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Dealing with a breakup through the BPD "lens" --

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TheBoyWithAWanderingMind

Active member
Joined
May 12, 2019
Messages
37
Location
USA
Hello, everyone!

I'm very interested in learning if any of you who struggle with BPD, have ever dealt with a painful breakup sometime in your life.

Last weekend, my boyfriend of almost two years has expressed that he's recently lost feelings for me and would like a break to see if his feelings reappear. He had also made mention of a guy from his past, who he had recently been re-acquainted with, had reached out to him and wanted to "catch up". After he broke this news to me, I felt as though a rug had been yanked out from under me and that my entire life had been turned onto its side. This past week, I was a mental/emotional wreck. I had so much anxiety, I felt hollow. I had absolutely no appetite for food and could only eat small things - carrots, cucumber, etc. - and that was about it. At night, my stomach was in knots, and I'd constantly wake up with my mind was burdened with thoughts of my boyfriend talking to this other person. It was all I could think about for the following several days and it was all I could do to stay focused at work. When I would go out, I couldn't bring myself to go anywhere he and I had gone for our date nights or anything like that, as the returning memories would bring me to tears. I had gone out for dinner with my family at an outdoor shopping center that we have nearby. This was a place that he and I would come every few weeks or so, to eat, get drinks, shop and walk around, etc.. and being there in this instance, had me overcome with anxiety and sentimentality. At one point, I broke down....and I cried. Not heavy sobs but my feelings had gotten the best of me.

Now, about a week later, I'm doing significantly better. He and I have talked everyday since and while I don't think his feelings for me have returned (yet?), I'm doing much better than I was last week. Adjusting myself to the "single life" has been a bit of a challenge but nevertheless, I've persisted and am doing better.


Has anyone else ever been through something like this before? If so, how did you cope and how did you get through?


Love and blessings to all! <3
 
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anxiousbee

Active member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
29
Location
United States
hello! :)

i'm going through a similar situation and haven't really been able to cope. Sorry i can't be of any help, but i'm glad you're doing better!
 
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TheBoyWithAWanderingMind

Active member
Joined
May 12, 2019
Messages
37
Location
USA
hello! :)

i'm going through a similar situation and haven't really been able to cope. Sorry i can't be of any help, but i'm glad you're doing better!
Hello!

I'm very sorry to learn of your current situation! As you know, I'm currently in the same boat but I do believe that the worst is behind me. For me, I've found that in situations like these, time is the ultimate healer.

If you shared some detail with me, perhaps I could be of help to you? It's my pleasure to help.

Have a wonderful evening!
 
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anxiousbee

Active member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
29
Location
United States
Maybe you could help, but is it okay if i message you about it?
Thanks, you too! :)
 
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Lockpon

Well-known member
Joined
May 23, 2019
Messages
65
Location
UK
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through that right now, OP. Break ups are bad enough on their own, never mind with all the emotions BPD brings. I really really feel for you.

I am very lucky I did not permanently lose my current partner, but there have been many times I nearly did and the pain was unimaginable. So as not to go on for too long, I won't mention any specific events, but I remember the emotions well. Betrayal, heart-pounding anxiety, extreme sadness, emptiness, suicidal thoughts... It was pure hell. I don't know what I would've done had the relationship actually ended.
 
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TheBoyWithAWanderingMind

Active member
Joined
May 12, 2019
Messages
37
Location
USA
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through that right now, OP. Break ups are bad enough on their own, never mind with all the emotions BPD brings. I really really feel for you.

I am very lucky I did not permanently lose my current partner, but there have been many times I nearly did and the pain was unimaginable. So as not to go on for too long, I won't mention any specific events, but I remember the emotions well. Betrayal, heart-pounding anxiety, extreme sadness, emptiness, suicidal thoughts... It was pure hell. I don't know what I would've done had the relationship actually ended.
Despite the unfortunate circumstances, it's always comforting to know when a person has struggled in the same ways that I have <3 Like you, I haven't permanently lost my partner. We're just on a "break" right now. I have to admit, however, that this experience has taught me a lot.
 
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