Dealing with the anniversary of a traumatic event?

PurpleDaffodils

PurpleDaffodils

Active member
Joined
May 11, 2018
Messages
32
Location
Southern US
#1
I was officially diagnosed with PTSD within the last year from an abusive relationship I was in almost two years ago now. I was in the relationship for 5 years which included manipulation, emotional, paychological, financial, sexual and threat of physical abuse.

I started noticing my depression worsening around the same time of year, I become sensitive, irritable, have worse flashbacks and nightmares than rest of the year, self harm, suicidal ideation, and just general fatigue. I am on medication that had worked fantastically up until now. I was improving.

My trauma was in the end of June, but it is a build up getting worse and worse starting a month before. I had experienced similar trauma throughout the relationship but this one experience was very traumatizing as I was immobilized and incapable of being able to say or do anything to even attempt to stop it.

I have been having a lot of trouble being alone, to the point where almost the second I am away from my friends/boyfriend I begin to have creeping suicidal thoughts and have to distract myself. As it gets closer I have been unable to distract myself. I have been self-harming, and that typically has kept me "satiated" for a few days as I'm embarrassed because my boyfriend gets upset (he doesn't get angry at me just gets upset that I didn't reach out) but I don't want to smother him with all my problems or chase him away because I'm fixated on this past event. He has a psych background and is amazing and helps me so much but he also deals with a lot of his own depression and anxiety and I feel awful just dumping my crap on top of his.

I don't know what to do. I'm see a psychiatrist but the meds have more side effects the higher the dosage and its only worse during this time. How do you all cope with anniversaries?

I'm trying to not stay drunk or sleeping, I have the means to do so, but I don't want to lose two months of my life because I can't cope...
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Joined
Mar 9, 2012
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4,428
Location
Tigger and Willow's house
#2
Are you seeing a counsellor as well as the psychiatrist? :hug:

When my difficult anniversaries come around, the only thing i find helps is to stay busy :hug:
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
1,759
Location
USA
#3
I try to practice self care when anniversaries roll around.I take it easy,only do things that are necessary,really try to pamper myself.I take the day(or days) off and do nothing at all and whatever else makes things easier for me.I meditate,use mindfulness and also medical marijuana.

It's hard when going through that build up to an anniversary and trying so hard just to get through the days.hugs
 
T

Trekster33

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2019
Messages
84
Location
South West UK
#4
I try and replace bad anniversaries with better ones. I know easier said than done.

Are there any celebrities you admire that have their birthday in common with the anniversary? Any friends with birthdays in common?

You could distract yourself by saying "it's so and so's birthday today, so I'm going to play their best song that's my favourite, wish them happy birthday, go out for a coffee with them" etc

It is still a bad anniversary and it is natural to feel scared, work with your feelings rather than against them. I have monophobia (fear of being alone) from time to time and know how scary it is.

Well done for getting rid of your abuser and for getting this far on your healing journey hoping the anniversary goes well for you. If it helps one of my good anniversaries is now becoming a trigger because that identity I had confirmed is under question.