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dealing with the diagnosis

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blueorange

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 27, 2014
Messages
203
It has been 8 months since my diagnosis of bipolar disorder and I still have problems with it. At first I thought the diagnosis was wrong. I was so sure about it. Then I accepted the situation and said ok, I'll take my medication and go on, that's all. Then I had problems with medications + have rapid cycling. I couldn't go on but change medications, go to my pdoc often, argue side effects, think about other therapy methods, search for a good psychotherapist etc.

I don't know how I ended up like this but I'm obsessed with my illness right now. Always thinking about it. Reading a lot, writing. I wish I never knew I have bipolar. Maybe it was better not to be diagnosed. I don't know. Since I'm reading books which are for pdocs not for us I had to read some negative things like there can be a permanent cognitive impairment with the disease etc. All these made me feel worse.
Also the mood trackers, diaries. Trying to think how I am right now, how I feel, what is my energy level, is this new medication good or bad or nothing, am I having side effects etc. You know.
I had a life before. Now I just have bipolar. I can't believe it turned out like this.

Now I don't understand how I am. I'm not well but if this is because of medication or my illness or cognitive impairment or my psychology.

How do you handle?

Maybe if I was lucky enough to find the right medication I would just go on as I expected.
 

cpuusage

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Sep 25, 2012
Messages
37,637
Location
Planet Lunatic Asylum
It has been 8 months since my diagnosis of bipolar disorder and I still have problems with it. At first I thought the diagnosis was wrong. I was so sure about it. Then I accepted the situation and said ok, I'll take my medication and go on, that's all. Then I had problems with medications + have rapid cycling. I couldn't go on but change medications, go to my pdoc often, argue side effects, think about other therapy methods, search for a good psychotherapist etc.

I don't know how I ended up like this but I'm obsessed with my illness right now. Always thinking about it. Reading a lot, writing. I wish I never knew I have bipolar. Maybe it was better not to be diagnosed. I don't know. Since I'm reading books which are for pdocs not for us I had to read some negative things like there can be a permanent cognitive impairment with the disease etc. All these made me feel worse.
Also the mood trackers, diaries. Trying to think how I am right now, how I feel, what is my energy level, is this new medication good or bad or nothing, am I having side effects etc. You know.
I had a life before. Now I just have bipolar. I can't believe it turned out like this.

Now I don't understand how I am. I'm not well but if this is because of medication or my illness or cognitive impairment or my psychology.

How do you handle?

Maybe if I was lucky enough to find the right medication I would just go on as I expected.
i think this happens with some of us. i've questioned it all from the beginning as well - i have a different diagnosis to bipolar.

i do & don't have answers. Have read/researched a large amount of stuff.

i would point out there are those that totally reject & escape from psychiatry - couple of recent stories here -

Dissolving Madness, Ending the Nightmare, Beginning a Better Dream - Mad In America

Polypharmacy Poisoning, Dependence and Recovery from the Psychiatric Paradigm - Mad In America

i personally question what is actually wrong with a lot of people to begin with? i think there probably are a lot of far better ways of healing & dealing with things rather than psychiatry, labels & drugs, for the vast majority of people.
 
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blueorange

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 27, 2014
Messages
203
I'm reading them thank you :)

The thing is this, to be diagnosed with something isn't a big deal but bipolar is because I know it will never go away. I'll live with it forever, even if I manage to get old, I'll still have this disorder. I have to find ways to deal with it, be it medicine or any other way I don't know.
I always believed that this will go away by time. I mean before the diagnosis, I knew there was something wrong with me but I thought it will go away eventually. Now I learned that no it will not. This is not good.
 
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pilesofsavan

Member
Joined
Apr 21, 2015
Messages
19
Location
Florida, USA
I know it's quite the pain to go through all of the trial and error of the right medications. However, one day they will find the right match for you, but it takes plenty of time to discover. As for dealing with the diagnosis, yes you have to accept that it's not something that will disappear, but if you work hard enough to find the right combination of medications for you, you will be able to cope much better with it. Including counseling as well of course. You will still struggle with the fact that your life is no longer how it was before, but you must accept how it is now. And the only way to go forward is to continue with the search of finding the right medications for you and always be alert of how you're feeling.
 
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