Death of a Friend

cpuusage

cpuusage

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#1
Just found out that an old friend killed himself this morning. i had known him a long time. He was never involved with mental health services.

He had been going through some stuff, i had had quite a few chats with him about it all, as had a lot of other people reached out to him.

Very unexpected - i really feel for his long term partner. He was a very well known local character.

He'd been out to a function the night before & people said he appeared jolly.
 
I

itsmeagain

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#2
So sorry to hear it.
You've had a rough time of it lately.
I was just recalling how Wales football manager Gary Speed killed himself 12 or so hours after seeming bright and coherent on a tv programme.
It sheds light on how difficult so called risk assessment is really.
Keep strong and keep coming on here.
Despite it all you are part of a family on here.
 
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Pffft

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#4
Sorry to hear this, cpuusage. :(
Suicide can be so unpredictable and as itsmeagain has said some people can appear to be okay- happy even- but this is not the reality for the person. I hope you can take comfort in the fact you chatted and he confided in you.
Take care
Pffft.
 
Poopy Doll

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#5
:low: So sorry you've lost your friend in such a shocking manner. I have inquired repeatedly as to where the soul goes in suicides. I have never received a satisfactory reply. Is there a memorial or funeral planned ?? HUGS to you.
 
Kerome

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#6
:low: So sorry you've lost your friend in such a shocking manner. I have inquired repeatedly as to where the soul goes in suicides.
I think souls who have committed suicide are treated with a lot of compassion. They ended up breaking down under the pressures of life, some people's lives are hard and they have little to fall back on, and I think the powers that be will sympathetic and give them guidance in reconnecting to the rest of the soul community.
 
Poopy Doll

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I think souls who have committed suicide are treated with a lot of compassion. They ended up breaking down under the pressures of life, some people's lives are hard and they have little to fall back on, and I think the powers that be will sympathetic and give them guidance in reconnecting to the rest of the soul community.
What a wonderful point of view, Kerome.
 
cpuusage

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#8
Another death i heard of someone i knew this morning. They had been on a relapse a while, it was a heroin overdose, found dead in the street. Spent a far amount of time in their company at one stage.
 
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cpuusage

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Hi, really sorry to hear that!! we are all here for you!!
Thanks. Not everyone is, but it's generally supportive as on-line forums go.

Someone else i know is in hospital on life support after a heroin OD - he was 15 years clean / sober & it happened in the first hit of a relapse.

It happens a lot, & have been around addiction / recovery circles a lot.
 
Poopy Doll

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#13
Sorry also to hear about your other friend who is on life support.

My bf had a relapse with alcohol one time in the 23 years I've known him. It lasted a year and then he returned to AA. The FBI came and took his brother away, right in front of him, and the charges were a shock, so he crawled into a bottle of vodka and stayed there for a year.

Heroin is worse. I had a date as a teenager and my date was older. He told me to NEVER try heroin because it was so good I'd never be able to quit. I listened to him.

Did your friends give you any indication that there was a problem ??
 
cpuusage

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#14
Did your friends give you any indication that there was a problem ??
i move in a lot of circles.

The guy who died was on a 10 year relapse, i kept my distance - he was having a very rough time, had been homeless a long time as well. He's in a better place.

The other guy on life support i haven't chatted with in a while. He'd got back heavily into gambling.

Unfortunately it's the realities of all these areas. i could make a very long list of people i have known who have died.

A very close friend of mine died when i was 15, & it totally devastated me. i do feel compassion, But every death since has little effect, other than when the cat died. i just feel that people have gone on to a far better place - i see it as a transition.
 
cpuusage

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#15
Current statistic -

131.4 million births per year, • 55.3 million people die each year

Is life. All part of the rich tapestry.
 
Poopy Doll

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People are always saying that they will pray for a person who has died. I pretty much think prayer is just to make the person praying feel better. The deceased has gone to the astral realm in his astral body and he doesn't need our prayers. IMO
 
cpuusage

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People are always saying that they will pray for a person who has died. I pretty much think prayer is just to make the person praying feel better. The deceased has gone to the astral realm in his astral body and he doesn't need our prayers. IMO
i agree. i do wonder about prayer. i have prayed pretty much every night my entire life, & a lot during the days, But honestly i think it's overrated.

i keep it very simple now with what i say.
 
cpuusage

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#19
Hi CPU,
Sorry for your loss,
Take care
Thanks. It's life. In the years shortly before i got clean / sober there were quite a number of deaths of people i knew. Within 3 months of sobriety 2 close friends were dead. In just over 15 years of sobriety since there has been a lot of deaths. People are born & die. Around addiction / recovery circles death seems very common, But i suppose that goes with the territory.
 
Kerome

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#20
Another death i heard of someone i knew this morning. They had been on a relapse a while, it was a heroin overdose, found dead in the street. Spent a far amount of time in their company at one stage.
Sorry to hear about your friend, cpu. It's not easy when you hear someone you know has passed on, last year was a seminal year for me as well, with two family members leaving the fold.

But I think you're right that addiction circles make it more common, and mental health too to a certain extent. In the last five years I've known two people who took their own lives.
 
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