Dear Mind

M

MarlieeB

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Sorry for just putting threads up.

You know when you hate company but also are alone.

I'm not feeling great. (Understatement of the year)

All the time, all I can think of is to die. Not going to happen though cause Christmas.

Just want that magic pill that just takes it all away for even an hour, forget everything that comes with mental illness for an hour. I'm not asking for much surely? Well course not but unless there is something hidden in the world that we don't know of I know it ain't going to happen.

Just wish my head would shut up, for just one minute or at least enough to let me sleep.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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i feel the same as you marliee ,im not sure how to help or advise ,but sending you lots of love
lets try and get through this together xx :hug:
 
BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

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Dear Marliee

Im sorry you are feeling so low at the moment

Christmas can be tough

I think you're GREAT - you've helped me so so much and no doubt many other posters as well

If I could hug you thru the screen I would

BDU
 
M

MarlieeB

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I'm fine with Christmas as it gives me company it's all the other times.

I'm staying as safe as I can. Just need my head to stop for a little while, mostly.
 
BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

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I'm fine with Christmas as it gives me company it's all the other times.

I'm staying as safe as I can. Just need my head to stop for a little while, mostly.
Yeah ive been waiting for my head to stop for a little while since I was about 5

aint gonna happen

its a freakn MIRACLE im not a drinker with This Brain

I often say to (fancy psychs looking down their nose) I'd like to see YOU spend a day in My Brain; You wouldn't survive half an hour Fancy Pants

The Bravest thing we do is Stay Alive

(((hugs))) Marliee

This too shall pass x

ETA: Our Brains are also Awesome - would you Seriously want someone elses? Nope....most folk walk around in a dull grey fog, we have Fireworks and sparkles

Please don't apologise for Thread Starting...there wouldn't be a forum at all if no one started any!

I think this thread is great - a few words and you've captured so much of how it feels x
 
M

MarlieeB

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Maybe I could sell it online..... lol

If only you could.
 
BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

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Maybe I could sell it online..... lol

If only you could.
My Therapist runs a college and has been grooming me from Day One to be a lecturer

He thinks I should be on stage (probably is right)

He has learnt more of his patients than from any of his 6 degrees, he tells me

His students learn from his patients

I imagine the Lectures (if I ever get there) will be around How Being MI Feels for Someone Previously Incredibly Capable

I try my best to use accurate language and descriptors even in Therapy

The best way I can describe it is - I don't know you remember those old agitator washing machines you had to stand over - I feel like im in one of those, emotionally

BPD = emotional PTSD

I am screaming in pain yet perambulating through life like not a thing is wrong; folks want to know how I did this.

I guess what im trying to say, is, I too just get so fed up with this Illness

Frustrated, grief stricken - its cost me everything, including (almost) my entire existence

I find it helpful to try and view my condition from a more Technical standpoint

such as a Student would take

I feel like x because I have BPD>>>learning triggers, etc

I don't know

Im kinda new to all this having only been diagnosed in January

But I've been "sick" for 5 years - 5 years I never even saw coming

Somehow ive survived - so have you!!! :D

Folks want to know how, and I think we need to educate both them and ourselves

x
 
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MarlieeB

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Sorry I can't read all that.

I haven't slept for nearly two days and just can't do long posts right now x
 
M

MarlieeB

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Thing is.

Being pre moderated for 2 months and 25 days (because I was ill) really didn't help with anything it actually made me worse. Oh well.

As Nikita is allowed to talk about it. I can as well.
 
T

ToughOlive7

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Honeybeeeee :loveshower:

I'm so so sorry you're feeling like this :hug5:

I wish I could tell you how to make it better but I haven't figured that out myself. I'm glad you're staying safe :hug1:

Do something nice... have some ice-cream :drool: it's a well known scientific fact that ice-cream is good for the brain ;)

Love you honeybee xxx
 
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NickStokes

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Go day by day. It is a constant struggle but you can do it!
 

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