has been through this before and how you dealt, anything I should know. Maybe feel less alone
 
Sorry state

Sorry state

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Hampshire
#3
Hi nameless, I had a similar situation about three years ago so I think I understand a little of how you're feeling.
Chatting to a group of old school friends someone mentioned that the guy who bullied me (and the root of all my problems) had died in a fight. They didn't know he'd bullied me, he just came up in conversation.
I remember feeling disappointed at not feeling any sense of relief or revenge or anything like that. I realised that he was no one to me. It's what he did that matters. Just because he's dead, it doesn't change what he did.
 
L

LittleMissNameless

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Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
48
Location
canada
#4
Hi nameless, I had a similar situation about three years ago so I think I understand a little of how you're feeling.
Chatting to a group of old school friends someone mentioned that the guy who bullied me (and the root of all my problems) had died in a fight. They didn't know he'd bullied me, he just came up in conversation.
I remember feeling disappointed at not feeling any sense of relief or revenge or anything like that. I realised that he was no one to me. It's what he did that matters. Just because he's dead, it doesn't change what he did.
Thanks for the response, I'm sorry that happened to you. Did it affect you at all?
The death I meant
 
Sorry state

Sorry state

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Joined
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Messages
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Hampshire
#5
Thanks for the response, I'm sorry that happened to you. Did it affect you at all?
The death I meant
Firstly, I'm sorry you had to endure what happened to you. His death didn't effect me really which is why I felt disappointed. I was hoping it would change things, give me some sense of release from feeling the way I do. Unfortunately it didn't because, like you say, what happened still happened. Nothing will change that. It's how I deal with the consequences that's important.
How are you feeling about it?
 
L

LittleMissNameless

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Mar 2, 2019
Messages
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Location
canada
#7
I'm afraid it'll trigger my depression even though I don't want it to. I don't want this to affect me at all.
 
Lunus

Lunus

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May 20, 2019
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609
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Norfolk
#8
I'm afraid it'll trigger my depression even though I don't want it to. I don't want this to affect me at all.
Those that abuse the vulnerable, be it sexually, mentally or physically are the worst people in society. They have no idea of the trauma or suffering they cause. However, I have learnt (or am trying to) that anger or bitterness only leads to more suffering for you.
I would hope you can take this news with total indifference. There’s nothing to celebrate and hopefully nothing that will make you spiral into depression. My thoughts are with you. Be strong. :hug:
 
Sorry state

Sorry state

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Joined
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Messages
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Hampshire
#9
I'm afraid it'll trigger my depression even though I don't want it to. I don't want this to affect me at all.
I can understand why you're worried as it may feel like it brings everything to the fore again. Also you may feel pressure from others to feel better or free of something (even to celebrate!?). It's okay for his death to means nothing to you, to feel it's irrelevant. Be strong. Thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts.