Dealing with separation

S

SaraT11

New member
Joined
Mar 23, 2015
Messages
3
#1
Hi I'm new here :)
What I would like to know is how people deal with separation anxiety when their SO has to leave for work, etc. My bf and I have been together 2 years and I've just given birth to our son. It's been a roller-coaster relationship, in the beginning I found texts suggesting he planned to cheat but no concrete evidence he had done anything so we worked through it but I only got my BPD diagnosis 12 months ago and he's been with me throughout. I have periods when I'm extremely clingy and periods when I'm not too bothered. We broke up for 10 weeks a month before the baby was born. I believe I want to be with him and I believe he loves me. As you can imagine, I've been a nightmare for him at times. The problem I have now is dealing with separation when he leaves. We don't live together so he leaves at night if he has work the following day. Then I won't see our hear from him till he finishes work (which could be 8pm - 9pm the following day), he doesn't text when he's working, so I'm at home all day getting more and more anxious as my brain works over time and missing him like crazy! I know it's pointless and he's coming home to me but I just can't deal with it and end up in tears and a total wreck, then he gets here and hasn't got a clue what's going on!
I just want to be able to go about my day feeling secure and happy. Does anybody have any advice or can anybody relate?
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,534
Location
The West Country
#2
Hi SaraT11,
To be honest, i've never had a boyfriend and so I can't really talk from experience.
But reading your post, have your told your boyfriend how anxious you get? You say that you get upset and that when he comes to see you he hasn't a clue what's going on.
Perhaps you could tell him how much a text on his lunch break would mean to you?

Also, obviously you're looking after your little one during the day and I bet that's a job in itself.
But do you do anything in terms of helping you distract yourself?
I'm wondering if you have any friends or family that might be able to visit even if it's just for one afternoon a week, so that you've got a bit of adult company to help you take your mind off of your boyfriend not being there?

Those are just a couple of suggestions and as I said, I can't really talk from experience.
I hope that you can overcome this anxiety though.