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Dealing with depression

S

SpaceFarmer

New member
Joined
Nov 15, 2018
Messages
1
Hi All. My wife has been suffering from what appears to be depression and things have taken a turn for the worst in the last few weeks. She has decided that she no longer wanted to be in a relationship and that we should separate but live together for the kids. The kids are very young and both under 5. The reason for her depression is a combination of things. I for a start have not always been there for her and her relationship with her mother is pretty much non-existent now. I love her but the last few years have been really hectic with the kids that we did not have much time for just the 2 of us. The kids are more attached to me which also does not help. We don’t have lots of family around for help and support which most of the time just rely on the 2 of us to get things done.

I have agreed to the fact that she no longer wants us to be a couple but we have not told anyone and just living together for the kids. In the last few weeks there has been days when she has been upset and acting strangely but overall the days have been pretty much the same as before i.e. having fun with kids, doing family stuffs and going out. We have not been intimate but I can understand.

I have told her that I just want to be there as a friend and respect her decision. I have been trying really hard to just talk about things and do things as normally as possible. The last week has been really good and almost forgot the arrangement we had until this morning when I gave her a friendly goodbye hug she did not want it and reminded me of the arrangement.

I understand that depression is unpredictable and has highs and lows but I am struggling to deal with this. I was happy all week until it all came crashing down this morning. It just messes with the head. I don’t want to tell her that she needs to go get professional help just in case she thinks I am being patronising but I am not sure how to deal with this.

It breaks my heart to see her like this and I feel helpless.
 
R

Roseessa

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 11, 2018
Messages
98
Location
Nottingham
Hi,
First of all please look after yourself.
This will have an impact on you.
The arrangement isn't going to help anyone if I am being honest.
Maybe sit her down and explain that you think she should at least go to the doctors and see what they say and then go from there.
I hope you are okay.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,874
Location
England
Hi,
Sorry to hear about your wife, maybe couples counselling might help.
Her judgement may be clouded by her depression at the moment, hope things work out for you.
Glad your getting some support here for yourself, hope she goes to the dr.
Here to listen.
Take care
 
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