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Dealing with people

C

Cobb_

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2015
Messages
4
Location
Fife, Scotland
Hello. I'm a 32 year old guy from Scotland. I've suffered major depression since my teens. I'm lucky in a way that I know what triggers my depression, but in all those years I have still never found a way to solve it.

My biggest problem is with people and relationships. It seems that no matter where I go or who I speak to I end up being rejected, ridiculed or ignored. I approach every social situation with an open mind and try to be approachable, happy, kind and sociable but I always end up by myself in a corner, ignored.

To be 32 and have no friends in the world is a painful situation to be in, and I feel so low and so lonely. I feel like I'm running out of avenues to explore. I have spent time volunteering only to be told more than once not to come back I'm 'not suitable'. To be told this after spending my time and money to help others is very painful. Coupled with overhearing people at work talking about how strange I am, I have no idea how I reached this place, but it is a very dark place indeed.

I wonder if anyone else feels the same way, or have ever managed to improve their lives socially and has some advice to share?
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Do you know why they said you were not suitable?
Did they offer you any feedback?

That was an insensitive thing to say - particularly as you were volunteering and trying to help others. I'm sorry you had that discouraging experience.:unsure:

Loneliness and lack of friendships is really horrible, but unfortunately seems to be common in people with metal health issues.

Have you looked around to see if there are any activities for people with mental health issues in your area, perhaps run by Mind or Rethink?
 
coldwater00

coldwater00

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 19, 2013
Messages
3,372
Location
Yorkshire
Well that is really horrible of them IMO that they would make you feel so low by treating you that way. Some people are so cruel and really need to take a good look at themselves and their attitudes.

I have been made fun of a lot in my life. Especially when I was at college as I didn't really fit in - very tall and gangly, flat chest, loads and loads of curly hair. I was also really shy and people thought I was stuck up even though I was just really anxious. I remember there was this one girl at college who was a friend of someone I went to school with. She came over to me in the canteen and started chatting to me - seemed quite friendly at the time. Then she went back to my friend from school and said I was "a fucking weirdo". Also when I was on work experience I was harassed by this bloke that worked on the farm I was working on and then he called me a "stuck up bitch" in front of everyone else and they started laughing about it. They were like 40 year old men as well and I was working for free on their farm (the only woman). Nice.

I think you should ask for feedback as to why you are "not suitable" for some of the work you have done - it's only fair that they give you a reason, they can't just kick you out without explaining themselves.
 
A

amber1

Active member
Joined
Jan 29, 2015
Messages
43
I'm 52 and have struggled with loneliness to some degree most of my life so I really feel for you Cobb. Building up email friendships has sometimes been helpful for me though it's not always easy to maintain through episodes of depression. Have you tried anything like a meet up for people with social anxiety (if you think you have that...) I heard someone mention there is an online support group in Scotland for SA. Keep getting yourself out there to activities with others as much as you can...local walking/rambling groups can be good if there are any in your area, I consider myself lucky living in London because there's so much to do but it's not easy when depressed. Wish I could be of more help, don't give up Cobb and be as gentle and kind toward yourself as you can.
 
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